I would agree that most programs are actually fairly supportive. My son goes to Boston Conservatory and was not expecting any kindness and actually did not even consider that as a criterion for applications. However, when he was a bit blue because of a long distance break up that was underway, one of his teachers emailed him asking if everything was okay. He had noticed that my son was a bit distant in class and wanted to check in and make sure that he was ok. Another teacher, without knowing the break up story, noted in an end of semester meeting that around that time my son made great advancements in vulnerability around Thanksgiving and asked what had changed around that time. So my impression is that even schools with a reputation for being intense are filled with very caring and intuitive professors.