<p>my 2 cents…</p>
<p>First off. I’m of the opinion that this problem is a big deal. There is a clear differance between chat rooms and pre-done porn. That has already been established and I agree 100%. Chat rooms is far more morally disturbing. and 3 hours a day! PROBLEMO</p>
<p>but the Manhattan argument… manhattan, I understand where your coming from. Men and women are simply hard wired differently. Porn, a visual “stimulant”, is simply more appealing to men overall because of the hard wiring. Does that justify porn for 3 hours a day? no. So does it make the boyfriend a total Dbag? Still, no. Point I’m making, and manhattan is trying to get across, is that you shouldn’t murder your boyfriend for it. Porn is more common amongst men than you may think (once again, it is a generalization. Not every guy watches porn) and that your boyfriend is indeed “normal” to SOME degree. The analogy manhattan used was that women, generally speaking of course, do the same principle. Women like to talk and express their feelings (where the therapists part comes in) as an outlet of sorts just like when men may watch porn. Obviously the comparison is a bit off because talking is “mentally/emotionally stimulating” while porn is purely physical. But the end result is still the same for both cases. They are release mechanisms that form from something that can not be described. We as humans are hard wired to like these various things. Men to porn as women to talking/expressing.
I don’t know if I completely agree with him on the cosmopolitan subject simply because I have never opened a magazine from them in my life but heres my stance on that. The undelying theme, from what I can tell, is still there. If cosmopolitan has articles about sexual stuff then that would be a written form of talking/expression which would appeal more so to women. Thus, a form of media that performs the same function as porn does for men. Implying that you cant judge the boyfriend to hard because women go through the same process of venting through some medium. Albeit talking/expressing is a different form of pleasure than porn’s physical nature.</p>
<p>And a little word of common sense. Manhattan’s whole argument is based on sterotypes of men liking porn and women liking discussion. Thats been established and for some reason or another you don’t like it. I understand stereotypes arent ALWAYS true (hince, playgirl is still around) but guess what? Typically, they are. They are excellent tools for life and should not be ignored.
Example: If some guy with a rough beard, tatoos every where, multiple piercings, pants sagging low, and a 3x shirt asked you to give him a ride would you do it? Probably not because you may consider him a thug, hoodlum, druggie, gangster or whatever word pops to your mind. THAT is a form of not one but two stereotypes. First, it is a stereotype that a thug or whatever word you used has these characteristics. Second, your using the stereotype that thugs are bad people who may do harm to you and that driving him could be dangerous. According to your previous statements it sounds you are fine with driving some thug named johnny because stereotypes aren’t always right. OK, fine. You take the risk all you want but I’m sure as hell using the stereotype to help my decision making in ensuring my safety. Stereotypes are perfectly fine as long as they aren’t abused.</p>
<p>SRY for the long post. In the end, yeah deal with his problem but don’t be too harsh(ie, leave him) because it is somewhat common. And BTW, I DONT think he is doing it because you are not providing in the relationship. You are not failing in your task as GF and there is no need to listen to the idiots who say your to blame. He simply has an addiction that needs to be throttled down.</p>