We did a multi level of care facility for my mom without a buy in but the per month cost was high ($8K), and there were multiple times where we had to hire a private aide to be with her because even in memory care there wasn’t enough staffing.
We went with that particular facility because my dad could have moved to the Independent Living side but he died in his sleep before he needed it.
It seems like the nicer places by us all have buy ins.
A few year ago when I was looking into places for my mother, I came across this link that was very helpful. Hope it helps someone here.
My FIL had to move from the two bedroom he shared with his wife to a much smaller one bedroom unit after she passed away. There was no option for him to stay in the larger unit. They started out in a nice detached home and once they needed assisted living had to wait quite a while before a 2 bedroom became available. This was a non-profit facility.
My mom was allowed to keep the 2 bedroom unit she and dad originally had as long as we kept paying for it. They did offer her the option of moving to a smaller unit for smaller monthly payment. We thought it was better for her to stay where she was and this way, there was an extra bedroom where one of us (or more) could spend the night, when we wanted her to have company but she didn’t need someone at her bedside.
As long as you stayed in independent living, you had more options. Once you were in AL, skilled nursing, nursing home or memory care, the org made decisions.
If you got food at casual takeout, no extra charge. If it was delivered to you, there was an extra charge.
Any experience in MUCH smaller ‘group homes’?
My neighbor put his mom into a small group home. She was there less than a month before she passed away, but he said that the place was awesome. The woman who ran it truly cared about the residents. Her adult kids helped out a lot, and they also were wonderful to the residents. The place is very unassuming, on a main street - I had passed it for years and honestly thought it was not a place I would want to put a loved one. I was pleasantly surprised to be wrong.
I have a friend who used something similar for her mom. Sounded wonderful.
Our neighbor had her mom in a very small family group home. Her mom was mostly bed bound. She was pleased that her mom had good care there and it was OK for her and her husband and son to visit and the owners would make meals that they could eat with her. She lived there for several years, I believe and it was just a few blocks from her home and close to her daughter and grandson’s homes.
Another family member had their father go to a different family care home where he was able to get the 24/7 care he needed. They were very happy with the care he received there. He was blind and very unsteady on his feet but seemed pretty satisfied with his care.
Small family care homes really vary greatly. The one listed 1st is in my neighborhood and is a regular house but they have enough bedrooms and space to provide care. The owners are a retired chef (of Japanese restaurant) and a nurse. I’m not sure what other help they may have. It has very limited space. My friend was referred by her pastor, whose church is very near the house and also in our neighborhood.
My in-laws went to a place near their home. They bought their 2 BR unit for a price that was not so different from what a unit would cost in a “regular” community in that town. Everyone paid some fee every month that included a certain # of meals. There were a lot of activities - concerts, talks, films, exercise classes, etc. There was also an option to pay more for AL. A few months after they moved in, the AL option was discontinued, and they were really upset. They both stayed to their respective deaths, and we brought in outside help for my FIL for his last few years. This community, in the NE, had a lot of snowbirds, so grumbling about paying for meals/services on owned but empty units was common. It was on a golf course, and felt almost resort-y.
My mom lives in a community that is all rentals. Breakfast and lunch or dinner is included as is weekly cleaning as are tons of activities. There are lots of services in the building, from PT, OT, a hairdresser, and a doctor and nurse who come to the apartment. You can also buy time in 15 minute increments, and because the service is for the whole building, they don’t encourage buying more time than you need. (My mom started using this a few months ago, and those 15 minutes in the morning have been a godsend!) The facility has full AL and memory care. So far, and it’s been a couple of years, this has worked out well. There are also stand-alone units (cottages) that are occupied by slightly younger residents who want some of the services.
There is a place near me that has a number of housing options as part of its “village”. Stand alone brownstone units, apartments, memory care, hospice. I have known a number of people who have gone there over the years. Higher cost at the outset. Unlike the places where my in-laws and mom have been, the food service is offered in a more family like setting-- not a large dining room. I can see the benefits, but also the downside as one could feel trapped with the “wrong” friends. This one also has childcare on the premises for its employees and those of nearby businesses, and the kids can mix with the residents in several ways (which the residents love.)
Each of these 3 have a bit of a different model and focus, both in their financial model and how they provide service. I can say that for all of them, staffing is always a challenge.
@somemom I think does…
We used a variety of care options across the end days of 4 parents. This was all around a decade or more ago, so prices have likely changed. But we saw:
Parent live with kids
Parent in their own place with in home care, nearly round the clock (live in but some day times off) for $10-12k monthly
At a facility with all levels:
IL & AL & SNF
SNF would be $9-10k
Moved to a care home instead of SNF , $3500 for one person, $4500 for another person
Same owner of multiple care homes, so consistency of pricing, it had to do with incontinence and other levels of help
I liked the board and care home because of the consistency of the live in aides and owner. People could learn the idiosyncrasies that made life better for the folks. Who needs a glass of ice water available all the time, who needs whatever other tiny things. The larger places would have been a struggle to get those little kindnesses that really affected quality of life.
We did hospice, some parents in the board and care, some in a home setting. The quality of hospice was regionally dependent. My area stunk, the other area was quite good.
Honestly, the very best thing for us about the move to board and care was that the querulous parent no longer had a phone in their room. That every single morning call with complaints- poof, gone. Those days of 20-30 calls about the same thing- either because it was not yet fixed or they forgot they had called, gone.
There was a phone they could use, but the extra effort dramatically improved our lives!
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