Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train
And I’s feeling nearly as faded as my jeans.
Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained,
It rode us all the way to New Orleans.
Welcome this the farmhouse we have cluster flies alas
And this time of ear it’s bad
We are so very sorry there is little we can do
But swat them
Phish Farmhouse
Hey Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?
I’ m going down to shoot my old lady
You know I caught her messing around with another man
Hey Joe. Jim Hendrix
If you want to grow up to paint houses like me
A trailer in my yard til You’re Twenty three
If you want to feel old after 42 years kept dropping the hammer and grinding those gears
We,l we used to go out in a mustang
302 Mach 1 in green
Then me and your mama made you in the back
And I sold it to buy her a ring
AJason Isbell Outfit
You’ve painted up your lips and rolled and curled your tinted hair
Ruby are you contemplating, going out somewhere
The shadow on the wall, tells me the sun is going down
Oh Ruby, don’t take your love to town
Ruby ~ Kenny Rogers
This doesn’t fully fill the brief, as there’s little storyline, only mood, and the character is defined solely by the mood, but still.
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
Paint It Black, Rolling Stones
Coursera (all free) has a great course from College of Berklee on song writing taught by Pat Pattison. Actually starts this week. Very entertaining and informative. Of course the actually intent is for you to WRITE some songs to be reviewed but you can learn a lot just from the beginning videos.
“It’s a quarter to three
There’s no one in the place 'cept you and me
So set em up Joe
There’s a story I think you should know”
One More For My Baby - Frank Sinatra
The note said “Darling…
I hate to tell you this way,
But I’ve run off with your Roommate,
Signed - Your Fiance”
- Christine Lavin, Shopping Cart of Love
I never heard of Christine Lavin but already I’m intrigued!
My Pilates teacher brought in a tape of 60’s music. So appropriate to this thread. Sam Cooke, carol king, …
One more great example, at least by my lights:
“James,” said Red Molly, “That’s a fine motorbike
A girl could feel special on any suchlike.”
Said James to Red Molly, “My hat’s off to you
That’s a Vincent Black Lightning 1952 . . .”
(Richard Thompson, 1952 Vincent Black Lightning, obvs)
I disagree (also obvs) with whoever objected to Breakdown. Of course it’s about a relationship, but 90% of these songs are about relationships. You can use incident and plot to illuminate a relationship, or you can simply be in the middle of the relationship.The brilliance of that lyric, for me, is how it establishes an interesting relationship with some very simple brushstrokes. Seven unique words in the first two lines.
If you really want to include a Robert Hunter lyric, how about Jack Straw: “We can share the women, we can share the wine / We can share what we got of yours cause we done shared all of mine” ? And for John Barlow, Estimated Prophet: “My time’s coming any day, don’t worry bout me, no / Gonna be just like they say, those voices tell me so” Both of those establish a character and the character’s voice immediately.
It’s perfectly possible to write great songs without using this particular technique. I have been surprised how hard it is to think of songs that use it effectively.
Here’s a final example:
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming . . . ?
I think a case could be made for -
They tried to make me go to rehab,
I said no no no
Rehab, Amy Winehouse
Another I think fits -
If you had not have fallen
Then I would not have found you
Angel flying too close to the ground
I patched up your broken wings
And hung around a while
Trying to keep your spirits up
And your fever down
Willie Nelson, Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground
And this strikes me as Eleanor Rigby redux with this mood and character sketch (no relationship - perhaps that’s the point) -
Every day she takes a morning bath, she wets her hair
Wraps a towel around her as she’s heading for the bedroom chair, it’s just another day.
I suppose Sir Paul likes this approach, because it strikes me that Lady Madonna is similar in scope, though kept at more of an emotional distance (we observe Lady Madonna and all the children at her feet, but we aren’t empathizing with her necessarily).
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Decoration Day
Drive-By Truckers
Lyrics
It’s Decoration Day.
And I’ve a mind to roll a stone on his grave.
But what would he say.
“Keeping me down, boy, won’t keep me away”.
It’s Decoration Day.
And I knew the Hill Boys would put us away,
But my Daddy wasn’t afraid.
He said “We’ll fight till the last Lawson’s last living day”
Jason Isbell again. Decoration Day
Wake up Maggie, I think I’ve got something to say to you
It’s late September and I really should be back at school
I know I keep you amused, but I feel I’m being used
Rod Stewart, Maggie May
^^^ classic example - it drops you right down into the middle of the story
Want some whisky in your water, sugar in your tea
What’s all these crazy questions they’re asking me
This is the craziest party that could ever be
Don’t turn on the lights, cause I don’t wanna see
Three Dog Night, Mama Told Me Not To Come
How about this from John Gorka?
I walk where the bottles break
And the blacktop still comes back for more
I walk where the bottles break
And the blacktop still comes back
I live where the neighbors yell
And their music comes up through the floor
I live where the neighbors yell
And their music wakes me up
Life beyond the playground fence
Is serious as basketball
Life beyond the playground fence
Is serious
Sunny came home to her favorite room
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
She opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission
(Sunny Came Home, Shawn Colvin)
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone
(Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day)
Dig if you will the picture
Of you and I engaged in a kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can you my darling
Can you picture this?
(When Doves Cry, Prince)
I was working part time in a five-and-dime
My boss was Mr. McGee
He told me several times that he didn’t like my kind
'Cause I was a bit 2 leisurely
Seems that I was busy doing something close 2 nothing
But different than the day before
That’s when I saw her, Ooh, I saw her
She walked in through the out door, out door
(Raspberry Beret, Prince)
I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right?
(Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper)
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion -
Is nothing new
Flashback - warm nights -
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
(Time after Time, Cyndi Lauper)