<p>Jym - what nastiness? I do NOT apologize for standing up for myself. </p>
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What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. I do not think you are saying that I must deal with unlimited misinterpretation while not being allowed any leeway in my responses - I do not think that to be your style. </p>
<p>I do not mind comments; I responded in length because I take them seriously. What I do mind is snide remarks, paternalism, and intepretation of my remarks on a cut-and-paste job that makes ransom notes taken from newspaper clippings look like parroted repetition of that days’ headlines. I then really object when my clarifications and explanations are openly mocked, then those who do the mocking retreat behind Victorian kid-gloves and smelling salts.</p>
<p>“Snide remarks” was not addressed at you; I do very much apologize if you think that it was.</p>
<p>By your own admission, your post (picked up later by others) was somewhat controversial. I did try to respond to it in a thoughtful manner, although the idea of doing something which makes me uncomfortable, solely on account of pressure, despite the emotional/psychological repercussions, is quite upsetting.</p>
<p>aries-
We are all trying to gently tell you that these rants are not making any sense. Your misinterpretations are worrisome to those of us who used to care. I am with allmusic. I give up trying to be helpful. And I won’t phrase it in the form of a question because that seems to encourage a response, which is not wanted. If you feel the need to post an unnecessary response, that is your choice. I will respond no further. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>** Edit**
I just noticed your response to a “quote” (post 221)that didn’t come from me. I do not know who wrote that “quote” you posted about the internet ( in fact, I can’t even find it), but you might want to double check and direct your response to the appropriate author. It wasn’t me. Leave me out of it. PULEEZE.</p>
<p>…why post something if you don’t want a response? </p>
<p>If you post something, usually, the subject of the post replies. That’s why message boards work. No one gets to be on one end of the megaphone, wearing a miniskirt and holding pom-poms, while everyone else sits at the pep rally and listens.</p>
<p>Jym, I don’t do passive-aggressive. I don’t do girl talk - where “Think about it” means “I’m the popular cheerleader.” To me, “think about it,” means “think about it, work with it, mull it over in your head, and come back,” (the last part being a nature of a message board). Which is what I have tried to do, from the beginning.</p>
AllMusic, post #216. I responded to you in post #221, then responded to her afterwards, which was indicated by quoting her comment.</p>
<p>Edit, in light of post #227: I did direct my response to AllMusic; she was aware of my response that was directed to her, which is why she made another comment to me. There wasn’t much issue - just pointing out that I fully expect that there will be responses - just pointing out that everything works both ways. (Apparently, even that is now controversial. I can’t do anything right!)</p>
<p>I think I can understand some of aries’ points. I always think it’s unwise for posters to tell other posters (especially younger people) here to seek counseling. I simply think that is out of the range of the kind of advice someone should feel free to post on a message board.</p>
<p>I do find it interesting that our therapists are so quick to cut off the discussion and dismiss the person they purportedly “cared” about.</p>
<p>I’m not a Catholic evangelist, by any means, aries; I just thought you might enjoy a discussion of sex from a very different starting point from the one given in our popular culture. (There are actually plenty of books written from the vantage point of Catholic mothers regarding church teaching on sex–they do exist–I’ve even met a couple of women who follow the teaching, a rare breed, but they’re out there). I hope I didn’t offend you with my reference to the Vatican document. As for the celibate thing, like so many Catholic teachings, it’s hard to understand, I know. I’m definitely not even going to take the time to do it here, because I’m more than sure no one is even remotely interested! ;)</p>
<p>No offense taken at all! As I said, one serious thing, one joking thing. I do find it odd how the Catholic heirarchy - the Pope, any bishop, even priests - are celibate. It makes it hard to hear both women’s issues (for example, what about birth control when she’s been having horrible pregnancies? Post partum psychosis? Family planning the true sense, as in planning your family when you are married?) and intimacy issues from the heirarchy and from the scholars who have devoted their lives to the service of the Church. Even if I do not choose a certain path, I do get upset when no one discusses that nor alternate ways of living. </p>
<p>Hereshoping,
Just to clarify, therapy is not a bad thing, it is a good thing. It has been suggested many times on many threads to many people over many years on CC. And when a discussion goes on and on and on (for days) to no avail, it is sometimes better just to stop.</p>
<p>I think that Here’sHoping was responding to this:</p>
<p>
[quote]
And I won’t phrase it in the form of a question because that seems to encourage a response, which is not wanted. If you feel the need to post an unnecessary response<a href=“post%20#224,%20Jym,%20in%20response%20to%20me%20saying%20that%20you%20will%20get%20a%20kindler,%20gentler%20Aries%20when%20you%20ask%20questions%20instead%20of%20being%20judgmental.”>/quote</a></p>
<p>… a statement which has nothing to do with going in circles and everything to do with not wanting a response to your posts. (I will not beat a dead horse and re-quote your multiple criticisms of the fact that I bothered to respond to any poster.)</p>
<p>I know I’m going to get slammed for writing anything at this point, but Here’sHoping was commenting about numerous posts which said, “Don’t respond, don’t respond, your responses aren’t wanted;” comments which sought to end discussion by having the last word. Any poster can always say, “Well, let’s agree to disagree,” (which I had done at page 9) or “I see your point, although it does not resonate as true,” and change the thread by accord, not by fiat. </p>
<p>There’s a difference between a discussion and a monologue. The latter is ill-suited to message boards and contravenes their purpose; the nature of the former is thought, response, reply, response. Your posts indicate that you don’t want discussion, period, which is what Here’sHoping was saying.</p>
<p>With all due respect, if I have missed many comments of yours, then you have certainly done the same with mine. Consider these:</p>
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<p>I think that if there has been misunderstanding and miscommunication within this thread, it has been all the way around.</p>
<p>The thing is, aries, that you chose to share some very personal and highly-charged views in a thread that is located in the PARENT Cafe. The majority of people who post here are parents. It is difficult for me to look at something I find alarming and not express my concern. Things such as this comment:</p>
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<p>There are many more like this one, but I shall leave it at this and simply say that this does NOT resemble “normal” in any way, shape or form. Not even if singlehood and celibacy are your joyful choices.</p>
<p>I know a good number of women who have chosen not to marry or have children, one of them being my best friend of MANY, MANY years from back in jr. high school. I have NEVER given these women anything but support for their personal choices. </p>
<p>What I have obviously failed to make clear is simply this: I have ABSOLUTELY no issue whatsoever with your personal choice regarding marriage/sex/children. NONE. In fact, those things are not MINE to have issues with. The <em>ONLY</em> concern I had (and still DO have) is the anger/resentment/disdain you seem to have for many men. WARNING: <em>MY</em> layperson’s opinion ONLY: These feelings are not “normal.” I am NOT talking about your choices here, but about your FEELINGS ABOUT MEN. As I’ve said before, if these were the feelings of <em>any</em> of my daughters, I would do EVERYTHING I could to encourage her to seek professional help—not to change her mind about marriage/sex/children/romance, but rather to help her live a more emotionally healthy life. PERIOD.</p>
<p>BTW, aries, I think that your post to jym was nasty and demeaning. I have <em>never</em> read her posts to say that she was dictating or even <em>suggesting</em> what is best for you or that she knows you better than you know yourself. To the contrary, like me, she said that you owe NO ONE an explanation for your choices, but also, like me, she recognizes a level of dysfunction when it is made so obvious. In fact, the “alphabet soup” after her name relects an educational level and an expertise that neither you nor I possess. I would ask that you please respect that by simply “agreeing to disagree” rather than attacking her professional expertise or her character.</p>
<p>I have <em>no</em> idea why you felt justified in attacking -Allmusic-, other than a deep-rooted anger that is showing more than ever.</p>
<p>'Nuff said, and now, I’ll just leave it at this: I wish for you nothing but health, happiness, joy, and peace. </p>
<p>I know of no better way to say that I know that you are all in very happy marraiges which make you feel, think, and love in the exact opposite way that I know.</p>
<p>I responded with my “TMI” post, explaining that yes, no matter how hard I try, I get chucked and it might have everything to do with not putting out. Jym responds with:</p>
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Heaven forbid she actually acknowledge that I was dumped because I wouldn’t have sex! Hence the crystal ball comments. If she does not act like she has her education, I flatly refuse to respect her for it. Schooling does NOT give one a free pass.</p>
EXCUSE ME??? When did I attack AllMusic? For heaven’s sake, is every time I mention someone’s name or quote their posts a horrible, vicious personal attack? </p>
<p>Yeah, apologized twice for that one already, although I had NO IDEA that I was attacking her. </p>
<p>Would someone please direct me to the personal attack in question? The alleged (or tried & convicted) attacker
A. has zero clue,
b. is genuinely beyond bewildered, and
c. is really starting to wonder why y’all are being ridiculously hypersensitive (and, as hypersensitive people usually are, refusing to acknowledge that the other person might have feelings).</p>
<p>This thread is for seriously amusing discussions only. Guessing the gender of the various users and establishing why Florida State is 4-4 :eek: (not since 1976). </p>
<p>I am now hijacking this thread back to discussions that make folks laugh or smile. Besides, my male (male = pig) brain word buffer is full. Please condense all amusing responses to 3000 words or less per post. No excessive copying, highlighting, hyperlinking or post reference number referencing will be allowed.</p>
<p>:) Smilies are, of course, encouraged. Oops, no excessive use of punctuation, except, commas, are, allowed. </p>
I do find it odd how the Catholic heirarchy - the Pope, any bishop, even priests - are celibate. It makes it hard to hear both women’s issues (for example, what about birth control when she’s been having horrible pregnancies? Post partum psychosis? Family planning the true sense, as in planning your family when you are married?) and intimacy issues from the heirarchy and from the scholars who have devoted their lives to the service of the Church. Even if I do not choose a certain path, I do get upset when no one discusses that nor alternate ways of living. </p>
