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<p>The techniques you would use to try to protect your child against sexual abuse by strangers may not help to protect against sexual abuse by family members. Warning children about “stranger danger” does nothing to help them avoid being sexually abused by people they know well.</p>
<p>Marian, basically I hardly trusted anyone taking care of my son, especially before he could talk. Paranoid? My DH thought I was barking mad, but he hadn’t seen what I’d seen at work.</p>
<p>Yes, and that echoes Marian’s point–you know that, but most people are more watchful for the stereotypical white van come to lure their kids with candy, rather than what uncle perv is doing in the next room. And fuzzy statistics lead to that perception, I think.</p>
<p>Are we talking about missing children or abused children? These are not necessarily the same population, though there may be overlap that contributes to a parent taking a child underground to protect them. There was a big case here many years ago involving the “children of the underground”, and it got ugly.</p>
<p>When my kids were in elementary school, it came to the attention of the principal that one of the students had been taken from another state by his/her non-custodial parent and was there illegally, essentially as an abductee. We were all notified that the police would be coming to school that day to retrieve the child and arrest the parent. I don’t quite recall how it was presented to the other students (IIRC we were notified just after the polie came, so no one tipped off the parent/child) but I don’t recall any repurcussions for the other students. Could have been traumatic, but I think they handled it well.</p>
<p>When S#2 was small (maybe 4-5, can’t quite recall), we were returning from a trip out of town and I dropped DH and S#2 at the airport terminal (DS had to use the restroom) while S#1 and I were about to return the rental. Somehow S#2 and DH got separated in the crowded airport as I dropped them off. It was the scariest many minutes of my life, and I can feel my heart racing now as I type about it. I had to remember what he was wearing, find the police, get them to radio the other police in the airport, etc while DH was in the terminal looking for him. Fortunately DH found him within maybe 10 minutes, but the panic was unbelievable.</p>
<p>We’re talking about missing children. What happens to them while they’re missing is a whole other subject.</p>
<p>My point is that I don’t understand how, if a child is missing, the parents aren’t taking out full-page ads in the New York Times and posting information on billboards around the entire country in order to find their child. I don’t understand why these missing children aren’t publicized more.</p>
<p>bethie, that’s makes me a little sad. Nothing wrong with it as obviously you’ve seen horrific things, but I hope not to let my work make me paranoid. I too work with abused children- moreso their moms but definitely children as well. I see children burned, beaten, scarred, everything you could horrifically think of. But I hope not to let that make me suspicious of all men. </p>
<p>I never really had the stranger-danger talk from my parents. I think it’s one of the reasons I have very little fear in other areas. I do wonder what the long-term effects of this overprotectiveness is on children. We are so conditioned to looking for danger, even though crime rates are overall going down, that I really wonder what it does to our psyche. Hm.</p>
<p>“I wonder how the study “knows” it was only 115”</p>
<p>Because the stats are compiled by a little outfit called the FBI.</p>
<p>Why not contact them and express your concern?</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/kidnap[/url]”>www.fbi.gov/wanted/kidnap</a></p>
<p>One thing all women and children should be taught is never get in the car. Even if you are shown a weapon do not get in the car. Run and scream as loud as you can but never let someone get you in the car.</p>
<p>Men are kidnapped and murdered, too. This is not a woman and children only thing. </p>
<p>So let’s revise- all PEOPLE should be taught is never get in the car…</p>
<p>I think the point is that while non-custodial parent abduction is certainly bad, you know if you’re at risk for that if you are divorced and not getting along well. So it’s not a relevant fear for most people. That’s not discounting the pain it causes.</p>
<p>^^^Thank you for this information.</p>