<p>D has already had first shot, second one due in January, and third in the summer, after she comes back from school. She said it wasn’t a bad shot. Our ob/gyn is a dear friend and he was thrilled when we brought it up first - the vaccine wasn’t even available then yet. As D said, a few shots is a lot better than the alternative.</p>
<p>My daughter just got her first one. She’s 15, and not planning on sexual activity, but I’d rather have it in place. I am a big believer in vaccines, maybe because I am a nurse… I have been vacc’ed for Hep B as well as all my kids… and we did Hep A as well (when my friend’s son got Hep A from eating seafood in Cape Cod I was happy we’d done it). My kids had the chicken pox vaccine too.</p>
<p>My friend’s college age daughter got the warts, felt devastated. I just figure, if there’s a chance to prevent something that causes cancer, it could be worth it.</p>
<p>AFPrep, I think your point about “forbidding” a daughter to have sex before marriage is unrealistic. </p>
<p>My 14 year old daughter had never given us a moment’s trouble. Good student, hates alcohol, nice friends, etc. Now she has a boyfriend (her 2nd one) and she thinks she is IN LOVE with him and no one has ever felt as strongly as they do about one another… you know the story. Anyway, I thought they were always well supervised but got the shock of my life when I accidentally overheard part of her phone conversation one night. Turns out they told had his parents they were going out “for a walk” but snuck off to have sex instead! When I asked her why (because she had always said she would wait until she got married) she said because they love each other and there was “no where else to go” with their relationship - I guess meaning since they’re too young to be engaged, they could have sex to show how much they loved each other. I would NEVER have believed it of her. She also insists this is the norm at our competitive suburban high school. </p>
<p>We have strongly limited when and where she is allowed to see the boyfriend in the future. It’s a tough balancing act, because I believe they really do care about one another, and by keeping them apart we’re just adding to the “drama” in a Romeo & Juliet type of way. (Fighting against the unfeeling adults in order to be together is just so romantic!) </p>
<p>In the mean time, to be realistic, I guess I should get her the HPV vaccine at her next checkup. She is absolutely needle-phobic, though. Perhaps this will be a good lesson for her - if she is going to take adult risks with her health, she will have to pay the adult consequences (ie the vaccine and pap smears).</p>
<p>Momneedsadvice, what exactly is it about your daughter having sex that turns you off? You say she’s a responsible girl…why the stuff about “NEVER would have believed it of her” and “strongly limited” etc.?
Basically, what I’m asking is, why are you disciplining your daughter over this? You act like the vaccine and the routine medical procedure of a pap smear are some sort of punishment that she deserves for sexual delinquency.</p>
<p>Edit: If it’s a religious or moral issue, I take back everything.</p>
<p>Eli, did you notice that she’s only FOURTEEN? She’s a hs freshman!</p>
<p>We have both religious and moral objections to her giving herself away at such a young age. Not to mention exposing herself to diseases, etc. </p>
<p>In many ways she is mature and responsible, but in others… at 14 she is naive and gullible. When I confronted her (gently) with what I had overheard on the phone and she admitted what they had done, she cried. “It’s not like it is on TV and in the movies! Why do they lie?” Gee, two hs freshman sneaking off to have sex for the first time, is it any wonder it was awkward and uncomfortable? I really hate that her first experience was like that. </p>
<p>In time, when she is older, she will meet the right person and I know she will wish she had waited. I’m also concerned that anyone else she dates in hs will expect her to have sex. “You did it with him, why won’t you do it with me?” But of course she doesn’t see that now.</p>
<p>I don’t think health care is a punishment. But if she thinks she’s old enough to have sex, then she’s old enough to take care of her body. That means the vaccine and gyn exams. We’re talking about a girl with a severe needle phobia. The last time she had blood drawn she cried all the way to the drs office, hyperventilated during the procedure (despite a very kind and gentle phlebotomist) and was still shaking when we arrived home. She has already said that she does not think she “needs” this vaccine, but the pediatrician and I have already discussed it. The dr agrees that the wishful “it won’t happen to me” thinking is very powerful in teens. As her parent, I have to be the voice of reason.</p>
<p>Momneeds…
Please stick to your conviction to get her the vaccination. We are still helping our daughter deal with the fact that the love of her life gave her HPV, then walked away with her heart and she is older than your daughter.</p>
<p>Tears to the office and hyperventilating is worth preventing what we have been through. You sound likea great mom with a good relationship with your D, keep the communication open with her so she understands.</p>
<p>That makes a lot of sense, Momneedsadvice. High school freshman!</p>