As always, lots of knee jerk reactions when a question like this comes up. If you follow the rule that the most you should ever borrow is the federal allowed amount, a pretty high percentage of middle class kids can’t ever afford to go to even their in state directional college.
Most middle class kids (under maybe $150,000 parent income) can go to a full need school for the same or less than their in state flagship. I’m assuming if Dad is talking about a prestigious school, it meets this category. Which still could mean borrowing $10-20,000 a year if the family can’t realistically contribute much.
Now, do I think it makes sense to be full pay at a no-name private college? Probably not, unless your parents for some reason are happy to make the payments. But the reality is that for a large majority of students substantial debt is the only way they will get an education. Full Stop. And if you are borrowing money, you really need to do an honest assessment of what your prospects will be upon graduation. From what I have read on this board, Engineering is a field where the name brand doesn’t help as much. If it cost an extra $5,000 a year to go to Princeton or MIT (and you are fortunate enough to have that option) it is still probably worth it. If it cost an extra $70,000 a year, then probably not. But very few students are looking at those options. The vast majority will get some aid at a full need school, and some will get very substantial aid. Until you know at least roughly what you will qualify for, it’s pretty hard to have an intelligent conversation. It doesn’t take long to run a few NPC calculators, which will give you a good idea of what the difference really is, and what the debt load will really be.