missing your kid

<p>I know this is the college parents forum, but I lurk here for advice and information on the journey ahead. I am a boarding school parent whose only child left this past September at 14 to attend a school almost 3,000 miles from home. Missing him? You bet, but I’m surprised at the depth of that feeling. DH and I are in our mid-fifties and had twenty years together before DS came along unexpectedly. We’ve always looked forward to the time when we’d be a couple again, but we didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Our son has always been fiercely independent, but we didn’t expect him to take so readily to boarding school. He’s thriving and happy but, like us in college, doesn’t give his parents much thought. It didn’t really dawn on me until after he left that, for all intents and purposes, BS is just like college—he won’t be coming home again ever except for breaks between terms/school years. He considers himself “launched”, but I can’t say I’m really ready to accept that after only 14 years. Like other posters, I linger in his room and feel a deep sadness, much deeper than I had expected. However, I know that the sadness is only on my end. My child feels/knows none of this. He is happier than he’s ever been, so I try to balance my feelings of loss with knowing that he’s excited about his journey, and he’s getting a great education. It’s very hard not to be there to watch him grow up (it seems he’s become a young man in a very few months) or to be there for all the usual high-school experiences. So, we cheer him on from afar, hold him tight when he’s home, talk to him via e-mail and Skype, love him with care packages, wait for his calls, and adjust as best we can to our new life. If there is any upside, it’s that we’ve experienced the college separation early, so that transition should not be another adjustment.</p>