My son (‘24 grad) is going on a religious mission for 2 years but also agreed to play soccer for a D3 school. He hasn’t signed the documents yet but we want to know how to best proceed with the coach to return and have a spot on the team.
Should he sign and explain the commitment needs to be deferred? Or not sign and explain his religious commitment.
There is no formal agreement D3 programs. You don’t “sign” Has he been accepted and will defer enrollment? I don’t see another option other than being honest with the coach. The coach needs to fill that spot for the coming season.
They sent him a document but, you are right, it doesn’t look terribly binding. I guess we just break it to the coach and hope for the best when he returns?
I am wondering if a college will allow a student to defer for 2 years. That might be the more important issue.
Will any coach guarantee a spot for any student for that length of time?
Seems unlikely or at least pending… how will the student train in the next two years? Will they arrive in playing form?
The college manages it on a case by case basis and we just have to send an email to admissions with the reason for deferment. We are not hyper about it. If he can defer, great, and if not, he was accepted and can attend elsewhere. He can also apply elsewhere for the year he returns.
I just want to take the right steps for the best possible outcome for where we are right now but our son is very flexible in terms of his future plans and where the chips may fall.
Sounds like an open conversation is your best option.
He returns in July and will be able to train/exercise daily while away. I understand the possibility for being out of shape is greater but it is a good test of his desire and self-discipline to be away and mature mentally in that time. Physical training (imo) is the easier component to this.
Congrats to your son on his achievements. I know it can be rough getting colleges to understand and work around such a commitment (other than a few schools in a particular geographic region).
Most of the missionaries I know have decided to return early. I know that’s not what they planned, but it seems to happen pretty often. Is your son super-excited about his call or do you have a sense that he may come back before 2 years? Does he want to consider asking for the standard college 1-year deferment just in case?
Hope it all goes well!
I think that you might get more specific information through church channels from other LDS students and families who have been in this same position. A single gap year is common (although not for recruited athletes), but a two year gap is really only sought by LDS missionaries. Although he will certainly return with added socio-emotional maturity, the reality is that not playing his sport in a competitive atmosphere on a regular basis for two years could certainly adversely affect his level of play by the time he returns.
In any event, the coach really needs to know, and right away. I recommend that your son speak with the coach first, before proceeding. The coach was recruiting a team for this year, not for two years from now. Assuming that your son knew that he was going on a mission, it seems to me to have not been transparent with the coach, to have participated in the recruited athlete program, when your son likely knew that he was not going to be available to play for the next two years. Of course, if he had let the coaches know up front that he planned to go on a mission, and not be available to play until fall or '26, that’s a different story - but in that case, his coach would already have known, and you wouldn’t be asking this question.
In my generation, it was a given that young LDS men would go on a mission. There was a lot of stigma associated with declining to serve. One of my friends was kicked out of his house and nearly disowned for it (his parents came around eventually).
Thankfully, times have really changed, and that outcome is rare nowadays. In my recent experience, most young LDS men are opting to not serve missions. There is a lot that goes into deciding to serve and a lot of them make last-minute decisions one way or the other. There is a lot of indecisiveness and changing plans at all stages of the process.
Similarly, most of the young men I know who do decide to serve come home before two years. That carried absolutely crushing stigma back in my day. That stigma has also lessened considerably over the years (though is still rough).
So rather than missions being a sure thing for every young man for 2 years like they were in my generation, this generation is more flexible with their plans. It’s a really really difficult decision to go and then to stay there for most of the kids I know.
So I sympathize greatly with the contingency plans. I don’t know how OP feels vs the kid in question either. Many times the kids and parents have differing opinions when it comes to serving, and that can be a huge stress for everyone. I hope OP and their kid can make plans that work well for everyone involved.
If it’s for an LDS mission, which typically takes place at age 18 and lasts two years, they often will, especially if it happens to be a college that enrolls a lot of LDS kids.
Recruited sports, though? I imagine that’s a different story.
A few years ago, there was a lacrosse player at UNC (Justin Anderson) that served his LDS mission and came back to play varsity. He may have also been a captain of the team if I recall correctly. I believe he served in South America and trained while there to stay in shape.
On one hand, a coach doesn’t want to keep a spot open for 2 years for an athlete he doesn’t know will stay in playing shape during those two years or even want to come to the school in 2 years. On the other hand, as they learned during covid, a 20 year old is two years bigger and stronger than an 18 year old and more mature in a lot of ways, with 4 years of eligibility remaining.
I think most coaches would be happy to have the older student as part of the team. They aren’t going to ‘hold’ the spot, but if the student keeps the coach informed of the timing to finish the mission and start school, the coach would be able to form that freshman recruiting team with this student on it. It might be a little different for a goalie or shot putter if another goalie or shot putter comes along, but for most sports with multiple players in a position, it should be fine.
So true! A 20 yr old male may be taller, a bit more filled out, which can be helpful in many sports, a detriment in a few. It seems only right to be up front with the coach throughout the process, since he needs to know whether he is recruiting for this year, or two yars from now.