Mother loses custody of children because of cancer diagnosis

Parent Cafe
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<p>The parents have been fighting over custody and it has been an issue for a while. She is not losing custody completely, she is having to share it. Where the big problem exists, is that the judge is ordering the kids to Chicago and for her to realistically share custody, she has to move there which she does not want to do. The timing makes sense in that time is needed to move there and the kids are probably in school. No one is saying she is unfit or that she is losing the kids or a risk to the kids. She is ordered to share and to make it possible to share.</p>

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<p>I repeat what I said upthread: the judge is in North Carolina. She has been a family law practitioner for seventeen years, and a judge for five years. I suspect that she has seen it all. The idea that this decision is based on corruption is probably nonsense. Judges don’t typically take custody away from a mother and give it to an out-of-state father without some pretty strong reasons to do so.</p>

<p>The news articles don’t tell us about the finances, or about what the father is willing to do.</p>

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<p>From the NY Times “Motherlode: Adventures in Parenting” blog:</p>

<p>May 12, 2011, 2:21 PM
Losing Custody Because She Has Cancer</p>

<p>[Losing</a> Custody Because She Has Cancer - NYTimes.com](<a href=“Losing Custody Because She Has Cancer - The New York Times”>Losing Custody Because She Has Cancer - The New York Times)</p>

<p>And… some petitions:</p>

<p>Do not allow NC Judge to take Alaina Giordano’s children just because she has cancer! (72,000 + signatures)
<a href=“http://www.change.org/petitions/do-not-allow-nc-judge-to-take-alaina-giordanos-children-just-because-she-has-cancer[/url]”>http://www.change.org/petitions/do-not-allow-nc-judge-to-take-alaina-giordanos-children-just-because-she-has-cancer&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Throw North Carolina Judge Nancy Gordon off the bench (700+ signatures)
<a href=“http://www.change.org/petitions/throw-north-carolina-judge-nancy-gordon-off-the-bench[/url]”>http://www.change.org/petitions/throw-north-carolina-judge-nancy-gordon-off-the-bench&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Our problem has nothing to do with distance but a court system gone bad. Non-custodial parents are often seperated from their children and abused. Most non-custodial parents happen to be men. It seems alright to deprive a child of a parents love as long as it’s not the mother. This would possibly be right in a perfect world. Women are doing it to themselves. To correct our children problems; both parents should have equal rights until one proves to be unfit. Remove the financial ticket and see how many mothers release the children to their fathers. We need fathers involved in our childrens lives since its apparently broken at this point. Heartless; I think not but anger on both parts. The fathers job from reports, provides the mother treatment so how is that heartless. Gender bais is not the solution; just an on-going problem and means for the justice system and government to enslave our children.</p>

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<p>Here’s an article updating the case a bit, with some interesting additional facts:
[Cancer:</a> Can illness affect child custody decisions? - latimes.com](<a href=“http://www.latimes.com/health/ct-met-cancer-custody-20110604,0,1469361.story?page=1]Cancer:”>http://www.latimes.com/health/ct-met-cancer-custody-20110604,0,1469361.story?page=1)
Note that these people aren’t divorced–if he divorced her, she’d lose her health insurance, which comes from his job. He also provides all the financial support for her and the children.
And here’s an editorial from a Durham, NC, paper about it:
<a href=“http://www.heraldsun.com/view/full_story/13272346/article-Don-t-call-it-journalism?instance=most_recommended[/url]”>http://www.heraldsun.com/view/full_story/13272346/article-Don-t-call-it-journalism?instance=most_recommended&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Wow, Hunt. That Durham editorial is compelling:

Ouch</p>

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<p>If the woman did not have cancer, this thing would not have gotten the headlines and response. She is not employed. Her ex is. They have shared custody which is becoming more and more common these days. When you have shared custody, it cannot work well unless you live near the other parents. So she is being ordered to have the kids move with the father who is apparently not getting his share of the custody. For her to share, she has to live near him, so she would have to move which she does not want to do. That is what the issue is. Since the father is paying child support, has shared custody, and it is important for the support of the kids that he keeps his job, it is a natural outcome that she, the unemployed one is asked to move to where the job is. No different than married couples in such situations. </p>

<p>That she has cancer is a whole other issue. Chicago is not a wasteland for medical care. She can get good followup treatment there. WHat she has does not need continual acute care, and she can find a break point in the treatment to make her move there. Her kids can be cared for by the ex while she makes those arrangements to move and then she will share custody like many, many parents who are divorced.</p>

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<p>Total rathole comment … the complication of her cancer treatment and the Dad’s need to carry her on his health insurance is an amazing example that our system of tying health insurance to employment is a vary bad histotical accident … and a huge argument for either portable insurance or separating health insurance from employeers.</p>

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<p>I agree with cptofthehouse.</p>

<p>An interesting section of the LA Times article talks about Chicago attorney Pam Jann, going through a divorce on the heels of breast cancer treatment:</p>

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<p>As if fathers don’t feel the exact same way! The NY Times blog and especially the comments portray Giordano’s husband as the devil incarnate. If he were that much of an a-hole, wouldn’t he have divorced her and cut off her health insurance?</p>

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<p>Here’s an update on this case:
[North</a> Carolina Mom Loses Custody of Kids Because She Has Breast Cancer - ABC News](<a href=“North Carolina Mom With Breast Cancer Loses Custody of Kids - ABC News”>North Carolina Mom With Breast Cancer Loses Custody of Kids - ABC News)</p>

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<p>I ran across this old thread, and wondered what happened. Here’s what may be the last update on this case:
[Alaina</a> Giordano: Lost Cancer Battle, but Won Right to See Her Kids Before Death | TIME.com](<a href=“http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/05/alaina-giordano-lost-cancer-battle-but-won-the-right-to-see-her-kids-before-death/]Alaina”>Alaina Giordano: Lost Cancer Battle, but Won Right to See Her Kids Before Death | TIME.com)</p>