<p>I’ve started ti give consumables in a lot of cases. No clutter. I like getting consumable gifts too. </p>
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<p>While I agree, you also run the risk that the giver says, “Aha! Now I know the sort of thing that they like, I can continue on this vein for the foreseeable future!” </p>
<p>My brother works at the university that both my sister and I attended. Every year he gives us something from the university bookstore. Last year he gave my sister a toaster that burned the school mascot’s outline on the bread!
He gave me a black hoodie w/ white lettering. It was a size men’s large. I’m not a man nor am I large. Oh and…the Christmas before that he gave a me a black logo hoodie!</p>
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<p>Possibly, yes, but I am a true believer in “it’s the thought that counts.” If it is clear some thought went into it, so what if you don’t like the gift? Show appreciation anyway. I’m not talking about the gifts others mentioned like wrapping up free sample soaps from a trip, but gifts the person truly picked out or had made especially for you. What truly matters is the thoughtfulness. I don’t just want someone to say thanks only when they like the actual gift. For example, same mother-in-law seemed to love a flowering plant I bought for her deck for Mother’s Day and oohed and ahhhed about it, which is nice. But I put even more thought into those other gifts and it was evident by the reaction that she did not like the gifts and there was no thanks or anything. Thoughtfulness is just that, no matter the gift. </p>
<p>I thought the worse was returning a floral arrangement because she likes cut flowers better. What harm is it to have a floral arrangement for a week? It just seems extreme and even if it was returned, who would admit it?</p>
<p>I probably should add that apparently the issue with mother-in-law not liking particular gifts is not just in relation to me. My husband said that such a fuss was made over the gifts his mom received during his childhood, that he came to dislike birthdays and other gift giving holidays.</p>
<p>The wrapped kleenex is lol funny. A few times, DH gave me sweaters- green and in petite. I haven’t worn green since middle school, it was his mother’s favorite color. And size. Haha. He was trying. </p>
<p>About books, Wasatch, we gave up buying them for D1 or giving her bookstore certificates- she reads them in a day or two and then hates to let go. Now, we give her a stack of library books, as a side gift.</p>
<p>Soozievt, I agree with you completely. I can’t imagine returning a flower arrangement but telling the giver is terrible! </p>
<p>My husband has gotten into the habit (7 or 8years) of buying me cut flowers from Trader Joes for various holidays from Valentine’s Day to birthday to wedding anniversary. Although I like flowers, I can’t help but resent the fact that he spends no time thinking of what I would really like. If I don’t thank him enthusiastically, I look like an ungrateful brat, but if I do thank him, the flowers will continue. The fact that he continues to buy thoughtful gifts for his best friend’s wife (we go out to dinner with them on birthdays) is more than a little irritating. And yes, I have pointed that out to him. </p>
<p>I am not a fan of anything scented…lotions, candles, colognes, anything scented. I graciously accept these gifts and pass them on to others who will appreciate them (not as gifts for an event…just give them away).</p>
<p>Worst gifts here? Trip souvenirs. MIL and FIL used to travel a lot. Every year they sent some trip souvenir. Two inch high Navaho pot, two inch high Venetian glass vase, wall hangings, etc. it has all been donated to charity.</p>
<p>Best gift I ever got was a truckload of manure for my garden. True. Worst gift: a creepy doll that I was supposed to prop somewhere as decoration. </p>
<p>I need that for my garden but it rain today.</p>
<p>Sooziet,</p>
<p>Your MIL sounds like the kind of person who gives MILs a bad name. Had your husband given her something, she might have been gracious. </p>
<p>This thread reminded me that I needed a gift for tonight for someone who is turning 70. I spent 2 1/2 hours in Bloomies and GapBody, which is an eternity for me. Here’s hoping:</p>
<p>Gift #1–a black cashmere shawl sweater
Gift #2 --exercise outfit, gray bottoms, top is gray underneath, with built in bra, with green overtop. We go to same gym (tho she needs encouragement).</p>
<p>My “favorite” wedding present was a colored glass set of punch glasses, with the yellowing of the box making it clear that it had been in someone’s attic for a number of years. Actually we were touched–from elderly relatives who probably couldn’t have afforded a new gift. The “bath swan” (ceramic swan to put a guest towel on in your bathroom) was the least useful…</p>
<p>I was self supporting and living on my own at 18, I would have loved a gift card. My parents did not approve of the neighborhood I was living in (it was the only place I could afford!) so they gave me a box full of assorted mace sprays. </p>
<p>Best gift I got at that time was from my sister, a box full of cleaning supplies, spices, and paper products to stock my first kitchen!</p>
<p>Bulky objects that the giver brings from a far away trip and expects me to display in the house. I am very grateful for the thoughts and attention, but do I really want to dust yet another African carving or a piece of Mexican pottery (see the bag a week thread)? I am planning to ask the kids to give me a gift of pet sitting for Chrismas so Mr B and I can get away from the rain! 
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<p>We actually try to TELL people what we might want in our family (some of us, anyway). D1 has already sent some online links in case anyone is looking for ideas for her. Even if we didn’t get the exact item, it gives an idea of what she might like. I keep an eye on her Pintrerest, too. And I pass on links to my parents and her dad if they ask for suggestions. I try to keep in mind suggestions to give them for me (I am almost out of Penzey’s mulling spices, for example). No one is obligated, but the gift ideas are appreciated. </p>
<p>I knew one if my kids were destined to be some sort of management/CEO type when she sends me power point contains gift ideas and links starting middle school. </p>
<p>We grown ups do not exchange gifts regularly. If I see something that is suitable for someone, I’ll buy it. But for Christmas, we make a charitable donation from the family. </p>
<p>Our kids make us Christmas lists, although of late, money is the best gift they could receive. </p>
<p>My husband is a challenge…although I just gave him six months of the Craf Beer of the Month Club and it is a hit.</p>
<p>FYI - There are various sites where you could sell your unwanted gift cards.</p>
<p>Worst gift - A kimono robe set (his and hers), complete with chopsticks. </p>
<p>My daughter has started a “wish list” board on Pinterest. Very helpful.</p>
<p>This year we’re doing a family vacation at Christmas as a family gift (though I’ll buy some small things for the kids). My mom died last Christmas, and none of us want to be at home (she used to spend every Christmas with us).</p>
<p>Worst gift ever received was from my SIL - a sticky old pacifier with a yard sale sticker on it as a baby gift. Really.</p>
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<p>I should clarify that all the gifts given to MIL were from my husband and I as a COUPLE, and not from me personally. I just happened to be the one who took care of buying the gifts but I always ran the ideas by my husband who was grateful for the choices I came up with. His mom seems to have issues over gifts from anyone I believe. </p>
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<p>In my immediate family, that’s what we do too. The gifts I give to my kids, for example, are not surprises. I tell them the budget for my gift for their birthdays and Hanukah and we discuss what they are going to get. Same with spouse.</p>
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<p>I understand that somewhat because it seems that once they land on knowing something you like, they keep getting it over and over again without a lot of new thought going into it. For example, my husband used to get his dad a carton of tennis balls every year on his birthday. His dad liked them (I think) and does play tennis. But I felt once he learned his dad liked the gift, he kept giving the same thing each year and did not put much thought into the gift selection. It is not a big deal but that is how I saw it a bit. Like your husband, mine would often bring me flowers. I happen to love flowers and I realize sometimes it was an easy thing without having to give it much thought…sorta tried and true…but I still appreciated getting them (and he got me other stuff too). I would keep thanking your hubby for the flowers. At another time (not when you are receiving the flowers), you might hint that you love X or Y and would love it as a gift some day for a special occasion. Maybe he just doesn’t have a clue. My spouse and I discussed our birthday presents in advance usually.</p>
<p>Old fort, that’s too funny. I used to have a kimono but I have my own chop sticks.</p>