Mine is thank you; no problem. As in:
Partner one: Thank you for the wonderful physical experience we shared last night
Partner two: No problem
Both: giggles
Mine is the use of weary when the person means wary or leary.
I’ve had to accept that “no problem” has replaced “you’re welcome” and “it was my pleasure.” I have to swallow my desire to say, “Why should it be a problem for you to bring me my food, when it is your job to do so?”
“It’s” when it should be “its.” I can’t believe how often this mistake is made in publications.
I may get some push back on this one, but it just rubs me the wrong way:
Me: I’m sorry/Excuse me (by the way, am I the only one who even says this anymore?)
Other person: You’re fine.
Well, yes, I am fine. I never said I wasn’t fine. I’m just sorry I accidentally got in your way, etc.
My kids say it all the time. They tell me it rolls off the tongue more easily than “No problem” or “That’s ok”. I don’t see how that’s possible.
The worst one I’ve seen is “witch” instead of “which”. I’m not kidding. Do those people need an app on their iPhone to remind them to breathe? It makes the people who mix up they’re, their, and there look like Einsteins.
@Belle315 , that response makes sense when one is apologizing for being in the way, and the person is essentially saying “No, you’re fine where you are.” I think you are correct that it has spread, though.
“Their,” when you mean his or her. Apparently, this is ok in some usage, where some are sensitive to gender labels. I’ve used it on CC, but not IRL.
“The student submitted their essay.”
Early in my career, I used “No problem” to mean, “It is [or was] no trouble,” not “you’re welcome.” And “no problem” or “not a problem” doesn’t always mean “my pleasure.”
I confess to being one of those people who long ago succumbed to misusing “hopefully.” B-)
My mini rants! How many am I allowed?
Interchanging their for they’re or their for there or any combination thereof. A teacher at my son’s elementary school had weekly newsletters with this mistake.
Loose for lose.
Bring instead of take
Worst offender for me: Using I wrongly. I read a news item yesterday where some people wrote an apology letter to the restaurant for skipping out on the bill because they didn’t have cash. It began ‘My friend’s and I sincerest apologies…’ SMH, how does that make any grammatical sense?
Yes, you’re correct, @Consolation. The example of being in someone’s way could warrant a “You’re fine” response." It seems to be the default response to any type of mea culpa around here these days, and I guess it’s just a different way kind of acknowledgement. I don’t know why it bothers me, but it just does.
I thought that the use of “their” as a singular pronoun has grown out of the recognition that not everyone identifies as specifically male or female? My kids in college are being taught by their professors that “their” is acceptable in singular use when you aren’t sure how the antecedent self-identifies. But I wish we could come up with a less confusing alternative that makes everyone happy.
Does anyone else hear “welcome in” instead of “welcome” when you enter a store or a bank. How does that make any sense. The “in” is redundant and implied in the word welcome. It’s my latest pet peeve and I hear it ALL the time now.
I’ll admit to making the “they’re, their, and there” error at times here and elsewhere. I certainly know the difference but if I’m tired and posting or posting while distracted or attempting to multi-task, my stream of consciousness typing will result in a misuse sometimes.
It seems like the “Me and him” type stuff is becoming much more common than it used to, even among well educated people.
Another I see more frequently is “borrow me” instead of “lend me”.
The grammatical errors like that bother me more than mistaken homonyms.
The ‘off of’ thing drives me crazy! The other one that is very annoying is when people add an s to anyway.
We’ve discussed this before, and I have come to the reluctant conclusion that using “they” and “their” as the non-gendered singular pronoun is the best of the available options. It at least has the virtue of already being common in colloquial speech.
My high school French taught me that “de rien” or “il n’ya pas de quoi” are appropriate responses to “merci”. Both translate roughly to “nothing to it”, which isn’t that different from “no problem.” Don’t know whether the French are just rude or whether “no problem” is perfectly polite, but that one doesn’t bother me.
The one that really bothers me is based off of.
But the other one that really bothers me is that the news outlets don’t know what a suspect is.
No, the “suspect” didn’t break into the store and steal the cash drawer, the “suspect” didn’t sell the heroin, the “suspect” didn’t shoot his neighbor’s dog. The “perpetrator” did that. The “suspect” is the person the police suspect might be the perpetrator.
Aaahhhh, that feels better.
Also, different from. Or for the Brits, different to. Not different than. Bigger than, smaller than, dumber than, uglier than. Different from.
How about waiting on line vs. waiting in line or am I just going to piss off all the New Yorkers? 
Adding to the list: then/than
And using “amount” when “number” is called for seems to be everywhere these days, including reputable news sources. The distinction between the two seems to be disappearing.
agree with most of these–I really hate “based off” rather than “based on”–It’s a complete 180 (NOT 360!) for no particular reason.
The singular they’their has been accepted by usage gurus pretty much entirely, because it fills a need. Plus, we almost ALL use it that way colloquially.
I never understood the push back on “no problem” with the querulous “why WOULD there be a problem?” retort. Because the same could be said of “you’re welcome.”-- Why wouldn’t I be welcome???
if A affects B, B experiences the effect of A’s action
The tornado affected citizens within 40 miles of Austin. The effect of the tornado was devastating to Austin.
Feel better now…