Moving (or not) across states during HS years and its impact

UPDATE : We moved before the academic year started. The kids wanted to be together as a family even after considering the downside of moving. Kids’ teachers, mentors, their friends (and their parents), our friends offered every possible help including keeping our kids at their homes; can’t thank them enough.
D has lost a lot in this move but still is very happy to see her dad every day. She really wanted to connect with him before moving out.

Thanks to this wonderful forum, and the experienced, insightful people who shared so many amazing details I could never have thought about, this experience of moving at this stage of our lives has become a lot more bearable. I can’t thank you all enough!

As always, @ucbalumnus 's insightful inputs helped a lot, especially, while making the decision for early graduation from HS. I really appreciate the fine details in all your posts. D was not ready for the early graduation and the next chapter yet. I will keep the college GPA requirements in mind as well. Thank you, ucb!

Thank you, @thumper1 for giving so many different options! I could not have thought of many of them. The practical aspect of ABET accreditation when people are hired stands out to me. It helps keep many options open.

I am still re-reading your post, @twoinanddone. The kids went through some of the experiences. They were mentally prepared. Thank you!

Thank you, @1518mom for the suggestion. We just can not afford the expenses for two different places. Also, we have lost too many years being as a family.

You hit it on the nail @AboutTheSame. This moving proved to be really harsh for D just the way you mentioned. She is paving her way through it. Thank you for sharing your experience!

@melvin123 ,there was a cultural shock for sure. Thanks to your post, the kids were prepared for it before we made the decision. Boy, it was not as easy in practice though. Thank you!

@Sybylla , it just boiled down to numbers in the end - the days left for us to be together, and the finances of keeping 2 places. I really see and did see at that time what you mean. Thank you so much for thinking of the kids’ interests first!

Your post regarding the possibility of scholarship in privates opened a new door for us, @mamaedefamilia . Thank you so much for sharing that information!

We did some research before we made the decision as pointed out by @HImom . Thank you for pointing out so many details!

The hardest part was to leave so many options behind at that in-state cost in terms of UCs/CSUs as @eandesmom pointed out. Thank you, @eandesmom ,for all your inputs, and especially, the very meticulous list of the admissions and the scholarships. It continues to help a lot!

Thank you, @Cheeringsection for pointing out that privates is not always out of financial reach!

Thank you all!!

Just reminding again…the OOS cost of Cal Poly SLO is within reach for you and your stated budget if your student takes the student loan.

Thanks for the update!!

Good to hear from you @collegeandi ! Please keep us posted as the search unfolds. There are many affordable ABET accredited colleges within a days drive of PA if she wants to stay closer and lots more if she is willing to fly farther from your new home. Enjoy your time together!!

Late to the thread, but I thought I’d give some thoughts. We moved, and it was because of work, so we really had no choice. (Theoretically, we did, but realistically, the new job offered so much more money it was a no brainer). I moved in February of D19’s freshman year, leaving the wife and D19 in AZ for a few months to finish school before they moved to TX with me for 10th through 12th grade.

Everyone adjusted well. She has a ton of friends at the new school, yet still keeps in contact with her old friends via social media and texting. We still go back to AZ twice a year, so she sees her closest friends when we return.

Biggest change was that we lived in an average school district. D19 was at the top of her class and only had a single B from 1st through 9th grade. We moved to one of the top school districts here. She’s not doing as well. She won’t even be in the top 10 percent. However, I think it was still a good decision. She’s learned study habits that she never had before (she literally never studied before starting 10th grade). And study habits and working hard will be more valuable in the future than graduating at or near the top of her school back in AZ.

Biggest negative for her is that a lot of her classmates here in TX have been friends for a long time. People have known each other since 1st grade. Or at least since junior high. She has friends, but I don’t think they are as close as the friends she had in AZ. But she’ll be going through that again when she leaves for college anyway, so I don’t think that’s a huge deal.

CPSLO is highly selective for engineering majors, though.

The other CSUs are similar in cost to CPSLO. However, many of them are more commuter-based schools. Of the others with a selection of engineering programs, San Diego, Chico, San Francisco, San Jose, and Pomona are among the more residential ones (but they still have a substantial percentage of commuter students, up to about half).

The Pennsylvania equivalent of CSUs, the PASSHE schools, do not appear to have any with engineering (except one campus with computer engineering).

It’s not quite the same thing, but without moving my daughter changed schools between 10th and 11th grades. She went from a private school where she had been since kindergarten, and where her social status was rock-solid, to a much, much larger public school where she only knew a few people and where, as she put it “I don’t even register as the new girl who might be interesting. I’m just one of hundreds of people you’ve never noticed one way or the other.” She hadn’t eaten lunch alone since she was 6; and she spent her first semester there with barely anyone to talk to. The handful of people she knew going in were not the people who were likely to be her friends. And lots of people at the new school had been together since at least 5th grade. The friendship circles seemed impossible to break into.

She never made a ton of close friends at the new school, but when the dust cleared she had made one great friend who has really been her #1 friend from that period in her life. Because we didn’t move, she actually kept most of her other friends from the original school, and 13 years later she is still close to some of them. But the friend from the new school turned out to be the real soulmate . . . not to mention a way more positive influence than her private school friends.

Those first few months were very hard. And there were some real issues transitioning between the schools’ very different curriculums, grading systems, and cultures. But things worked out just fine in every respect – friends, college, education. She became much more resilient and self confident as a result of the experience, too.

@thumper1 , CalPoly SLO is on her list. She has done well on her standardized testing - SAT first and single attempt 1550 and ACT 35 in single sitting - without any tutoring. She did not do as well to be NMF but will be commended if it means anything. I am happy for her.

It seriously is. No kidding.

@ucbalumnus , I guess most CA colleges are highly selective for EE/CSE majors. She is a math enthusiast, and good at it as well. She just wants to do CSE or Math with CS minor. I will keep that in mind while pulling up a list of colleges.

@collegeandi,

I have considered early college too. I have considered a lot over many years. I know many kids who went to (some times radically) early 4 years college, and they are all successful. Someone who I don’t want to identify could have been graduating college this year instead of finishing 10th grade.

But it’s not the most successful and/or happiest choice for everyone who can do it. I think it depends on what your d’s long term plan is. Academically, all the kids who went to 4 years for STEM early were (often much) more advanced in math than your d who will take Calc AB in Junior, which is just a norm at highly competitive high schools. I see your d is very smart, but not necessarily exhausted what more she can learn from high school experience.

You don’t want to do something just because you can and others can’t. I believe that a radical decision like this should have a good reason and benefits. Make a careful decision. And good luck.

P.S. for someone like your d, privates can be cheaper than in-state, especially after staying till 12th grade.

Yes, @gusmahler , D is going through the initial friend-making phase right now. It is pretty much what your D went through. We have moved many times before. It was easier for her to make friends then. She keeps in touch with her old friends even today. The high school kids get really busy by this time, and hardly have any time left to form new connections. The good news is - it is not as bad now as it was for the first 1.5-2 months when she was new.

I am happy that your D is doing well now. Wish her the best!

I see what you mean @JHS . The kids form all the clicks by the time they become high schoolers. From what you have mentioned, I am hoping she will find at least one such friend here. She calls/ facetimes her old friends every time she has something to talk about. I am happy to have her old friends, from all the previous places, in her life even today. But I wish she has someone here as well. Your D’s experience gives me hope.

I will definitely keep updating our journey @Cheeringsection .

What really helped D19 make friends at the new school was her sport. The girls on her cross-country team are really nice and it was an easy way to start school with people you already know from XC practice.

PASSHE system engineering opportunities…Pennsylvania State universities

http://www.sru.edu/news/081717a
SRU’s ABET Programs:
Computer Science, BS
Information Technology, BS
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=937
http://www.sru.edu/news/040716e

CALU
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=901
Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering Technology
http://www.calu.edu/academics/programs/electrical-engineering-technology/index.htm

Shippensburg:2 engineering programs with ABET
http://www.passhe.edu/FactCenter/ActionPlans/Act2016SHPres.pdf
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=907

ABET - IUP
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=521
https://www.iup.edu/safetysciences/

Edinboro ABET
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=7105

Millersville ABET
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=523

Bloomsburg ABET
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=982

East Stroudsburg ABET
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=7049

West Chester ABET
http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramsDetails.aspx?OrganizationID=5787

New Programs
http://www.passhe.edu/answers/Pages/New_Programs.aspx

It may be too small for her but since it is geographically close, I will suggest Valparaiso University. My DS16 is studying EE there and loves it. Your DD would qualify for merit that would put it within your budget. It is private so no issues with OOS vs IS.

Re: #94

Except for Shippensburg (with computer engineering and software engineering), all of the ABET accreditations in the PASSHE schools are in computer science or engineering *technology/i.

The difference between engineering and engineering technology:
http://www.abet.org/accreditation/new-to-accreditation/engineering-vs-engineering-technology/
http://www.rit.edu/emcs/admissions/academics/majors/engineering-tech-or-engineering

I agree with you, @SculptorDad . D decided to give up the early graduation path last June. She has already skipped a grade. She would have started college at 16 if she were to graduate early.

She also decided to go slow on math to give herself some space for other activities she wanted to explore during middle school. If she would have continued on the earlier track, she would have finished APCalcBC as a 10th grader.

ETA: Sorry, I don’t really remember how to “quote”; returned to CC after many months.
ETA: Got it now!

96

Thank you, @ucbalumnus for pointing out the finer details. I believe, she wants to do EE/CSE not the EE/CSE technology.

Thank you, @Cheeringsection for suggesting Valparaiso and the possible merit aid. I think its time for getting the list together.