<p>Depends upon the size of the circle.
Our daughter and her classmates have issues with a local school, which is otherwise very popular. Because living at home is not what they want for college experience, plus commute is commute and will add up to hundreds of hours eventually. Living in a dorm? But dorm rooms are doubles or triples that are usually much smaller than their bedrooms at home and cost a lot of money on top of already expensive tuition. Also feels stupid, even if parents OK it. Plus, sometimes a local college may feel like the 13th grade of high school with 50+ former classmates attending it. So I understand trying to avoid the local school.
I also understand willingness to stay within train/driving distance. DDs applications were like that. It leaves AN OPTION of seeing you family if you miss them. Kids do not know if they will miss their parents. Some do, some don’t. Some kids visit only for Christmas and in summer even if they are 2-3 hours away. But others will welcome parents dropping-in on a weekend and will themselves come for long weekends and Thanksgiving. Also, having a few high school classmates in college is a plus.</p>
<p>D was adamant about leaving our midwest state. She was the only one in her circle of friends who did not apply to our very well respected flagship state U. She did apply to a few schools that were 6 or 7 hours away, but in the end she decided to go south … 11 or 12 hours away. We were fortunate enough to have my in laws a couple hours away (just in case). She is transferring to another southern school, but it is only 9 hours away. We actually look forward to that, because it is a very do-able drive.</p>
<p>She did start out with some CA schools. I bit my tongue, but was very relieved when she decided that they were just too far. She realized there were lots of great choices that were closer. Whew.</p>
<p>D is really just starting to think about this issue now. At the moment, she absolutely does not want to stay local, including NYC. Right now, she says she wants to stay on the east coast, anywhere between Virginia and Massachusetts. Also, she wants to be able to travel home without much hassle. There are so many good choices within that range, that I think she should be fine.</p>
<p>S did not want to leave CA. Actually he did not want to leave Northern CA and Santa Barbara was as far south as he was willing to apply.It is not that he is not adventurous, he just likes everything about Northern Ca…and who can blame him? (I think my own prejudices may have influenced him, although he would never admit it)</p>
<p>The other day Son asked how faraway Lafayette is from home. I answered about 3.25 hours. “OK, good,” he replied. “Close enough to come home for the weekend, but far enough that you have to warn me if you’re coming to visit.”</p>
<p>That’s about the extent of our discussion on the subject. </p>
<p>Oh, wait, he ruled out Rice because Texas is too far.</p>
<p>A circle does not do it. Accessibility is often more the issue than distance. There are many kids here who go to schools within 4 hours, but oh what a miserable, difficult 4 hours it can be, especially in nasty weather. No easy transportation available. My son goes to a school that is more than 7 hours away, but there are many flights from his city to ours, often available at good rates. There are buses, trains, and the highway is well maintained, making it a relatively easy drive. There is even a Chinatown bus service that cut the cost down to about $50 buck to get there, not to mention many kids in the area or have to go by where we live, so that transportation is not a big cost item. </p>
<p>My close friend’s son went to a school about 3 hours away from home with a horrible drive, bad roads, and not much in amenities at the college town. She much prefers the trip to her daughters college choice which is really about 13 hours away, but even the drive is on major roads. Many flights available and even the train. Also many kids go to school there so getting rides has been easy for her. For son to even take a bus, he has to take it to a nearby city, then transfer. Nothing direct.</p>
<p>My grandfather told me when I was applying to colleges that I must follow the same instructions as he gave his own children- “Stay inside the Golden Triangle!” He drew the line from Chicago to Washington, DC to Boston and they were allowed to go to colleges inside that triangle. Somehow it worked for everyone so far- no one’s gone past Chicago or south of DC!</p>
<p>Friend of mine befuddled her parents by picking a school within the old triangle and ended up in a small college out in the middle of nowhere! It was a great choice for her, she loved it, did well, does well, met spouse there, plus, plus, plus. But when her parents realized how far and inaccessible the school was, they were speechless. They though by limiting it to the surrounding states, that they were limiting time spent on travel. Not always the case. In our state, if you pick a school at one end, and you live at the other, you are quite a distance away. And there are many schools in tiny towns where you HAVE to drive to get there as there are no buses, trains, etc.</p>
<p>This is a mixed bag at my house: DDs did not want to leave the west/PNW/SW so have schools in our home state, in the state to our north and in 3 non bordering states on their respective lists.</p>
<p>DH has a very hard time wrapping his brain around them going OOS. I get that. He wants them close enough to home to come home for the weekend if they want to. He wants to be chief protector/cheerleader/awesome daddy as he always has been but it seems unlikely to work out that way. Harriet if we used the 3 hour radius your kids have, it would leave us with three viable options but one is financially iffy and the other two affordable but but w/ acceptance rates low enough to definately put them on the reachy side of things. This has forced them to look outside the circle that DH is comfortable with. So he has uncomfortably resigned himself to a 9 hour radius. But those schools in states which don’t border ours still don’t sit well with him as they are outside of that 9 hour limit. I of course give lip-service to wanting them to go wherever they’re hearts take them…really this is more than lip service it’s just that at the same time as I am syin it I am hoping both will be close enough so that I can catch a performance or even the occaisional club sport game from time to time.</p>
<p>I agree w/ you and emeraldkitty though. It isn’t so much the distance as the degree to which the trip is a pain in the fanny and/or costly. San Antonio may be further away from us but it is way easier and less expensive to travel in and out of there than it is other cities which may be geographically closer.</p>
<p>Distance was definitely a criteria for me. College is about experiencing new things to me… and I’m excited to move 1000 miles away from home. The plane ride to visit is short and cheap, so I can’t see any sort of downside.</p>
<p>I heard about one dad who drew a one-hour circle around the city and demanded that his son live outside of it. Now there’s a friendly message.</p>
<p>My neighbor (in Minnesota) is from the east coast. When I asked how she got to St Paul, she said that when she was looking at colleges, her father told her she could go “anywhere east of the Mississippi”. So she got out an atlas to find the city furthest away from home, but still east of the Mississippi. She ended up at Macalester. She could have gone a mile further west if she had considered the U of M.</p>
<p>Here’s a story, which is in fact true.</p>
<p>When we first moved to Fairfax County VA from Capitol Hill, DC, we used to drive by the Annandale Campus of Northern Virginia Community College. Eventually my then 5 or 6 year old son asked what it was and we explained to him about college and that it usually involved going away from home. The thought panicked him, but eventually he agreed that he would go to NOVA which was about a mile from our house.</p>
<p>As he got older, he began to attend events at nearby George Mason University – Sesame Street, the Harlem Globetrotters. So, by the time he was 9 or 10 he agreed that he would go to Mason. When he was 15, we both agreed that he should go to school as far away as he possibly could, which he did. Fairfax County, Virginia to Los Angeles is pretty far away. He now lives and works in LA.</p>
<p>We do in fact miss him, but I am a firm believer that you raise them and then you let them go. In any case California is not as far away as it used to be especially if you live in the DC area. It’s a little different now living in Wisconsin. It seems that everything is far away. Lol.</p>
<p>A four hour radius was THE deciding factor for D2! She wanted no more than a four hour drive from home, small to mid-sized enrollment, health sciences and business major options and opportunity to play college sport. Definitely narrowed down the options but it all worked out and she is excited and looking forward to moving on after graduation.</p>
<p>historymom, yes, in Ds case, we did feel fortunate that her choice is close enough that we can get to her games now and then. (Always with a warning. :)) But as I’ve said, we’ve been spoiled in every way by D’s experiences.</p>
<p>As I look at S1, who just wandered downstairs at 11:15 (his summer job doesn’t start until Monday) with an old Calvin & Hobbes comic book to read with his breakfast, I’m finding it hard to take the whole notion of his going to college ANYWHERE seriously.</p>
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<p>Hey! What’s my kid doing over at your house? ;)</p>
<p>Don’t worry, DougBetsy, I’ll send them both to YOUR place for lunch, snacks, and some Rock Band. Okay? :D</p>
<p>Do you have a case of Doritos and several gallons of milk?</p>
<p>PS He likes Maryland. He’s already done a college visit there.</p>
<p>My son has two brothers from whom he was separated at birth?!?</p>
<p>Sometimes, I’ll say “Go read a book” and invariably he reaches for “The Calvin and Hobbes 20th Anniversary Book.” Hmmm. Not what I had in mind.</p>
<p>Since they are eating healthy, can I send my son, too? IBC root beer is his beverage of choice.</p>
<p>Maybe we should look at this differently. Maybe we should be telling everyone that they’re reading the works of great philosophers in their spare time?</p>
<p>And of course he’s welcome here, Youdon’tsay! But he may have to bring his own root beer. You can only buy A&W around here.</p>
<p>My D2 would have preferred breakfast at your house! She was very crabby after returning from a tourney in Michigan last night and having to get ready for work this morning! She is not loving being a working girl!!! As she likes to tell us we are the ONLY parents making their kid work this summer. (She works 3 hrs. per day, four days a week teaching bball and soccer.) Her favorite line so far has been that because of work she won’t have a summer break. Sheesh…H told her get used to it!</p>