Lots and lots of reasons here for not doing the right thing. The right thing is to pay for the things you leave a store with.
In my mind, it’s incredibly cut and dried.
And it’s not about the 10 Commandments, though I am Catholic. And it’s not about showing my kids what’s right, though that’s also important. It’s not about the cashier or the distance; there are plenty of ways to handle this over the phone.
It’s about doing what’s right because it’s right, because that’s the kind of person I want to be. And in this case, it’s easy to both see what’s right and to do it-- the person obviously had the money to pay for the comforter in the first place.
to answer the query in post 40-(and again touched on post 52) It is irrelevant. Whether or not the item was scanned has absolutely no bearing on what the OP calls the moral ambiguity. The OP and all parties here agree this was an honest mistake. The ensuing debate is- what to do about it now?
Contrary to post 54, I don’t see many convolutions to justify not paying; in fact I see quite the contrary- most everyone is saying to call the store to offer to make it right.
Who knows? The store may even tell the customer to let it slide. Then all parties can have a clear conscience.
And I will repeat my question from a couple pages back- Had the store mistakenly OVERcharged the customer $159 would the customer be in such a quandary on what is the right thing to do? Or would that customer immediately called the store to correct the error?
Many people on CC are not of the Judeo/Christian faith, so why would something from the Old Testament be relevant to them? I do, however, believe most people on CC have personal ethical and moral codes and beliefs and follow them just as closely as religious people do.
It really doesn’t matter what the Bible or the USPS mandates or doesn’t mandate. Keeping something you didn’t pay for or at least not making a minimal effort to right the situation is just wrong, imo. I think most people know on some level it’s “wrong”, but a few here and there just don’t care.
This is why prices on everything are higher. Justify not paying for things anyway you like, but it wasn’t sitting on the shelf advertised as free. People like to think they’re getting one over on the big bad business, but the reality is that business pays for people’s livelihoods.
Hypothetically, suppose she takes the comforter to the dorm and for some reason decides it is not suitable and has to return it. Maybe she finds a defect in the product. What happens next? Does she go back to the store and say I got it as a gift and ask for merchandise credit?She has no receipt for proof of purchase. Now this becomes fraud.
Hoping this scenario doesn’t happen but I would say just call the store and be done with it.
The more days she delays the more questionable this becomes.
Mistakes happen but I have a habit of checking my receipt in the store or at least once I get in the car before I put it into my purse. I do this every time I go to the grocery store because sometimes the prices just don’t scan correctly. To me there is nothing more annoying than to go home and notice a mistake on the receipt or notice an item missing that I paid for.
My simple rule for stuff like this is “Is it yours?” If you didn’t pay for it and it wasn’t given to you, it isn’t yours. If you found it on the side of the road, it isn’t yours. Keeping is stealing. The other questions (Did it get scanned? Can the person afford it? What are the consequences to the cashier? The store?) are, IMO, convoluted nonsense designed to complicate what is really a clear moral question.
The ambiguity lies in the OP’s feelings about how to address her stealing friend, and this is understandable. I’d feel wonky about this, too, and I’m a perfectly obnoxious, hypocritical, self-righteous Christian. But there is no moral ambiguity about what the friend did.
My purpose in pointing out that the item wasn’t scanned and left the store undetected/able is in response to all those who posted scenarios where the OP’s friend might somehow get caught. She won’t.
I absolutely agree that the fact she won’t get caught is completely irrelevant. She needs to do the right thing because it’s the right thing. Period.
I’m no lawyer, but I don’t think “getting caught” even if it happened would be a big deal. I don’t believe the store would press charges on the belief that the cashier and the customer were in cahoots to deliberately let the mdse through without ringing it up. That would mean the 2 of them had conspired to steal from the store. Certainly no one here has suggested that.
quote “Theft” means:
(a) To wrongfully obtain or exert unauthorized control over the property or services of another or the value thereof, with intent to deprive him or her of such property or services; or
(b) By color or aid of deception to obtain control over the property or services of another or the value thereof, with intent to deprive him or her of such property or services; or
(c) To appropriate lost or misdelivered property or services of another, or the value thereof, with intent to deprive him or her of such property or services.
[/quote]
Neither the cashier nor the customer had the intent to defraud the store.
which lends further evidence that this is, in fact, a moral issue not a legal one… Sad that Op’s friend has trouble seeing what the right thing to do is.
Despite all the rationales offered, I think it’s very unlikely said friend didn’t realize cash-register tally was “light”, i.e. missing said $150 comforter. But I wouldn’t offer any further commentary to this person.
What I dislike about such interactions with friends is that it can’t help but really taint how you feel about that person. I hate when you find out such aspects of a friend’s morals that you’d probably rather not know. It’s one thing to rip off a business. It’s another to have no remorse and openly and freely bring it up. It’s hard for me to erase things like that t from my memory bank and not let it affect how I feel about the person.
If your friend doesn’t want to do the right thing just because it is right, remind her that there are cameras everywhere and they have photos of her with the item, the store copy of the receipt, camera’s outside to capture her car and license plate. Yes, she should pay for it by phone, explaining that it is not the clerk’s fault, etc.
The store, right now unaware of the loss, isn’t likely to view everyone who went through the line with a comforter and walked out with a receipt. Looking for what?
If she calls to rectify, anyone seriously think the store will go back over weeks of video, for every comforter that went out? Then dig up every parking lot video, pour over that? To maybe id the cashier?
Unless the item was clearly marked with someone’s name and was obviously not intended to be abandoned, what you described above wouldn’t be considered stealing and some literature and films have actually satirized folks who hold such views for being too extreme*.
If something is lost or abandoned as in the case of something left on the road, IME only the most zealous moralistic folks would have an issue with it.**
It’s funny since not too long ago, someone on another thread tried to imply I stole a musical keyboard I found clearly abandoned on a sidewalk since it was late at night and it was placed next to the recyclables to be picked up.
In that context, that would be considered abandoned property and in most jurisdictions I know of, abandoned property is free to be taken by anyone who has an interest in doing so without any legalistic…or from talking with more reasonable folks including religious ones…moral problems.
There's a specific scene from a tv series in which a young girl with supernatural powers expressed such excessively righteous moral streak in a speech about her quest for justice one of her friends in horror imagined her using her powers to zap someone to oblivion while her friends were trying to calm her down because he picked up a coin abandoned on the road and she yelled out "That's stealing!"
** In my mind, they’re akin to an aunt who tried giving me grief over having 1 glass of wine at a non-religious cousin’s wedding because she feels any imbibing of alcohol is “morally wrong”. I replied with some tact that while she’s free to observe her religious beliefs by not partaking in the wine herself, she had absolutely no right to impose her religious beliefs on others and if she can’t accept that, too bad.
That’s likely because for the clerk, it’s not only additional work for something which they may feel doesn’t benefit them personally, but may also cause them/their colleagues some grief with the manager/owner if they/one of the other clerks/cashiers were found to have caused that mistake*.
This is especially the case in retail store environments where the cashiers/clerks are taken for granted by management/treated badly and are in a situation where they have no choice but to continue working there for economic/financial reasons.
I.e. Management opting to use "collective punishment" on the entire cashier/clerk group rather than solely on the clerk/cashier responsible for the mistake.