Math Whiz but no other subjects or friends?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Did I say it detracts from the achievement? No.</p>

<p>I said touting it as a “perfect” score, since it isn’t, is reprehensible.</p>

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You have obviously mistaken the target of some criticisms here to be on the kid, rather than the parents. No one is blaming the kid. We are blaming the parents for the pressure to concentrate solely on math and music while ignoring all other aspects of life and learning; suffice it to say this kid probably has what it takes to succeed without having to give up humanities and whatever else the parents are refusing to teach him.</p>

<p>The success of this kid will also not be an indication of America’s success in the math and sciences. The top kids in the US are always among the top kids in the world. It’s average education in which we fall behind, and such a parental approach would never pass as an acceptable solution to that problem.</p>

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<p>Marite, look at the web site. The choice to homeschool with a focus on math and music… the branding of the child as an “All-American Genius” on the web site, and the devotion of 4 paragraphs to bragging about the AP score (which he prepped intensively for over a period of 5 months) - is something very different. If these parents get criticism it is because they have made the decision to promote their child as if he were a product and not a person.</p>

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<p>marite, I am making no judgment on his mathwhizzness. I assume that he is. Good for him. I also assume his parents love him. But even given these assumptions, the article is still stomach turning to me.</p>

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<p>Well … I have a kid who is not Magnus but he is definitely a nerd with very specific interests and some tremendous strengths. He has had one friend in his life … once in third grade for a few months (he will be entering 8th). Yes it is sad. He attends the local public school though he is both bored and stressed (because of the repetitiveness) and so is around other kids all of the time. He wants friends but gets along best with adults because they are predictable and more forgiving of his quirks. </p>

<p>Future depression is always on my mind so though he is not getting the educational stimulation he needs at the moment, he is learning to get along in the “normal” world. Yes he was bullied for years and finally in 6th grade he stood up for himself and they have not bothered him since.</p>

<p>Since many things come so easily, I am having to teach him “sticktoitevness” (sp?) when faced with a subject he does not enjoy.</p>

<p>Now this kills me but the truth … he is getting his social skills on the web playing World of Warcraft. In a non threatening way, without having to face people or direct humiliation, he is making the mistakes and growing by joining various groups and participating … though electronically … he is learning leadership skills. No one knows your age etc. It has been a real education for me …I even hate the TV!</p>

<p>He says its great to be treated like a normal person … nothing special.</p>

<p>I worry about Magnus down the road … I feel as though he is being set up for disaster. He is not a performing robot but a child. </p>

<p>Gifted education in this country is not where it should be so homeschooling fills the gaps but most parents are not educators … as evidenced in the article.</p>

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<p>I have tremendous sympathy for parents who are trying to meet the needs of a PG kid. But the advertising part is truly creepy.</p>

<p>EmeraldKitty, good points!</p>

<p>BTW, lots of kids express an interest in a foreign language at 8 or even earlier. I remember being interested in learning Spanish when I was probably about 4 or 5, and I taught myself to count to ten and that kind of thing. Of course, it never occurred to my parents to find me a Spanish tutor, and frankly I wish they had. It would have been great to learn the language at that age.</p>

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<p>A high majority of the highly gifted kids have learning differences …they are called “Twice Special” … there are zillions of web sites. Amazing brilliance usually comes with some significant deficits. So do you subject them to the world like I am doing, trying to get them ready for life or do you shelter them and allow them to develop their abilities …? I still do not know the answer but I do know my son’s intelligence is not going anywhere and he can now function in our world and starting in HS he will begin to thrive (I hope!).</p>

<p>Depression is unfortunately too common in this crowd.</p>

<p>So give every nerd you know a big hug of confidence.</p>

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<p>Sounds like he’s finding his own way just fine. </p>

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<p>Consider him hugged.;)</p>

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<p>It’s so much easier to mock parents of gifted kids than to celebrate the kids.</p>

<p>Sorry to puncture your balloon kryptonsa, but in regular speech a score of 5 is a perfect score. </p>

<p>MQD: I had this tussle with myself. I knew myself incapable of homeschooling because I just do not have the patience. But often I thought my child would be much happier if he could be more advanced and learn at his own pace. High school was only marginally better, and only because he could take college classes.<br>
Not all gifted kids are social creatures. Our nephew has borderline Aspergers and ADD. He could work at computers all day. He went to a computer camp, loved the classes, and did not make any friends. He just finished his first year in college and did very well.</p>

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<p>Uhm, I know a young child at this level (perfect score on Math SAT at very young age, beating out national-calibur math competitors at competitions, etc.). He is well-adjusted, has friends, and his parents encourage him to spend time with people his own age. Does he have as much in common with them as he does adults? Not really. But it’s a matter of growing up to be minimally functional in a social setting. I myself am considered gifted/“genius” according to IQ test results, and am myself a very social being. I still like spending time with adults more, but I have found friends who enjoy the same things I do and also went through gifted programs, etc. It doesn’t sound like Magnus is unable to make friends. It sounds like his parents have locked up what they disgustingly consider their show dog in their basement, preventing him from seeing the light of day. There’s a huge difference. That level of intelligence does not come hand-in-hand with social deficiencies. </p>

<p>That being said, the parents are revolting. Who treats their child like some dog, whose successes they force upon him and then advertise, presumably as evidence of their successful parenting (why else would they not refer questions to him and boast about him so strongly)? Magnus is gifted, and deserves to be treated with way more respect than what his parents afford him. </p>

<p>By the way, he is quite gifted, but I think that his “genius” title is a bit overblown on the part of his parents. A 5 on the AP is impressive, but I know kids in 5th grade who have completed Calculus. It’s not rare enough to justify all this press, in my opinion. Also, no one calls a 5 a “perfect score.” I have never heard that term used for APs. You just say that you got a 5 or 4 or whatever. He is quite a good pianist, but again, his talent is shared by many at a similar or higher level. The emotion just doesn’t seem to be there. I am no piano critic (although I do play), but again, there are many kids his age who are able to do what he does.</p>

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<p>My son, who is not an academic genius, has to attend public school and wishes that he didn’t have to take English as it just doesn’t interest him. Apparently, it is ok if you are home schooled? Doesn’t he have to take yearly exams for the state in all the basic subjects?</p>

<p>I agree with Curmudgeon that the dad really turns me off, knowing how to advertise his son is not something he should be proud of. Bicycling 40-50 miles a week on trails? Perhaps he should try bicycling around the neighborhood and meet some kids at the park!</p>

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<p>Marite …</p>

<p>My son was diagnosed with Asperger’s and manifests itself in ADD type behavior … same thing happen this summer with my son and his computer camp. </p>

<p>Curiously, what college is your nephew attending? I am looking at HSs because our local public is not recommended for my son … so I am projecting forward a few years. Many colleges seem to “get it” as my son would say. But I am not sure about hs.</p>

<p>Baelor … I completely agree about the “dog” comments. I am hoping someone will get to the parents to help them understand how to parent their child properly. Limiting his education is a huge mistake.</p>

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<p>curmudgeon … consider your hug gladly accepted … we will pass it on and keep giving them to all nerds you see!</p>

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<p>MQD, I’ll do so gladly. D has no trouble adopting the nerd mantle herself. ;)</p>

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<p>Fabulous … well I hope my son meets a D like yours someday. It is quite a badge of honor in our area!</p>

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<p>The website is creepy. Showng maps so we can be impressed by how far he ride, showing test booklets as some sort of proof.</p>

<p>And I know he is only 8, but watching him answer questions, was truely painful.</p>

<p>You can nuture the “genius” while at the same time nuturing the little boy, they do not have to be mutually exclusive, as these parent seem to think it is.</p>

<p>Again, there are some amazing programs out there that can help this boy blossom.</p>

<p>When I was little I did a program at a science museum, taking classes is just not enough, and while homeschooling is understandble, from what I have read, most homeschoolers, whose parents"get it", don’t isolate their children and do all they can to really get them doing things with other kids their age.</p>

<p>And no matter how smart you are and how many math equations or shakepeare quotes you can remember, you need to play, need to get dirty, need to mess up, need to be with others your age, and part of bringing up a child is teaching them how to interact. If he can’t talk to other kids beyond his math forumlas, then its up to his parents to find ways to give him opportunites to talk about other things- go to the movies, the theater, baseball games, do volunteer work- (I had a friend with a very shy but smart daughter, volunteering at the local food bank, sorting fruit with total strangers, touching icky stuff, etc, she just exploded in smiles and laughter, because you didn’t know who was there and why, just that we all had a mutual desire to help, she didn’t have to be “on”, just a person deciding whether the peach was edible)</p>

<p>I know its hard to have kids that test off the charts, but la child is more than that, much more more. And this little boys parents need to see that, and if it takes some people to say that to them, then they should.</p>

<p>The press covering this, argh, seemed so clueless.</p>

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<p>Including the adult ones? It’s possible mom and dad might fall into this category. And I do not mean this unkindly. Nerdy children do often grow up into nerdy adults. Perhaps they deserve hugs too, rather than all this condemnation? ;)</p>

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<p>MQD: I sent you a PM.</p>

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<p>Well, I must agree that “I’m very good at advertising him” or “no-friends” part do leave very strange taste in my mouth… On the other hand, that taste may be the result of the (mis)interpretation given in the article. The kid is socializing with members of his mother’s friends’ families, do they include kids? Magnus may not consider them his <em>friends</em>, but he may have plenty of peers for games and fun… And what does this mean: “His parents are hopeful that Magnus can qualify” for the AMC?? Any homeschooler can come to a neighboring school or a library and take AMC, as long as he paid for the registration and found an adult to supervise him; there are no qualifying requirements. They have no English or History in the kid’s schedule? Well, lots of unschoolers don’t have a schedule at all. It does not mean the kid is not exposed to these subjects… The question is, does he read? Is he free to choose books from the library? I can assure you, a typical 8 y.o. PG kid who reads for pleasure is getting much more than his age peers are getting from a typical elementary school. Anyway, it looks like the parents are planning to enroll him to EPGY distance school, although it’s also not clear from the wording in this article…</p>

<p>Too many important details are left out; and Carol Schorn does not make an impression she is competent in gifted education and/or homeschooling and/or Math. I agree, the article is laughable and I believe it does disservice to the family.</p>

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<p>5th graders are usually 11 not 8. If the kid was in a regular school, he would be in 2nd or 3rd grade.</p>

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<p>If you look at the website,it is very clear how they are advertising him, to me anyway. If in doubt go to the source. I did, and that is why the article rings true.</p>