Mine wouldn’t even apply locally even though we assured him we would never just drop in on him. so, no, that would not have worked for us.
@VaBluebird my D also didn’t want to go to the local universities, even though many of her classmates from high school will be going there. I keep thinking her new city will be big enough for both of us, but if Atlanta isn’t, maybe TC isn’t either (from her perspective). I’ll keep that in mind…
If I were in your shoes, I would move where my daughter is moving, for financial reasons as well as to be their for her in time of need. You will save money on tuition, living and airfares. Once she is done then you can reevaluate situation. You may want to stay there if she gets settled or you liked the area for permenant residence. If not then you can move to Florida and she can spread her wings and go wherever life takes her. She will be more independent financially and more mature so you’ll not be as concerned about her. YMMV.
Do you want to move somewhere where you D might only be for 4-ish years???
@WorryHurry411 I don’t think I’d want to live with her, and she has scholarships to cover most of tuition, room and board, but saving on airfare and being there for her as needed would be great! I could see Target runs and other outings from time to time as beneficial.
You said your D was “nervous and ambivalent” about the idea. The college experience is hers to have - her stepping out, growing and continuing on the road to independence. IMO, her thoughts and opinions should come first. She may think differently in a year - or not. But this is HER journey and if I was her, I can definitely see feeling like “mom” was following me and it would not be my journey alone. Which would be important to me.
@abasket Yeah, I’ve asked myself if that’s where I would want to retire or not, and stay much longer than four years, because I don’t plan on following her everywhere…
My reservation…college is four years. What will you do if/when your kiddo relocates after graduation? Move again?
Are you sure you want to exchange Atlanta winters for Minneapolis winters? I’m not sure I would…and I live in the northeast. When I move…eventually…it will be for milder winters with minimal to no snow removal…not more.
@thumper1 I knew someone who lived most of his life in Hawaii and then retired to the mountains of Colorado and loved it. People can get sick of having one season all the time, or a snow-less winter like we mostly have in Atlanta, and dream of experiencing the winter lifestyle for a change. I was 11 the first time I saw snow, and it was like a miracle. Have hardly seen it much since then, so I think I might enjoy it. But I understand your point about what will I do four years from now – wouldn’t want to follow her around then again. So I need to be careful to only move to TC if it looks like a place I want to move long-term for myself, and stay after she moves on…
Here’s what I’d be worrying about: how far will she have to move next time to finally shake you off? Antarctica?
Seriously, the answer to this isn’t obvious. If she were going to a more obvious retirement location, it could make a lot of sense.
When D and her friends were applying for Us, she told me that she thought one of her friends would have their mom move to be in whatever city she attended college in (that didn’t happen). That D moved after college to NYC where she claims she has her “dream job,” and is editing manuscripts in both French & English at a publishing house where she’s happy.
I don’t think you have to move to TC committed to stay there long-term. If you have the freedom with your work to move as you like, that gives you flexibility. You might decide to be closer to family in Florida after a few years of being so far away. Or you might choose another part of the country you’d like to experience and spend a few years somewhere else.
So many factors in your own life can influence your future decisions. It’s great to have a plan, but also a good idea to realize that other factors might cause you to make a different decision in a few years.
@Hunt your comment is actually funny because she dreams of doing research in Antarctica. But I get your point. She applied to colleges far away mainly because she dreamed of going to a place with snow ever since she was little, so everywhere she applied has snow, and UMN gave the best scholarships. That’s about the sum of it. I think escaping parents was not a primary consideration, but I’ll explore that…
I am mostly consider moving (or getting a longer term rental) where my kids are settling AFTER college, since so much can happen between HS, college and getting careers fully launched and then starting family. I’d prefer to move (or have long visits) where they intend to raise their families, so I can see their little ones when they are growing up.
I do know one guy who moved to CA when his kids were in HS. It was for a new job that paid MUCH more and allowed him to get residency in CA. His kids are attending college as in-state residents. His wife is living in HI, in their family home and they plan to retire there after he’s done at his CA job. They are having two residences all these years and he flies down to HI when he can to spend long weekends with his wife, kids and extended family. It has been a bit rough on the single-parent wife.
If I had moved to be closer to my kid #1, who is 29, I would have lived in five cities by now (all of them on the West Coast, which is across the continent from where I live now).
If I had moved to be closer to my kid #2, who is almost 26, I would have lived in two cities by now and be planning to move to a third next year (and the cities in question are in three different time zones).
Does the current generation ever “land” anywhere? I see no signs of it happening to my offspring in the near future.
D has been in the same city and within miles of the U she graduated for the past 5 years. S has been in the same area since he started work in 2011, so yes, kids are all different. Their friends have mostly not moved around much either from wherever they first started working.
my 2 cents, sounds great, but let her make the ground rules about contact, or at least let her think she is making the ground rules 
My brother and his wife have lived near U of M for over 30 years. I went to school in Wisconsin. I now live in Colorado, which has far more pleasant winters than the upper midwest.
Frankly, the winters are terrible. Unless you really love frigid cold and snow from Nov to April…my SIL who grew up in Illinois and lived for a time in the mountains of Montana, is so over the Minnesota winters.
Plus what if your d does not like it there and decides to transfer?
Never under estimate the value of being near elderly parents. My MIL suddenly fell seriously ill. last month. Fortunately we live close which allows my h to juggle his job with helping out his parents. It would be so much harder if we were a airplane ride away rather than a short car ride.
My kids are like gnats as well. My one kiddo seems to have “settled” someplace, but it’s not a place I would choose to live at or near. The second kiddo is going to be doing a lot of moving around before settling down.
When the time comes, I’ll go where it’s nice for me…and convenient to a major airport.
Here is a suggestion…why don’t you rent an apartment on the TCs next year from January to end of March. See what you think of it…then make a decision.
Yes, I’m a strong advocate of renting a place for several months (or even a year), to be SURE you are happy at wherever you are thinking of relocating. So many try it and find it doesn’t work out well and then have sold their home and can’t afford to buy back into the real estate market or just have more hassles relocating back.