<p>LazyBum, I’m so impressed with your son and his achievements, but perhaps you might consider the perception issue, as well.</p>
<p>mizzou-mom wrote: “WHY does an 8 year old child need advertising? Is he looking for sponsors? Let the kid be a kid.”</p>
<p>As I shared above, I don’t suspect the boy needs advertising. If he gets out of the house and plays (like our son started playing piano and organ at a local retirement home when he was 7 and stayed on there once a week till he moved out of state for graduate school at 14), people will hear him and good things will likely come. I don’t go for the “let the kid be a kid” mantra as my son explained to me years ago, “What other people think is a good life for a kid is not MY idea of a good life for ME” and I believe he is right, and for all we know, this boy IS leading the childhood HE wants for himself. So long as that is the case rather than his being forced by parents to spend hours a day at the piano or reading math books, I’m cool with it.</p>
<p>I’ve exchanged some private messages with someone here on the advertising topic and will copy and paste (and add a bit to it as I re-read) what I wrote in part here to further explain my “take” on the media and minors:</p>
<p>We could very easily have had our son in the media big time for numerous things (being admitted to college to start at age 8, actually starting college at 9, earning a dual degree at age 13 - as that’s something I haven’t heard of anyone else doing though my guess is others have and have similarly stayed mum about it, moving out on his own to graduate housing in another state at a top university at age 14 - again not something I’ve heard of any other child doing for <em>graduate school</em>, getting a master’s from a top university at age 16, being a doctoral student at a top university at age 16, etc.) and we’ve turned down all the big media requests and just allowed things we felt wouldn’t affect him much (like an interview about a talk our son gave in Germany with an Indian newspaper journalist before we learned it was India’s largest paper and had any clue it would be read by some coworkers of my husband’s, who I believe didn’t even know our son had a child till they read that article, and a TV interview at age 8 in FL, which is not the state in which we live so we figured nobody we knew would see it nor would any pedophiles know where to find our son, for his winning an all expenses paid trip to Disney World on account of his volunteer work, as we figured he can help inspire other children to volunteer in their communities but he can’t inspire children to be able to do things like ace college calculus at age 9 or give rather well done presentations to a group of adults as young as age 8 as most kids don’t have the ability - far as we can tell - to do calculus that young nor do they have the poise to give public presentations that are well received that young). And our son has been aching to be in the media, so turning down offer after offer was not something our son was thrilled about, though he also accepted that we are his parents and had to make the final call in this area.</p>
<p>When our son was 9 and the president of the university introduced him to the woman in charge of scholarships at his alma mater, she noted that if our son was to accept a scholarship, we would have to sign something saying they could use his name in publicity for the university. We refused to sign any such document as we wanted our son to stay out of the media and were willing to just pay the tuition if we had to in order to maintain privacy (and he got the scholarship $, anyway, so where other parents of young students signed that form, they really didn’t need to, though the university also still put our son on the university home page a year after our son was there and they no doubt figured he wouldn’t leave if they did that, but they took it down after we contacted them about how we were promised to have no media coverage). But when my son heard me telling the woman we wanted no media coverage, he said, “Why won’t you let me be in the media?”</p>
<p>I explained, “Because being in the media opens up a can of worms.”</p>
<p>And he said, “Well, you know what happens when you open a can of worms, right?”</p>
<p>I said no, having no idea what he meant.</p>
<p>And he said, “You catch fish! If you allow me to be in the media, I could have so many more opportunities!”</p>
<p>And I told him the same thing I told the NYT reporter (who I suspect the president told where I hung out in the student union while waiting for my son to get out of class) when she said, “Don’t you realize how other parents would give their right arm for the opportunity I am giving your son?”:</p>
<p>“You have (well, for the NYT journalist, I said “Our son has”) more opportunities than you can use as it is and so you don’t need yet more opportunities.”</p>
<p>And to this day, he has way more opportunities than he can take advantage of and it’s a problem as he often over commits, wanting to do more than he can do (at least with how much time he spends hanging out with friends and IMing when not with them in person).</p>
<p>Our son will turn 18 in 2009 and then it will be up to him as to what he does regarding the media. In the meanwhile, I explained to him that even if <em>he</em> is comfortable being in the media, his <em>parents</em> are not, and thus he should respect our feelings just as we take into account his feelings about things and try to bend to meet him as best we can, but that this was an area where we felt he should be the one to “just wait” rather than for us to be dragged into the media with him (as it was, I was dragged in a few times and <em>hated</em> it as I at least once put my foot in my mouth by saying something about how I really appreciate that he is such a nice/fun/whatever-it-was kid as not all kids are). Lots of people over the years have also urged me to write a book on our son, my son included as he suspects it could help other families, but I feel it would help rather few families as no two children are exactly alike and what worked well for him could totally not work for other children…I could more see such a book just being an interesting read for some other families, and once our son is 18, if he still wants such a book to be published by me, then maybe I’ll consider it. In the meanwhile, I remain uneasy with media attention for minors, especially if it seems like dog and pony show type stuff (like reciting the digits of pi, for example…it never rubbed me the wrong way that some kids did that till so many adults complained about that being a “show” for some kids and now I’ve been “tainted” on that one myself), and so prefer to let such “opportunities” go but with rare exception.</p>
<p>owlice, what is an RKA?</p>
<p>And can anyone tell me if you can make the system here not boot you off to login again every few minutes, and I have to login in again even when I tried to do that one line post there with it having been not even one minute having passed since I posted last. Granted, maybe they are trying to stop me from posting as much or as often, and if that’s it, so be it. But if there is anyway to modify the time one can take between posting before having to login again, I’d appreciate knowing it, and send thanks in advance to anyone who can provide that information.</p>
<p>zoosermom, I got the feeling you didn’t like my posts from an earlier post of yours I read today where you kindly didn’t let on which poster you meant, and am sorry you (and no doubt others) don’t like my style, but I am actually not concerned about people online who don’t know our son <em>nor</em> me in real life having a negative impression of me due to my sharing things I think <em>could</em> be helpful to <em>some</em> people (and plenty have PMed me to say they read every post and love them and are getting a lot from them, even if they also likely understand there are those who don’t support me and don’t want to get on their bad side and so send their appreciation privately). I’ll sacrifice my reputation online if I feel it will help even one other child or parent.</p>
<p>But thanks all the same for letting me know your concern about me rubbing people the wrong way.</p>
<p>LazyBum, it has nothing to with your life or experience. As I said, I admire your son and your obvious skill in handling his special needs. However, I find your posts just too darn long, which makes them very hard to read visually. You also have a way of sometimes taking over a thread. You are much to be admired and your experience is extremely valuable, but have mercy!!!</p>
<p>RKA = Ruined Keyboard Alert</p>
<p>That is, what curmudgeon should offer before he posts something screamingly funny that will make the coffee I have just sipped land on the keyboard (or screen). </p>
<p>Some of the posters here are the ruination of hardware! :D</p>
<p>“Anyway, I just think devoting all of one’s life to a child is going to be really tough on a parent when the child someday grows up and moves out. The parent will lose their “job” (for those who consider the child a FT job) and their child both at once.”</p>
<p>Nailed that one on the head. I have done this for 18 years and now have no sence of self. I have been a single parent for this entire time, I should have devoted some time to “me”. My job is gone, my self is gone, I now need to rebuild it at 50.
I would not give it up for anything, however, I would balance things. Should of could of would of…</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>owlice, had never heard that before…did you make the RKA abbreviation up yourself? It’s a good one.</p>
<p>marite
Quirky people are not in high tech management? Not my experience in Redmond, Bellevue and the Portland area.</p>
<p>As for having a life, my definition is pretty simple. Do you do active stuff? Do you have a bunch of friends? Are you interested in the world around you?</p>
<p>I wonder how more reading, math and science stuff your son did/does compared the bear? I didn’t stop when I discovered she was very talented in math and enjoyed the sciences. I kept exposing her to new things to see what other talents and interests she had. As she learned to do this exploration herself I backed off and supported her.</p>
<p>My goals for raising her were/are simple. Find her talents and nurture them. “Reviving Ophelia” self esteem stuff? Not happening if I can help it. Find active things she likes so she stays fit. Encourage her social development so she has lots of friends and could interact with adults at an early age.</p>
<p>I ended up with daughter like the girls in Harvard psychologist Dan Kindlon’s book “Alpha Girls Understanding the New American Girl and How She Is Changing the World”.</p>
<p>pofb:</p>
<p>So which argument are you making? First you said that quirky people cannot make it into upper levels of management and now you say they can? </p>
<p>Your definition of having a life is your own. It does not have to be anyone else’s. Each person ought to be free to live his or her life as s/he sees fit unless that person is a menace to others.</p>
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<p>I won’t discuss my S further except to say that no one need worry about him. We don’t.</p>
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<p>No. Picked it up on the NYTimes forums (Books forums, now gone) years ago. I have always thought it a little stilted or some such, but haven’t found a suitable replacement for the warning that should accompany some people’s wickedly funny one-liners.</p>
<p>“Beverage Alert” is the one I’ve heard. But obviously it’s not as snappy! :)</p>
<p>**And can anyone tell me if you can make the system here not boot you off to login again every few minutes, and I have to login in again even when I tried to do that one line post there with it having been not even one minute having passed since I posted last. Granted, maybe they are trying to stop me from posting as much or as often, and if that’s it, so be it. But if there is anyway to modify the time one can take between posting before having to login again, I’d appreciate knowing it, and send thanks in advance to anyone who can provide that information.
LazyBum201 is offline **</p>
<p>LazyBum201, glad to know I’m not the only one unable to post my response because I have been kicked off!
Worse yet, I then clicked the back key only to discover that my ‘words of wisdom’ were gone. That doesn’t always happen, just twice so far, but now I’m wary, so I save my comments before I hit ‘reply to post’ in this manner:<br>
I hit ‘control a’, which highlights in the box, then control, c which copies, and then if I do lose my response, I log back in, then go to the blank box and hit control, v and my comments reappear. Ahhhhhh.</p>
<p>Wish I knew how to lengthen the time as I am long-winded, then have to go back and start pruning, and by the time I’m ready to submit, I have been kicked off.</p>
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<p>Oh, I’ve been using control A and C for <em>years</em> to save my posts before trying to submit them. With the PM here, I sometimes have to break the text into multiple emails, too, which bugs me, but supports z’s telling me I write too much. It’s not that I’m losing my words, as I’m not - I’m just having to go to more work than I’d like to post them (remember, I am a lazy bum).</p>
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<p>Hey, at least you prune. Z would like me to do that, but I just feel I spend so much time writing the thing that I’d have no time for “life” if I went back and edited everything to shorten stuff. It’s like my 12th grade English teacher used to say:</p>
<p>If I had more time, I’d write less.</p>
<p>LOL @ the website…the dad basically typed it up on Word then pasted it on the site and added a picture.</p>
<p>Hey LazyBum, kudoes to you for taking my comments with good humor. Impressive.</p>
<p>I like you, zoosermom (sorry for being lazy in just typing Z before, as I really was just being lazy rather than trying to be funny, but hey, I think I <em>will</em> call you Z from now on if you don’t mind to make my posts however little shorter!). Being that I like you, I wouldn’t take your comments with anything other than a good dose of contemplation and good humor. But I also can’t take credit where it isn’t due, and wasn’t even trying to be funny before. You’ll know it when I am, as it’s usually a pathetically <em>bad</em> joke (just ask my husband or son). I’m funniest when I have no idea what I’ve said, trust me. You should see the Facebook quotes my son has of mine - it’s a bit embarrassing.</p>
<p>LazyBum, I’d be delighted to answer to Z. It seems so, swashbuckling! I can’t tell you how much I respect and admire your out-and-out niceness. I really am impressed.</p>
<p>For you to respond to my request to shorten your posts by shortening my name is funny and clever on many different levels. </p>
<p>Oh, and you know what? I had it in my mind that you were the dad. Had I realized that you were the mom, I probably would have approached you differently. I shouldn’t be sexist, but I am. I have much less patience for men. </p>
<p>The joke’s totally on me!</p>
<p>Now, Z, are <em>men</em> ever lazy bums? ;)</p>
<p>Seriously, I wonder how often people mistake me for a male. I figure my posts are so long, people would think I am a female, as don’t females <em>tend</em> to write way more than males? Or is my sexism off? And now that I am writing short posts, does this mean I am headed for a sex change? 
I am doing an “Oh, nooooo, Mr. Bill” face right now. :O</p>
<p>Oh, and Z, thanks for the compliments, and one more thing, if I can add some more words, should you have concluded I was female from my mentioning having a husband? Don’t some states allow two men to marry now? But you did guess right. At least until the virtual sex change takes place once I have written my 100th short post, I guess.</p>