I did not support my son joining a fraternity either. But there it is. It fell into the bucket of “Since it doesn’t cost more, and doesn’t involve a risk to life or limb…” and he made his own decision.
Half of the men do not join frats- that’s a big number. They seem to have a robust life filled with academics, EC’s, jobs and a social life. The frat system at MIT is not like the system at more isolated colleges-- where there is literally nothing to do on a weekend besides go to a movie on campus and drink. My kid took advantage of cheap (and sometimes free) symphony tickets, other cultural things going on in Boston, LOTS of fun (and usually free) events at the various museums (the frats sponsored events at the museum of science which sounded really cool), etc. Someone is always nagging their friends to be in the audience for their standup comedy show, a poetry slam, or their “debut” performance in a new jazz combo.
Most of my son’s friends from his EC’s were not in frats- we had a couple of them stay with us during vacations; one moved in with us after graduation and before his job started, we had guys use our basement for storage at various times. My key takeaway- keeping up with academics and whatever research position you get involved in is “Job 1”. The amount of time you’ll have for everything else isn’t quite as vast as you think it’s going to be!!!
Maybe if you posted your specific concern?