<p>I like that expression “acted self.” </p>
<p>My H & I are both introverts (he’s INTJ & I’m INTP) and our D1 is also introverted. Our D2 is, compared to us at least, extroverted but she is shy.</p>
<p>Perhaps because small-talk skills have never come naturally to me, I’ve made a conscious and concerted effort to teach them to my daughter who is an introvert and used to be quite shy. She’s now 19 and does great in most social situations involving small talk. </p>
<p>I think the best small talk skill is learning how to turn a superficial conversation into a deep one so it is no longer small talk. </p>
<p>I don’t know if this has anything to do with introversion, but I have an especially hard time with small talk in noisy environments with lots of distractions. I have to focus extremely intently on the person I’m talking to. </p>
<p>I’m a natural introvert so I get my energy from being alone, but that doesn’t mean I’m shy or that I spend a lot of time on solitary activities. I’m currently serving on two community committees and will be speaking at luncheons for both of them this weekend. I’ll be friendly, and chatty, and energetic. Then I’ll come home and take a quiet walk, or a bike ride, or sit by the pool with a good book to recharge. </p>
<p>In high school, I was the same way. Most of my teachers knew me fairly well because I wasn’t shy about chatting with adults. I played sports, held leadership positions, wrote weekly features for our school paper, and helped lead several clubs. I had no problem getting LORs, and I suspect many of today’s young people who are classic introverts won’t have any trouble either. </p>
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<p>I have similar issues as an extrovert. However, a large part of that is trying to teach myself to turn the small talk into more deeper conversations and learning how to get others involved in the conversation to make the conversation much more interesting/engaging. </p>
<p>My main issue is a lot of small talk, especially at parties tends to be insipidly boring and dull with an occasional implicitly requested impromptu therapy session tossed in*. </p>
<p>Fortunately, having a large variety of interests in many things…especially music, history, and occasionally technology has helped me subtly redirect such conversations into much more interesting territory. </p>
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<li>Never understood why some strangers…especially some women IME seem eager to tell me about all the bad things happening in their lives…especially in odd occasions like a social party or worse…first dates.<br></li>
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<p>I would take them divulging those things to you as a compliment Cobrat! 
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