OP- hug to you.
Once you are in the right headspace, there is a really powerful tool waiting for you.
Instead of beating yourself up or drowning in sad thoughts- ask yourself, “What was it about BS that got me excited- and now that I know I’m not going, what can I do here, right where I live, to bring some of that into my life?”
For a lot of people, they don’t really and truly invest in where they are or what they are doing if they’ve got one foot out the door. That goes for romantic relationships, jobs, and yes, schoolwork and extra-curricular activities.
So what was it about the BS experience that resonated with you— and what can your next step be in your actual, current life? Are there people around you that you don’t know well-- and haven’t bothered developing friendships because you thought you were moving on? Are there mentors and teachers and adults in your orbit that you’ve always figured “nah, not him” or “she’s a lightweight” that you might want to reconsider? Are there activities you haven’t wanted to get involved in- not because they aren’t inherently interesting, but because you figured “I’m heading for bigger and better things”?
Now’s your chance. Despite what you may think, adult life is FILLED with disappointments of all kinds. The happy people you know (or read about) aren’t happy because everything goes their way and everything always works out the way they want it to. They are happy because they use every disappointment and rejection and fear “why is this happening to me” to figure out how to make their real life- today, tomorrow life, not year-- so much better.
It will work. Give yourself a couple of days to feel bad and then come back and tell us why you wanted BS and maybe we can help you capture some of that right where you are.