Musicians and Parents - Introduce yourself!

College Majors Music Majors
281

<p>mihan: Check out these threads that I had seen a while ago. Maybe they can give you some “ammunition” for your discussions with your parents, or maybe you can share with them. As an RN married to an MD, I can attest to the fact that, while the income may be good compared to the average, it is shrinking, as is the “prestige” of the profession and the satisfaction that the practitioners derive from it. At the same time the stress, threat of lawsuits, hours, hassles of dealing with insurance cos. and hospital admin. (and even, unfortunately, dealing with other doctors), etc. all are on the increase. Most doctors I know say that they love taking care of their patients, but that they hate all the other “crap”. About a 50/50 split on whether or not they would do it again (my H. is in the 50% that would). Interestingly, we know very few kids-of-physicians who are planning on medical school! I have one engineer and two who are hoping for classical music careers. Husband always says that you have to really want it and be willing to make the personal sacrifices (kind of like budding musicians!). On the other hand, there is a huge need and shortages (of both MDs and RNs) predicted. Who will be left to take care of us? Kind of scary.</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/467871-what-do-you-think-med-school-worth-kids.html?highlight=is+medical+school+worth+it%3F[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/467871-what-do-you-think-med-school-worth-kids.html?highlight=is+medical+school+worth+it%3F&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/226872-mds-out-there-you-happy.html?highlight=is+medical+school+worth+it%3F[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/226872-mds-out-there-you-happy.html?highlight=is+medical+school+worth+it%3F&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

282

<p>My husband is also a doctor and hates what’s happening to medicine. Reimbusmensts drop, malpractice insurance goes up, rents go up, which in turn makes ones salary decrease. My H wishes he could find something else to do b/c its no longer practicing medicine its covering your ass. People love to sue. We’ve always told our daughter DO NOT BECOME A DOCTOR (unless of course its plastic surgery I could definitely use a little nip or tuck for free). It is so important to love what you do b/c no moeny can buy happiness!!!</p>

283

<p>Hi all! I’ve been scouring these boards all night long!! Like so many have said before me, I really reallllly wish I’d know about this site when my son began his journey. I have no musical background at all, except being able to tell what sounds good and what doesn’t! I’d be great at “simon cowells” job, :slight_smile: After all these years watching my son grow vocally, I have finally started to get a glimmer of what this is all about. My son, originally planned to pursue a double degree in vocal performance/music ed. He only auditioned for two schools and luckily was offered substantial $$ to both. He went with his first choice, Oberlin. Of course they offered less then his other choice, but it was still better then we’d expected. He called after the spring opera of his fresh year to tell us, that after verrrrrry careful consideration, he’s gonna bag the music ed, degree and just focus on vp. I kind of knew that was going to happen. I at least knew (better then he did) that it would be much harder then he anticipated going for both degrees. He has never regretted that decision and we’re fine with it. I have a daughter who attends Colgate University as a Biology major. They are both Juniors now…and so, it starts all over again!!! Grad schools!! YIKES!!!</p>

284

<p>Hi, I’m just starting this music journey. My S will be in 8th grade. His primary instrument is french horn. He also plays trumpet, piano and sings. I’m familiar with how to grow a ballerina but not a musician. That’s why I’m here. Binx, I look forward to talking with you particularly.</p>

285

<p>I’d be happy to help, hornmom! You’re getting a really early start!</p>

286

<p>Prior planning prevents poor performances. I’m also a ballet mom and things start about 4 years earlier and end a couple of decades earlier for their careers. I 'd rather be early than late. i’ll post particular questions on another thread. Thanks, Binx.</p>

287

<p>I’m a music ed major from Western Washington just starting my freshman year of college at Shoreline Community College (well, technically I already started - I did spring quarter but this coming school year will be my first full year). I plan on transferring to Central Washington University once I get my DTA because their music ed program kicks much butt. (And they have a musical theater minor for music ed majors, which is do want.) My main instrument is flute - been playing for ten years - but I also play saxophone, steel drums, clarinet, and piccolo. So far, anyway. :smiley: I was planning on being a classical flute performance major for a long time but about a year and a half ago I decided I’d rather teach, so I’m doing that instead. </p>

<p>I’m also double majoring in Japanese, lol.</p>

288

<p>I’m a long-time lurker who finally made the plunge to join in. I have found CC to be enormously beneficial, especially during the college app process with older son. Now we’re starting all over again with younger son–who will be a junior and is looking at clarinet performance. Clarinetmom–from the looks of our user names, we must have lots in common :slight_smile: I will look forward to your postings.</p>

289

<p>Hi Clarimom,
I have gotten lots of info that I would be happy to share with you. My daughter is entering her junior year also and we just booked our 1st college visit. Where do you live and in what region does your son want to go to college? PM me.</p>

290

<p>My story is a bit different then some of the others on here. I am the parent (along with my wife) of an 8th grade violinist who in the last year and half made the right angle turn, after playing violin since he was about 4 1/2, to being “serious” (he just turned 13). He has a high level teacher, and to give you an idea of the level he is trying for, we homeschool him because the 4-5 hours of practice he does a day would be impossible if he went to a regular school, private or public. </p>

<p>It amazes me the passion he has, and the dedication, because as others have pointed out, there are few professions that take so much to be involved with (seriously I am talking about) with seemingly so few rewards and a lot of frustrations. On the violin, it borders to the nearly insane, it is an instrument that to be even just really good takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears and to be at the top, a miracle, with competitition that staggers people who don’t know it (want an example? In Juiliard’s pre college violin program, they had something like 8 open slots this year, with 150+ kids trying out for it, from all over the world). Obviously, every instrument has its own story in terms of difficulty and advantages, which is something that you need to take into consideration when helping your child make plans (for example, a lot of kids want to play violin, but relatively few want to play the viola, so all the way up the ladder it is a lot easier to get admitted or hired as a viola player then a violinist; on the other hand, while there are relatively few of them competing, tubists have a hard time because most orchestras only have 1)</p>

<p>In the end, what I have found, all we can do is love them, support them, make sure they can tie their shoelaces by the time they leave home, and let the rest go as it will:)</p>

291

<p>musicprnt-</p>

<p>Great post. I share your amazement of the dedication our kids have. You are at the ‘beginning’ of your journey, we are a bit further along. We are parents of one of those tubists, now applying for graduate performance programs.</p>

<p>Best of luck to your family. You will find alot of support here!</p>

292

<p>It is amazing what our kids do! I am the mother of a high school senior who is applying for flute performance. We are in the process of finishing all application requirements and starting the audition run with hopes that she will be one of the very few that are taken. D attends a wonderful public school that puts a lot of emphasis on music. She is graduating in the top of her class, taking all AP and honors, performs in all music groups in school, travels 1 1/2 hours on Saturday mornings to be part of an incredible youth orchestra and practices about 3 hours a day ect… Not to even mention the lessons. This is a very common description for music kids, I know. What she is experiencing now is the…“my friends just do not get it” issue. They do not understand why she chooses to stay home and practice instead of going out with them now that marching band season is over (some school districts call it football season, our band is what draws the crowds to the games!!) This seems to be the only thing that can get to her. She is excited about the auditioning, the traveling. So, I agree. I think that these kids are truly a breed of their own.
So, how is the journey for grad schools going? D is planning to go the same route. I know it is not easy. I wish you the very best.</p>

293

<p>Notfromme: What your D is facing with her friends is so common! But someday they will be so envious and proud of her! When my S (now in grad school) was in 7th grade, friends were comparing what CDs they’d gotten for Christmas - all pop stuff. My S, when asked, said he’d gotten Mozart’s 4 horn concertos. The other kids complained and told him he needed to get a life. He said he had one. Over the years, he has developed a somewhat necessary “arrogance” (He is an extremely humble guy otherwise; I use this word carefully) that has allowed him to remain focused on his music and to develop the confidence needed in a performing artist.</p>

<p>musicprnt - String players are in a category by themselves as far as practice requirements. Top string players do practice long hours, and many are, of necessity, homeschooled. My D is also a violinist, but without the passion needed to go that long. She feels she has done a lot if she practices 2 hours. (And I’ve seen her practice; I’ll bet she’s not on task that whole two hours!) Although she is a performance major (NOT conservatory), she has no intention of full-time performance as her livelihood. The violinists we know who have gone on to major schools are like your son - pouring their lives into it. </p>

<p>My S’s friend, who is a year older than him, was homeschooled, won all sorts of competitions, went to Juilliard. Her siblings are also performers, and she has a brother who went to Curtis. During her third year she developed an injury probably related to her long hours of practicing. After multiple doctors, surgeries, etc, she can no longer play. She is on her 3rd or 4th college now, feeling her way through a non-music major, and I’ve lost track of her a bit.</p>

<p>The story breaks my heart; she had such amazing talent. I share it only to acknowledge the drive that violinists must have, and the dangers they face in overdoing it. Brass players, like my S, just don’t have the same temptation to over practice - because they physically can’t. In fact, my S had orchestra rehearsal yesterday morning, and an audition in the late afternoon which did not go as well as he’d hoped because he was still stiff from the morning rehearsal.</p>

<p>He does spend hours on music, though - reading scores, listening to various recordings, etc. But is not in any physical danger from it!</p>

294

<p>It’s very hard to acknowlege that these young musicians need balance in their lives–it is quite a feat to stay focussed on the music and also have a place in which to be a kid. This might actually be a good topic for a separate thread–how do student musicians bring balance to their lives?</p>

295

<p>Balance?
What a concept!
Our tuba playing son ‘balances’ long hours of tuba with other long hours of electric bass and electric guitar. Tuba is his life but the others are his relaxation.
Garage bands with college friends, low paying but enjoyable gigs,etc.
Some Playstation 3 but not much.</p>

<p>He also recently built an electric guitar from individual parts purchased on the net. It cost him much $$$ and more time and he’s not really a guitar player! But it is beautiful to look at and he’s very please with the sound which is apparently all his own.</p>

<p>Love to hear what other music kids do.</p>

296

<p>Jazz drummer here is pretty balanced–varsity soccer, mock trial, lots of community service and varsity tennis. His drumming life is pretty busy, but miraculously rarely conflicts with the rest of his world. He is used to multi-tasking, and I think something would fall off if he didn’t have both legs and both hands going at the same time! I get exhausted just keeping the calendar…it is going to be REALLY quiet when he’s gone next year, even with another boys still at home!</p>

297

<p>My drummer is also a multitasker beyond belief. He TAs the African drum class at his college, works two part time jobs (and not because we told him to), plays in a band, cooks Indian food with friends, plays guitar and bass, and that’s just a small list. I think drummers are hyperkinetic!</p>

<p>I’m not sure how the son who is a freshman at NEC is including much outside of music into his life at the moment. This seems to really be the time of total immersion for him, but he seems happy. Like I have said before, jazz seems to be such a social experience. Even when they are playing in their ensembles they are talking to each other, standing back and admiring one another’s solos, chatting. It’s quite interesting and somehow not terribly pressured. I might have a simplistic view of it, but I sort of think he would agree–I’ll have to ask him if I’m seeing this right.</p>

298

<p>My S considers eating and sleeping to be extra curricular activities, and fits them in when his pursuit of all things musical allows.</p>

299

<p>Daughter is head chef in charge of preparing dinner for 80 students twice a week as part of her co-op. We ate one of her vegan meals this past weekend at parents weekend - black bean burgers, sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts, a tossed salad, bread baked that afternoon, apple crisp and fresh apple cider. It was very good indeed, and I am by no means vegan or even vegetarian. We tell her (only half in jest) that, if the music thing doesn’t work out, she could cook for a living.</p>

300

<p>Just a quick follow-up on the physical demands that Binx noted:</p>

<p>String players (and pianists) may be the amoungst the first to develop injury due to practice routines, but other instrumentalists can also be “at risk” for tendonitis, repetitive stress injury, etc. I have known multiple 17 - 18 year olds entering college who are already seeing physicians and chiropractors regularly for pain relief and treatment. Many more kids will develop problems during their first years of music school as they increase the length and intensity of their practice sessions.</p>

<p>Do continue to encourage your kids to find some relaxation in their daily routines for their physical health if for no other reason! Forgive me if I’ve stated the obvious to all of you - just seen too many kids distressed by their forced breaks in college practice/performing routines due to physical problems to not want to share the warning!</p>