It’s hard for me to pick a favorite (I tend not to be wired to have favorites-I like a lot of different things). There are good and bad examples of just about every gemstone out there. I could spend DAYS in the Museum of Natural History in DC just staring at all the gemstones.
I do tend to prefer gemstones that are higher on the Mohs hardness scale because I’m rough on my jewelry (I’m very active). I like beryls, sapphires, and diamonds because they’re all pretty tough. Tanzanite (the darling of the cruise ships) is really really soft, as soft as opal, and you have to be super careful with it. I love natural alexandrite-it’s so cool (it changes color in different light).
Diamonds are certified with different metrics of quality. Cut, Color, Carat, and Clarity. Clarity is how many inclusions (imperfections) the diamond has. Cut is the type of cut (princess, emerald, cushion) and the proportion of the cuts-a well cut diamond is one where the light coming in to the diamond is perfectly and maximally reflected back out. Color is color-from colorless (F color) to all the fancy colored diamonds, to a black diamond. Carat is the weight of the diamond.
For me cut is a big deal-a poorly cut diamond does not reflect the light back well at all. Most of the diamonds look good in the high powered halogen lights of a dealer, but a really good diamond will sparkle just as much in the much flatter outdoor sunshine. Always ask to see a diamond in sunlight before you buy it.
You should have a GIA report of a diamond you’re buying and it should have all of these grades on it.
I find the process of cutting and polishing a diamond very creative, and very fascinating. There are some documentaries about how the cutters look at the rough stone and “see” the finished diamonds within that stone, and have to decide how to cut it. This reminds me a lot of Michelangelo’s process-he said he’d pick marble that already had the finished work within it-it was just his job to free it from the extra marble.
Thanks @alh. You get what I am trying to ask. A Monet is a creation by an artist; a unique vision. And yet certainly not as universally desired as diamonds are.
I’m interested in the idea of whether that’s an instinctive desire, individual to each of us (or most of us), or cultural conditioning to want this particular thing. Especially like the poster who said her S would not consider man-made; it had to be “real.” So what does that mean?
I think at a broader level, the desire to surround and / or adorn oneself with things that are aesthetically pleasing is pretty universal – look at the Lescaux cave paintings, look at pretty much every civilization which has produced art, crafts, sculpture, architecture, jewelry that serve purely aesthetic functions. Even “uncivilized” indigenous populations adorn themselves with bones, paint, etc. for decorative purposes. Sorry to be dense here but I’m just not seeing how jewelry “behaves” any differently from any other art form in that regard.
Of course, I get the adornment desire as part of universal culture, and of course jewelry is part of that. I wasn’t asking about adornment or jewelry per se; this seems to be addressing some other post.
Are you then asking why some people have to have “real” (within the world of diamonds) while others are content with man-made? I suppose like anything else, that falls under personal preference. I have a copy of a Monet painting hanging in my house (it’s just a framed print, nothing special). Other people would rather have a “real” painting (even by a non-famous artist) than a print - they like texture, brushstrokes that the print doesn’t have. I don’t know that you can make much of that other than personal taste, really.
Wow, thanks for taking the time to write that great post, @MotherOfDragons !
As for the “real” vs “man-made” diamond – I suspect part of some people’s reluctance to buy man-made is that it’s cheaper… many people don’t want to be cheap skates when it comes to something as symbolic as an engagement/special occasion ring. That “advice” to spend 2 months’ salary on a diamond doesn’t help, either. What a marketing scam!
At this point in our culture you really can’t separate why you might think diamonds are beautiful. We’ve been programmed to hold them in such esteem that is it really personal preference or the years of mass media influence that makes anyone desire it over similar objects.
I agree, Dolemite. While I like diamonds, the way the high-quality ones reflect light in particular, I agree that people have been programmed into thinking about them as engagement must-haves. “A diamond is forever” is one of the most successful marketing campaigns of all time, as your cited article shows.
I overheard one woman commenting on a ruby & sapphire engagement ring her friend picked out, that it was pretty, but “didn’t look like a real engagement ring.” She sure swallowed the kool-aid.
It’s a tradition that has developed- diamonds as engagement rings. There are lots of traditions that people observe. If someone doesn’t want to observe that tradition, no problem. My religion has lots of traditions that mean something to me and which other people would not find very important. Granted- diamonds are an expensive tradition, but so what?
^^ I’m not sure you read the article I linked. It didn’t develop it was created with the purpose of selling diamonds.
I kinda like the idea of a tradition of giving a diamond made from your dead relatives or pets as an engagement ring. The recipient could gauge the strength of one’s love from the significance of the diamond, e.g a diamond made from the matriarch of the family is better than one from some unmarried great aunt. Of course in Alabama a diamond made from a man’s old coonhound is what every young lady strives to receive.
I’m beginning to think that picking out an engagement ring can be kind of a test for future marriage.
For example, (I am emphasizing: this is just my opinion) I could not marry someone who would spend way more for a mined diamond (never mind my aversion to slave mined diamonds) than a man-made one. That would just show me that we have very different views about (among other things) how money should be spent.
I’m helping one of my best friends pick out a ring for his girlfriend. This has been an on-going process for literally a few years because he is convinced that he has to buy an expensive ring but I know for a fact that she wants a simple ring with a green stone (or stones) off a site like etsy. Sigh…
Right, I think it’s something programmed into our traditions. I think questioning (not dumping, not castigating, not whatever else I’m going to get accused of) “the way we have always done this” or “what we consider valuable and why” is worthwhile exercise. Thinking about why we do what we do, especially as a culture, is interesting. To me, anyway.
I think plenty of people question or challenge traditions or things that “have always been done that way”. I didn’t even consider changing my name and my kids have hyphenated names. I didn’t want a white wedding dress. BUT- I like my diamond! I like other stones, too, but not as much.
i haven’t seen anyone on here say “oh, yes, the 2 month salary is gospel that must be followed.” Indeed, I think most people on here are talking about their own personal preferences for size and quality and settings and so forth, but aren’t walking around inspecting other people’s hands or playing Wedding Ring Police
Okay, you guys are not getting what i am saying, so nevermind. I’m not policing. You don’t ever question widely held assumptions, mores, or customs? Wonder why one thing is valued and another isn’t? Like to think about stuff?
When someone asks “why do you do such and such?” it often isn’t a challenge. It’s a question “What is the reason for such and such?” No need for the defensiveness. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Judgmental is often met with defensiveness, although I don’t see that here. Of course we question widely held assumptions and customs! We aren’t idiots! We might just happen to LIKE them even after we question them! Is that so hard to understand? Are you getting what I’m saying?
garland: I usually manage to tie myself up in knots thinking about such things. Because I understood there were cultural pressures on me to have a diamond engagement ring, and I understood a lot of it was about signalling others that you were part of their tribe, I decided not to participate and absolutely refused to have one.(Instead my husband-to-be gave me a piece of art ) But that decision was just another kind of signalling to a different kind of like-minded tribe. I care a whole lot about adornment but only like adornment most won’t recognize as “valuable” (whatever that means ), but in the end my attitude is probably more snobby and pretentious than just getting the diamond ring and going with the flow. I certainly spend a ridiculous amount of time considering it all.
Because I wouldn’t have a traditional engagement ring, all the elders in my family gave me theirs. It bothered them a whole lot I didn’t have one. They just aren’t my thing, even with significant sentimental attachments.
"Because I understood there were cultural pressures on me to have a diamond engagement ring, and I understood a lot of it was about signalling others that you were part of their tribe, I decided not to participate and absolutely refused to have one. But that decision was just another kind of signalling to a different kind of like-minded tribe. "
I for one think there is a heck of a lot less pressure today to have a big diamond engagement ring than there used to be.
) But that decision was just another kind of signalling to a different kind of like-minded tribe. I care a whole lot about adornment but only like adornment most won’t recognize as “valuable” (whatever that means