My daughter got $60k+ in lax athletic money (plus $80k in academic merit from the school). No way did I spend more than $5-7k for her playing from age 7 to high school, including 3 years of club teams, and most of that was jr year of high school. She did have a friend who spent $10k/yr on lax but she did not even apply for athletic scholarships. It can be done but doesn’t have to be.
I considered the money I spent to be the same as paying for piano lessons or girl scouts or being on the swim team - it was not money spent to go to college but to prepare her for life. It was her EC.
When my daughter was applying for her job after college, the only thing they wanted to talk about was her lax experience, her being a captain, how she stayed organized with college sports. When she was in the recent tournament, her office mates watched her play (it was on ESPN+), and her boss watched her on Sunday.
I’d not give up if OP’s daughter wants to do it. It will take some research and some compromise. Shes not going to get recruited to Syracuse or Maryland or Stanford, or to top D3 schools like Gettysburg or Middlebury. The 5C’s? Maybe, but it sounds like finances might not work out.
I would NOT pay a recruiting service. Find the schools you like with a program that might work and contact the coaches. My daughter did not make her first recruiting visit (D1 school) until July of (rising) senior year, and she had several offers by October. We were lucky that a dad from her high school team had recorded the games and gave us the footage and she’d played in a few club tourneys in the summer that recorded games that all college coaches had access to those (we would just say ‘look at game 122 at the 22 minute mark’). She organized all her stats, awards, grades, test scores, etc. for coaches. And then she just started contacting them. Many did say their teams were full but others were interested.