I think people have given a pretty good picture of the frats at MIT (they are there, they are popular, they aren’t going away).
Every college is not going to be all good or all bad. Some are going to have activities the student doesn’t participate in, doesn’t like. You have to decide. We see people making decisions based on the religious offerings (or requirements), the ratio of female to male students, percentage living on campus, whether non music majors can get into the ‘good’ groups, sports and how big they are, etc. Don’t like what MIT offers? Don’t go.
My sister was pretty anti-Greek, had two children who joined, and she very much enjoyed participating in parents’/mom’s weekends. My niece was in charge of a fund raiser and my sister flew out to help with the event. Parents don’t have to participate, but it sure made the experience better for my niece and nephew.
In my own experience, the parents of some of my sorority sisters also became friends. I was at a funeral for the parent of a friend and the parents of another friend attended. I have gone to a lot of funerals for the parents of sister, both to support the sister but also because I’ve known the parents for 40 years and really enjoy them as people too.