<p>I appreciate when my family makes an effort to show their love. A gift card to a favorite restaurant, a homemade cake from scratch, flowers, making a scrapbook page for my albums, a book or dvd movie. I like that they thought ahead, had a plan, and executed the plan.</p>
<p>Our solution to the crowded restaurants is to either go out for a meal later, at Supper time, or go to a lesser restaurant that wouldn’t be known as a “Mother’s Day” place. Chipotle, Moe’s, that kind of spot that usually isn’t as crowded. I do hate the crowds and waiting in line. I would rather be in a more relaxed environment.</p>
<p>A handwritten note of specific appreciation is a great idea. (Not just “you’re the greatest mom in the world” —unless you are 5 years old and then it is fine.) But a note that says “I appreciate all the early mornings when you get up at 5 am to cook me breakfast and drive me to swim practice.” That kind of detail makes more of an impact, at least to me it does.</p>
<p>I don’t know the growing season where you live, but the flowering trees are mostly in full bloom leading up to and the week or so after Mother’s Day here. Could you plant a small lilac bush or something that would flower in time for Mother’s Day each year? You could add a card that says something about remembering you when the bush flowers each year even though you will be away for future Mother’s Days.</p>
<p>Heartfelt letter is nice. My old boss had funny heartfelt ones from her kids framed on the walls. I’m still jealous, my kids would never do any such thing. What I wanted when they were young was an afternoon spent doing something as a family (like a museum) without complaining. We’ve taken to doing Mother’s Day lunch on Saturday - or this year we’ll be going to a local restaurant for a wine pairing meal on Tuesday. I really don’t want a present - birthdays and Christmas are more than enough of that.</p>
<p>Emc2Fma - I agree that a heartfelt letter would mean a lot. D writes beautiful notes in all her cards. I really don’t pay much attention to the card… I’m always looking forward to her note. One year, for Mother’s Day, she wrote, “I want you to know that I really do appreciate all you do for me, even if it doesn’t always seem like it. Thank you for always trying to do what is best for me, even if I don’t like it at the time. I know I don’t tell you this nearly enough, but I love you so much more than you will ever know, and I think that you are an awesome mom. And thanks to you, I think I turned out pretty good. Love, _____ xoxoxoxoxo” How do I remember this? I have a drawer full of the cards and treasures made by my kids. I even have the hoop earrings made out of tin foil! I also love those notes they wrote in elementary school where the teacher had a sentence starter and the kids completed them. On one of S’s he wrote, in part: “My mother loves me. She is really funny when she laughs. My mom plays Sorry! with me. My mom is so smart. I think my mom is proud of me when I do well in school. My mom thinks I’m good at baseball. I am proud of my mom because she is very smart. My mom laughs when I tell a joke. My mom is cool when she is her. The best thing about my mom is she loves me.” I’m going to frame it tomorrow. When he returns from college maybe he’ll notice and remember how smart and cool I was in the old days…</p>
<p>Good luck, Emc2Fma. Your mom will love your message of love. And congratulations on your college choice. Duke is a great school.</p>
<p>My ideal Mother’s Day gift would be DS cooking dinner (I’d even do the shopping for it!!!) and either a letter or a list of 10 reasons why I’m a great mom. And yes, I’ve gotten those things and I cherish them!!! :)</p>
<p>I’m thinking, OP, that you could do a “reflections on my life and my mom as I prepare to leave the nest” type of writing. You could acknowledge the struggles but make sure to highlight the good things that you see in her and love her for.</p>
<p>My D often gets me books for my Kindle. She knows my taste and is good at picking books by authors I’m unfamiliar with that she thinks I’d like. Usually, they are books she’s already read and enjoyed. I like the books, but the best part is being able to have a good conversation with her about the books later. We both enjoy reading and even at stages where we didn’t get along perfectly, books were a safe topic for us. Until she was about 10 or so, I read most of the books she read because she loved being able to share the books she had read with me. </p>
<p>So, my advice is to give your mom a gift of something you both enjoy. If you both love music, then maybe fill a MP3 player or make some CDs of music she’d like. Or buy tickets to a concert you both would enjoy…and go together. </p>
<p>Do you have old photos in the house? Maybe you could scan and organize those for her.Or by a digital photo frame and fill it with pictures of you as a baby up to the present. </p>
<p>If you are one of several siblings–especially if you are the oldest–does your mom have a good recent photo of all of you together? If not, corral everyone and have a professional portrait of all of you taken together. If you can’t afford that, ask a friend who is good at photography to take if for you but have it printed professionally and put it in a nice frame. Have everyone dress up and look their best. </p>
<p>You might also want to buy a “Duke mom” sweatshirt or some such thing. Write a note to go with it along the lines of “Thanks for being my cheerleader even when my game wasn’t going well” or '…you thought I’d foul out." </p>
<p>You might also give her a “gift certificate” for things like --a promise of a phone call not less than 30 minutes in length at the end of my first week at Duke–and keep that promise.</p>
<p>^^^^This. I adore hanging baskets and usually need/use 6 or 7 of them. If you mom loves flowers, stop at a gardening store that has the combination baskets (more than one type of flower in a basket - don’t just pick up the $12.99 grocery store wilted one!!) Tell the garden store people if you have shade or sun at in your yard and they will help you pick one out. Outdoor flowers make me smile all summer/fall long! ( for me, MUCH preferred than flowers in a vase)</p>
<p>I told my D (only one) that for Mother’s Day all I wanted was for her to return the boots I bought her (that didn’t fit) before she leaves campus!!! Even emailed the return label. It’s Zappos and easy - hope I get my wish!</p>
<p>The college application process was extremely trying for my older daughter. She wrote a very heartfelt letter to me to thank me for standing by her through it all. When she left for college, she created a photo album with all the family trips we took together. We had some great memories of all the family trips, but it was very touching to see pictures in one book. She gave it to us when we said good-bye to her after move in. I cried all the way home.</p>
<p>I’ve asked for a family outing to Anteitam National Battlefield. Not very sentimental; but, we live so close and I’ve never been. Now we’re going. Afterward I’ve asked them to grill hamburgers for dinner.</p>
<p>I think the letter is a lovely idea. Also, depending on which she might prefer, a Duke t’shirt (I like the long-sleeved ones b/c I’m always cold), or a sweatshirt. Even if the relationship has been rough, she’s sorting out feelings about you leaving. It’s hitting her at times she doesn’t expect, in ways she didn’t foresee. Even if you’re not the first to leave home, launching each child can touch a parent with different emotions…it’s just blasted hard.</p>
<p>Mother’s day is hit or miss here. Sometimes it’s remembered, sometimes not. If she can finagle it MIL will have everyone down at her house to ‘honor all moms’. That’s a load of bologna. It’s all show to keep the white hot spot light on her as the premiere, and top mom. I used to start asking way ahead of time for wishes for outings, like hikes in the blue ridge with a picnic lunch, so we’d have plans when she beckoned. Now those things are hard for me. S1 will probably be working, S2 will be at the beach. I’d love to have a quiet dinner with DH and S3 out on the deck (which will include DH power washing beforehand). A girl can hope. :o</p>
<p>I had been asking my kids to get together and do a dead-tree photo of the two of them together, and then I saw the perfect present… an electronic photo frame that can be set up with its own email address and which can also be set to follow an Instagram or Flickr photo feed. I sent them the link, and now I need to send them a reminder…</p>
<p>I want a 90-minute or 2 hour massage from my favorite massage therapist but I don’t tell my kids what I want as a gift. Any gift from them gives me warm fuzzies but since you asked OP…</p>
<p>My D just made my day. She will be in exams starting Wednesday and not be home until after Mother’s Day.</p>
<p>She told me that she is going to get some gourmet popcorn and that we will watch Les Mis on DVD when she is home for my gift. We both love Les Mis and we went on Dec. 26 when she was home for Christmas. It may not sound like much, but this gift is what I truly want! </p>
<p>The rest of us, including my Mom, will do a nice brunch at an uncrowded place. I don’t like gifts, but do appreciate activities. I would love S to do his homework without me nagging; that would give me joy! </p>
<p>OP - I like the letter idea and the Duke Mom idea. Perhaps there is a meaningful activity you could do together as well. We moms really love when our kids spend time with us voluntarily!</p>
<p>Ah… my local-ish DD told me that she and DS (2000 miles away) are trying to coordinate a family video skype session for Mother’s Day. That made my day.</p>