Volatile or abusive…that can really depend on psychological things that one can’t speculate about. My husband had a volatile relationship before I met him that I heard about from every single person who knew them. Many cautioned me that they would physically fight (both of them) and I heard what the friends were saying and took it under advisement. I told him point blank if he ever touched me out of anger I was out of there…forever. Now I’ve never, ever seen anything in him like I heard about in over thirty years of marriage so was “she” the trigger or who had the problem - my guess is neither had a “problem” they were simply volatile and should never have been together after the first fight and I’m glad they finally ended it, or I would have never met and married him. I’m glad mediation is back on the table because just from reading both sides, these two could probably have benefited from counseling and if not they should have gone their separate ways. Counseling should have occurred the minute she reneged on her story because one or both of them could have probably benefited from counseling. The college, continuing down the path it did just added fuel to the fire in my opinion and she should have some say in what happened going forward. Now if five other women came forth and said he choked and shoved them that would be a different tale and I’d feel entirely different about my impression and then he shouldn’t be running loose in society simply because he got kicked off a campus because it’s an issue for women outside the college, too. I just think we’re going about this in entirely the wrong way with these campus relationship issues so welcome some scrutiny and input from a larger audience. I’m guessing my feelings aren’t that different from Mrs. DeVos.