<p>Twenty something years ago, my parents bought a home with a basement level unfinished apartment at garage level. Their idea was that my grandma could move into the basement. They finished it out as such. Kitchen-ette, outside enterance, full bath, etc. Never worked… by the time Grandma couldn’t live alone, all those steps were too much.
SOOOOOO Our in-between generation has soaked up a huge benefit from family having this apartment in the basement… Kids have landed there while job hunting or just needing a few month’s home between rentals.<br>
Hugs to you like Curm who could have had this fun multi=generational thing but got screwed by genetics…there is nothing we can offer except hugs. It’s a nasty disease.</p>
<p>Oh, I don’t have that nasty disease. Yet. At least I don’t think so. Although by my posting on the board, you’d think it was setting in. 
I do have the great diabetes genes to keep me company till the other ones kick in. My dad started having symptoms at age 60. That used to seem like forever away. Now? Not so much. </p>
<p>Gee. I’m such a Debbie Downer tonight. Time to snap out of it. Now.</p>
<p>My mother lives with us. She has her own bedroom and bath; she has the formal living room also as there is a family room downstairs.</p>
<p>If I had it to do over again, I would have gotten a separate in-law or just assisted living. She goes beyond the ‘needing additional storage space’ into hoarding. We have one shelf in the fridge; her stuff take up the rest and all of the freezer (we use a freezer in the basement) Her stuff takes up two thirds of the pantry; she buys weird specialty items that she never uses.</p>
<p>Now that she is less mobile I am cleaning out her stuff from the basement and attic storage spaces. </p>
<p>Being in the same house has been trying. She has tried to direct how we spend our limited free time as a family and has interfered in our parenting decisions. She is now hard of hearing and losing some cognitive function. We had to have our phone contact info shifted to our cell accounts as we were not getting important messages.</p>
<p>I could go on, but in summary, in our situation, a totally separate living area would have been best.</p>
<p>Several years ago my in laws looked at some Del Webb senior communities in Arizona. The homes were being marketed to the 55-65 age group. All of the homes had a small completely separate building in the back yard. It was set up like a studio or pool house. The real estate agent told them they were built so that their elderly parents could move in. She said in reality the husbands ended up living in them instead.</p>
<p>I’ve noticed that in the new larger homes being built today, including a MIL suite is common. They’re also including an elevator if the MIL suite is not on the ground floor.</p>
<p>Our friends with the apartment above the garage also made their original garage into living space. They did raise the floor rather than just carpet the slab. Their former garage is now just a huge family room off of the kitchen and there is an outside entry into the room. It sounds very much like curmudgeon’s arrangment, but much simpler. The space certainly was large enough that it could have been divided.</p>
<p>We moved my mom out of california and into Oklahoma because I was stationed there. She had her own little 2 bedroom duplex. Great for her, horrible for us- having to drive and visit 2-3 times a week was a pain. Then we moved to Virginia and the cost of living was too high for her to have her own place. All we could afford at the time was a split level. She is definitley a pack rat. There was several times when I was ready to murder her- she would complain about not having enough room- her- one person = 1000 sf… Us- four people, 1000 square feet.</p>
<p>Then she fell own the stairs while we were on our first family vacation- she was home alone and we were 3000 miles away. Fractured her ankle, ended up in a nuring home / rehab until we got back in town. </p>
<p>Anyway, 2 years later we bought a colonial. We finished out the basement just for her. She now has 1100 square feet that includes a bedroom with a walk in closet, full kitchen, living room. We are working on creating a patio for her so she can walk out in the evening.</p>
<p>Because she fell earlier, she has a chair lift to get her form the first floor to the basement. Her bathroom was built as handicapped accessibble and has a full size washer and dryer.</p>
<p>We had to justify the full size kitchen with the county- they were afraid we were having space built for another family.</p>
<p>She loves her area. We love that she is near but not in OUR living space. She has her own privacy and gets a lot of interaction with her grandkids (14/18 yrs old). </p>
<p>Now if I can just get her to stop falling… She was on a trip with friends 3 weeks ago to Pennsylvania, got up in the middle of the night and fell. Broke her hip. Had hip replacement surgery 3 hours from our home. Is still in rehab until they determine she can come home. So now we are spending our weekends dirving to PA to visit.</p>
<p>We are definitely sandwiches…</p>