Make sure you add the cost of tuition insurance to the projected expenses, and yes, I’m being serious.
I have known LOTS of kids who “stepped back”, took time off, asked to leave, withdrew- whatever the particular circumstance and euphemism was and in zero cases was it about not being “college ready” intellectually. Virtually all of them had to do with some flavor of EF– parents take notwithstanding.
It is hard to be objective about your own kid, but you need to have a clear eye about disability centers, tutoring and all that. Kids who can’t wake up for a 9 am class don’t need tutoring- they need to recognize that their roommate is not mom and is not going to get them ready in the morning. Kids who assume that their professor will “let the deadline slide” because Dad was on good terms with the chem professor and could usually make a phone call or email for “sliding” deadlines in HS don’t need a disability center. They need a reality check. Dad does not go to college with you.
A good start is to stop whatever scaffolding you are doing. Time for a dentist appointment- send a calendar invite to the kid’s phone “dentist appointment time”. Kid can look up the phone number of the dentist, make the call, remember to ask “do I need the insurance card?” if you have insurance, or remember to bring the credit card if the policy is “payment after service”. The stakes are low here. And then higher stakes- finals are coming. That means lots of multi-tasking and sorting and sequencing. What better way to learn than right now. Mom doesn’t drive the forgotten problem set to school. Dad doesn’t take over the kid’s Tuesday chores because the chem final is on Wednesday and kid doesn’t have time to wash dishes after dinner and take out the garbage.
You’ve got time. And if things fall apart around February of freshman year- that’s why I suggest tuition insurance.
Congratulations to your D on increasing her SAT score by 130 points!
You’ve got Wellesley, Smith, and Bryn Mawr, but no Mount Holyoke, so that is one I would add for consideration. For a mid-sized reach/unlikely, perhaps Tufts? Did she check out College of the Holy Cross when she saw Clark? For a likely that’s closer to mid-sized, Ithaca is worth considering. I’d also add Hobart William Smith, Muhlenberg, and St. Lawrence to the likelies. When visiting Case Western, did she visit John Carroll (a likely)? With Kenyon on there, were Oberlin and Denison considered? Maybe Vassar or Washington & Lee for the reach/unlikelies?
I have a feeling you may have seen some of these during you whirlwind spring break trip:
And…you did! If you can give some feedback on why she did/didn’t care for some of the schools, that will help folks with recommendations.
We’ve been avoiding schools with religious history/structure so hadn’t added Mount Holyoke but will think about that one. Tufts has always seemed so grade focused that I just assumed her grades would make that a place that wouldn’t even be worth a blindfolded throw of the dart. But all things equal it’s worth a shot I guess - we’ve visited with our oldest, and it has a nice school spirit and is a great place for STEM. Ithaca was on my list as a possibility, but worry that it won’t have enough STEM opportunities for her. Oberlin we visited and for reasons I don’t understand, and she can’t really explain, she determinedly struck it from her list. Denison is on our list as a place that we visited and liked what we saw - but I think it might be a little more business/outcomes focused than “education for education’s sake” as a feeling on campus. There was a quote there to the effect of “we don’t want this to be your best four years”. . . but rather to set you up to have your best life or something like that, so not entirely sure about the fit for her. But it had a great campus feel and was in a lovely community. Vassar dropped off our list when the coach said her GPA was too low for recruiting (i suspect it’s not a good fit either). Washington & Lee I have as a maybe - we aren’t really looking south, and I tend to think of it as having a slightly conservative student body bent. Is that wrong? I know Skidmore’s President hailed from there and I think the world of him so if he had a hand in shaping anything there it’s worth a look. In terms of the other schools on our list, Union she liked despite a very strange tour guide, and she might be recruited to play there. SUNY Geneseo is one we didn’t get to visit, but I think as a matter of student body mix, she wants something more mixed than predominently NY student based (I think it’s like 70% in state). I think I mentioned somewhere, but she loved Kenyon and i’ve seen both them and Brandeis on a list of “splitter” schools that don’t mind a lower GPA if the SATs are higher. So thinking she may have a greater chance there. My worry about Kenyon is writing is her weakest ability, so growth mindset would say…this is a great place to address that. . . but it also means it will be a harder road for her with greater baked in struggle.
In case it’s helpful as to Denison, my son graduated in 2023, and his experience was very much “education for education’s sake.” I think that many students and their parents want to see that a school will prepare them for a future career, and Denison has responded by putting in place the various and impressive resources it offers towards that end and making sure potential applicants are aware of them. But my son managed to spend four years without even visiting the Knowlton career center other than in his role as a campus guide and went straight into graduate school. I don’t think his case is at all unusual. Denison has a really terrific president in Adam Weinberg. Here is his letter to the incoming first-years last year: Welcome to the Denison Class of 2029 | President Speeches | Denison University
For someone contemplating college sports, especially with STEM interests, it is worth understanding a school’s class scheduling and coach expectations. Similar to @tkoparent–my kid was an athlete at Denison and, while he was not a science kid with labs, many of his teammates were. Classes ended around 4pm, including labs, so that students could participate in other activities, whether that is getting to practice at 4:30, getting into the art studio to work on a piece, etc.
Another consideration is what the conference travel schedule is like – for instance, UAA (Brandeis) schools are far more spread out with a different sort of travel than NCAC (Denison, Kenyon, Wooster) or Centennial (Dickinson, F&M) Conference schools.
But read the policy and check what is covered. I used it for one of my son’s freshman year, but had to have medical documentation of his mental health issues (which I suspected might happen when I took out the insurance, it was only around $300 for the semester).
Of course. Always read what’s covered. My dentist is now hawking some new insurance plan… can’t get away from the messaging. In reading the fine print, it seems like a great thing for a small segment of the population, a break-even for people like me based on my needs, and a total rip-off for a lot of people.
For tuition plans, it’s hard (and scary) to try and think of what could go wrong…. but many kids with various EF deficits have a hard time with both the sequencing/calendar/organizational parts of college as well as “Adulting” independently. And because of that, they DON’T check the add/drop dates in advance, they DON’T make sure they understand the incomplete or W policies of their college, and they WON’T show up at office hours to get help from the professor when they are drowning. Perfect storm.
Actually if I had known about tuition insurance I would’ve purchased it for my older son as well, even though he wouldn’t have had needed it. He was EF nightmare, senior year I completely let him manage everything, waking up, I didn’t check his portal (he struggled with handing things in on time, mis, mis, mis…). When he was about to graduate college, part of me wondered if he was actually graduating (and then COVID happened, so it was a virtual graduation). To this day I have no idea his college gpa (HS was 3.4). I ever once asked.
Mount Holyoke has no religious affiliation that I am aware of (general awareness, College Navigator, and source). And in case that was part of the reticence about St. Lawrence, it’s not a Catholic school. It was founded as a Universalist school in the 1850s, its Universalist seminary closed over 60 years ago, and I don’t believe it has any religious affiliation (source and College Navigator for religious affiliation). And Hobart William Smith has no religious affiliation either (per College Navigator).
I used this source to look at the undergrad institutions of people who earned a doctorate between 2010-2023, and this is how Ithaca fared amongst some New York institutions:
Biology: 72. For reference, Barnard had 84, Skidmore 81, Hamilton 65, Union 55
Chemistry: 32. For reference, Hamilton had 31, Barnard had 31, Union had 29, and Colgate 27, and Skidmore 18.
Math: 8. For reference, Hamilton had 19, Colgate 14, Vassar 13, Union 12, and Skidmore 8.
Physics: 12. For reference, Vassar had 31, Union 19, Barnard 15, Hamilton 14, and Skidmore 4.
Though there’s no need for your D to go on to get a doctorate, it appears as though Ithaca has prepared students sufficiently who are interested in doing that. Plus, if Ithaca College doesn’t have enough for your D, there’s another school in Ithaca a little over a mile away where she can cross-register for classes.
Just as an FYI (since I was looking at the doctoral results for Ithaca), here are those same STEM doctoral fields for Geneseo:
Biology: 137
Chemistry: 49
Math: 38
Physics: 48
Liberty League (in which Skidmore, Union, and Ithaca play) is another one where she may want to take a closer look at the schools, like Hobart William Smith and St. Lawrence.