Given that feedback, I’d agree Wesleyan is a better choice for bigger and at least a little less selective.
Macalester seems like an even better fit in most ways, including being significantly less selective. But while it has a bit larger student population than Swarthmore, it is still a lot smaller than the colleges you originally listed, and actually might feel a bit smaller still just because it has such a compact campus. That of course is a function of it having such a great urban setting, but still, your kid would have to be willing to exchange some size for a good academic/selectivity fit.