Missing Yale Student -- So Sad

Parent Cafe
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<p>There are an estimated 50-100 million women and girls missing worldwide. In most cases, no authorities are looking for them. Only family and friends care.</p>

<p>Here, we have woman and girls missing daily, hourly, woman abused, beaten, prositutes were slaughtered, women in a town in mexico just disapear.</p>

<p>Yet our media cares when its a yale college student, or a white girl in the caribien. And CC often mirrors that societal disconnect- a global disconnect.</p>

<p>I don’t teach my daughters to live in fear, but they have taken gorilla self defence classes. I just get sad when attention only gets paid to thoes that are missing or killed that have some sor to of “hook”- something glamorous to the pres, while other women and girls situations are ignored.</p>

<p>I have college girls, they live in a supposedly dodgey area, they go to NYC all the time, so yeah, I get the feelings. I just wish that the worlds attention would go toward the other tens of millions of women who just don’t seem to matter. To societies who condone honor slayings, to pay attention to countries that don’t even let their girls go to school, to nations that institutionalize abuse for girls.</p>

<p>DId you hear about the 12 year old girl who died in child birth after being married off to a middle aged man for a dowry?</p>

<p>Or the woman thrown in jail for wearing pants?</p>

<p>Or the woman who was beaten by the government for having sex?</p>

<p>Or the child prostitutes in Thailand?</p>

<p>Or the girls who are circumsized?</p>

<p>Or the young women at are in deadly sweatshops?</p>

<p>They don’t make the news, but a young yale student does. Its not right that so many are ignored. Its not right that we go for the glitzy cases. Its not right that we as a society just care about our own and don’t talk about those that have no one to talk for them.</p>

<p>SO yeah, I get the horror of this case. I get the fear. i get it.</p>

<p>I just wish women would get that this happens daily, hourly, and worse, to women and girls all over the world, all the time, but few care, cause its not “one of our own”</p>

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We women do get this. I think we are all aware of all those things. What I don’t get is why you think we should ignore the awfulness of this “yale college” student’s death. What do you want, that because all these horrible things happen all over the world, we should treat her like just another name on a list? How is ignoring this woman’s death going to help all the others on your list?</p>

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<p>They certainly make the news (the examples you gave) as that is how you/we know about them. They are also just as tragic. </p>

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<p>As mentioned previously, we do get that this happens every day and all over the world. Please stop assuming that few care or that those on this thread do not care. This thread is discussing THIS case that is in the news now. As other cases are in the news, the same level of sorrow is felt. Caring or discussing this case should not make one conclude that we don’t care about the other ones. Further, it has been pointed out to you by several here that this is a college forum made up of parents of college or grad school students. This case relates to us on that level. Speaking for myself, my D who is in grad school is in her grad studio to all hours of the night into the wee hours of the morning seven nights per week. Anyone can access the building, though the students in her studio must swipe a card to get into the studio space itself. The scary thing is that no matter how much security there is for a building, or how street smart one can be, that there are deranged individuals even among the “approved list” of who can work and enter the shared space. There are killers on college campuses and in the work place who had approval to be there and got through the security system as they were considered “safe” so to speak to be there. There is a limit to what can be done to prevent this type of tragedy. That is the topic right now…this case, this type of circumstance…which does not negate the significance of all the other atrocious and horrific acts done against all types of women in all situations and locales.</p>

<p>PS, I cross posted with blankmind.</p>

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<p>I agree, in fact, the only other young woman I know who was murdered, was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. Both were students at Yale, and he seemed perfectly normal before he snapped.</p>

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<p>ILovetoQuilt…by the way, feel free to start a thread about any of the other specific cases of women victims you mention and we can discuss each of those as well.</p>

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<p>maineparent, you make a fellow Downeaster proud. :slight_smile: (ref: post #56)</p>

<p>The thought occurred to me:

…all those isolated hours in lab, with just a few co-workers, you get to know each other pretty well. You relax and talk about your personal lives. And what’s a bride-to-be going to talk about? Her upcoming wedding, of course, and her fiance, the guy she loves. And as it gets closer to her big day, she talks about it more and more. Brides do that.</p>

<p>I know, my imagination is in overdrive right now, but I am just trying to figure out why anyone would harm this wonderful young lady. Pathological jealousy could be a motive, others have said that too.</p>

<p>This is just all so sickening.</p>

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<p>I agree most time it is someone known to the victim. However, I disagree that someone just snapped. There is always signs, but the victim does not recognized them, or dismiss them as overreacting. My daughter had to read a book on safety for school. She read it and her opinion was that it was stupid, overboard. I read the book and had a very, very long discussion with her. The book was about being aware and sensing when a situation or relationship seems different. In the case of this college student, I am sure that at one point, there was a click in her head that something was very wrong. But she was trapped in there. That is why I go back to cameras being useless as a preventive method.</p>

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<p>Even if you know that someone is “strange” and is paying undue attention to someone, there isn’t much that can be done if there are no threats or actions. We dealt with a situation where a man was continually watching our D and her colleagues (she worked in a public place and all her colleagues were young women). We went to the police and were told that there was nothing they could do unless he did something overtly threatening. This man is still around, although my D is no longer in the same town.</p>

<p>It’s especially hard when the person in question is a colleague, like the lab tech was. Of course we don’t know if he is the perpetrator, but I’m just using him as an example. When someone steps beyond the boundaries of rational behavior but has not yet done something illegal, it’s really hard to stop them.</p>

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<p>I am the parent of a Wesleyan student. For info on what Wes parents are doing to organize following the May 6, 2009 murder of Johanna '10 by a stalker whom she met at a NYU summer program, go to [The</a> Wesleyan Argus](<a href=“http://www.wesleyanargus.com%5DThe”>http://www.wesleyanargus.com) – the Sept. 12th issue – and click on News and scroll down to read “Post Tragedy, Parents Band Together”.</p>

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<p>On another thread it was mentioned that Le’s facebook pages were open and full of info and pictures about her life and up coming wedding. If her murder was indeed a crime of passion/obsession one can only wonder what effect her facebook had on the psyche of her killer.</p>

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<p>“I am getting kind of irked that somehow her lose is more important that the tens of thousands of women and girls who are assaulted daily, murdered for just being female.”</p>

<p>She stands for all of the women and girls who are assaulted and murdered and otherwise victimized.</p>

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<p>I think about the points you have raised a lot, too, ilovetoquilt. Northstarmom has an interesting take on it — by raising awareness of one woman’s suffering/victimhood, perhaps that doesn’t not take away from other women/girls’ suffering, but could serve as a springboard to consider those things, more. </p>

<p>Not too many decades ago, rape and child abuse were rarely reported in in this country, and then not often prosecuted. Often the woman was considered to have ‘asked for it’ and children’s abuse (of all types) was just something that stayed behind closed doors.</p>

<p>Things are changing…slowly…but they are. That’s hopeful. </p>

<p>I know a guy (high-end partying, NYC finance dude) who attended a gala this summer to raise money to stop child sexploitation around the world. I don’t think something like that would have been as mainstream even 10 years ago. </p>

<p>I’d like to think awareness and action are moving in the right direction in these important areas…</p>

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<p>Perhaps not the best source, but the NY Daily News is reporting that the lab tech who has been under surveillance has been taken into custody tonight.</p>

<p>[Lab</a> tech Raymond Clark 3rd in custody for DNA tests over murder of student Annie Le](<a href=“http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/09/15/2009-09-15_cops_set_to_reveal_yale_student_annie_le_cause_of_death_hope_to_make_arrest_tues.html]Lab”>http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/09/15/2009-09-15_cops_set_to_reveal_yale_student_annie_le_cause_of_death_hope_to_make_arrest_tues.html)</p>

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<p>The NY Daily News was the first to report his name, his job title, etc…
Thank God for dedicated journalists.</p>

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<p>From the NY Daily News. Interesting:</p>

<p>"A woman who knew Clark [the arrested lab tech] when he lived in New Haven last year said he screamed at children and was “very controlling” of his girlfriend.</p>

<p>Anne Marie Goodwin, 40, said, “He would never let her talk to anyone. I would hear a lot of yelling upstairs. Ray was very controlling of his girlfriend.”
Clark, who does menial work with animals in a lab that does gruesome animal testing, “kept a pit bull caged in his apartment,” Goodwin said.</p>

<p>“We could hear the dog crying all day while he was at work. He screamed at my 17-year-old son. It was horrifying.”</p>

<p>Clark lives with his girlfriend and the couple shares a MySpace page. Hromadka writes extensively about her “wonderful boyfriend Ray.”</p>

<p>“I love hanging out with Ray’s family (he has a great one) and playing with [his sister] Denise and [her husband] Shawn’s Adorable kids, Caleb and Brielle.”</p>

<p>In May 2008, she blogged about a rumor that Clark was cheating on her with a girl in his Yale lab.</p>

<p>“My boyfriend, Ray, if you don’t know him, has no interest in any of the other girls at YARC as anything more than friends,” she wrote, referring to the Yale Animal Resource Center.</p>

<p>“He is a bit naive, doesn’t always use the best judgment, definitely is not the best judge of character but he is a good guy,” she wrote. "He has a big heart and tries to see the best in people ALL THE TIME! even when everyone else is telling him that the person is a psycho or that the person can’t be trusted.</p>

<p>“He thinks everyone deserves a second chance and has a hard time hurting people’s feelings and it takes him getting burned to learn.”</p>

<p>Her most recent entry, written on Friday, says: “Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect and I don’t live to be, but before you start pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean!!”</p>

<p>Read more: [Lab</a> tech Raymond Clark 3rd in custody for DNA tests over murder of student Annie Le](<a href=“http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/09/15/2009-09-15_cops_set_to_reveal_yale_student_annie_le_cause_of_death_hope_to_make_arrest_tues.html#ixzz0REhyQcNS]Lab”>http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/09/15/2009-09-15_cops_set_to_reveal_yale_student_annie_le_cause_of_death_hope_to_make_arrest_tues.html#ixzz0REhyQcNS)</p>

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<p>He might well have done it, but wow, that is one biased sentence. How come no one has described the victim as “working in a lab that does gruesome animal testing”? As for the dog crying, crating dogs is very common–you can agree or disagree with it but it doesn’t make him out of the ordinary–and dogs with separation anxiety cry. Lots of law-abiding people own pit bulls, too.</p>

<p>The stuff about him screaming at his kids, being a controlling man, and screaming at the neighbors, those are the worrying elements.</p>

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<p>Naturally, let me add to your post. I was about to write that animal testing in academic labs or pharmaceutical research is by no means “gruesome”. Every institution that does animal work has to adhere to very strict guidelines and handle the animals in the most humane manner. Additionally, new protocols involving animals have to be reviewed and approved by a special committee of researchers, regulatory folks and veterinarians. A few years ago a talented immunologist was forced to leave his position at UW over allegations that mice (!) in his lab were used in unapproved procedures.</p>

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<p>[Technician</a> in custody in Yale grad student slaying - Yahoo! News](<a href=“http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090916/ap_on_re_us/us_yale_killing]Technician”>http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090916/ap_on_re_us/us_yale_killing)</p>

<p>He was released overnight.</p>

<p>edited to add, in response to shellfell’s post, I think that’s clear to anyone who has been reading the articles about the case.</p>

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<p>Just to be clear…he was brought in for questioning & to collect DNA evidence & then he was released. He is considered “a person of interest” at this point, because they are still collecting the evidence to get an arrest warrant. I’m sure the police are watching him closely until that point.</p>

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<p>I’m not very familiar with social networking sites. Its interesting and remarkable what gets put on these sites in writing. The comment about a relationship between this guy and someone who worked at the lab, made a year and a half ago, raises questions. </p>

<p>I wonder if Le had made any comments about this guy to her friends or family. And whether they can be recalled correctly under the current circumstances.</p>