<p>Good to hear from you sunrise. You are often in my thoughts.</p>
<p>Thanks for checking in, sunrise. I’ve been thinking about you. I hope you can get your rest on the this new protocol.</p>
<p>thanks everybody. Your continuing support means SO MUCH to me! Please accept my sincere apology for not thanking individually. Please know that every word of encouragement lifts me!</p>
<p>There is one thing I never mentioned all this time. It’s about my H. He too has a very serious medical condition. It got much worse last two months. All this time, I did not mention it here out of respect for his privacy. Yesterday I got a permission from him to allude to it in a very generalized manner. Suffices that we are a couple of “sickos” who are muddling through remarkably well. </p>
<p>If some of you remember what his sister had to go through last year, well, he may have to get the same “treatment”. If you don’t recall, and you are morbidly curious, PM me. I don’t want to divulge that in public.</p>
<p>If you are imagining a family with a serious doom and gloom, you would be terribly wrong. My H and I are upbeat and, dare I even say, happy most of the time. When one of us is down, the other picks the one off the floor. It rarely happens that both of us are down. When that happens, we hold each other and sleep it off. Our children watch this happen but they understand that they have one incredibly resilient pair of parents. </p>
<p>My H does not want to go into a medical leave mostly for an emotional/psychological reason. He feels better when he works, and his condition allows him to work as long as it is not physically exerting. Luckily, his job is in high tech. He does not run around. We started to spend more resources to make it easier for both of us. His own words “we have more money than health”. he works in NYC. So, we stay in a hotel for a three days or so in the city. To avoid a long, tiring commute from NJ to NYC for H, and to avoid tracking to NYC for me for the treatment. He then works 1-2 days at home. His company is very flexible and has been terrific with this kind of accommodation. Truly deserves the moniker as one of the best places to work. It really helps me when I have a 2-3 day back to back appointments at MSKCC. We thought about buying a small studio apartment or renting one, but decided that we would start just staying at a hotel for a few days a week and see how that goes. We don’t want to make a long term commitment for any particular arrangement yet one way or the other. </p>
<p>Every time things look bad, I say to myself: this too will become something we laugh about some time in the future and turn into a bad, tasteless joke on a thanksgiving dinner. I keep saying to myself, and also to him, that we are so blessed in so many ways - there are people who live to be 100 years old and did not get the kind of blessing we got so far, and it’s an insult to people who are truly going through difficult time for us to complain about our lot in life. The kids are doing wonderfully. We are a happy family. </p>
<p>It comforts me to know that when and if we have the luxury of looking back on this year, we will have the satisfaction to know that yes we had some tough time, but we handled it the best way we could, and there is no regret about the way we conducted ourselves. That we behaved in a way that is not all about ourselves. that we continue to exert our energy externally: to see how we could be more accommodating of other people needs, and how we could show more appreciation for those who reached out to us. That’s the shred of integrity I never want to allow myself to “lose” simply because I have some serious issues of my own.</p>
<p>Wow…that is an incredible post, sunriseeast. Life affirming.</p>
<p>I may not comment on all your posts, but I read all your posts.</p>
<p>I wish the best to both you and your husband.</p>
<p>I love your attitudes.
I do not have your health problems and my attitude isn’t as postive as yours. I need to work on that.</p>
<p>Thanks for checking in, sunrise. I’m another one who thinks about you. Whenever there is a mention of people we know who need healing, I mentally add your name to the list. The One Above knows your name! :)</p>
<p>Whenever I have to do something unpleasant (today it was go in the basement crawl space to fight spiders and especially find out why it smells like a SWAMP in there) I always think, At least I have my health. So thanks for the positive vibes you send out all the time. And I do appreciate your 2-penny quack philosophy!</p>
<p>You have and will always keep so much more then mere “shreds” of integrity. How blest your sons are to have two such amazing parents demonstrating how to live life to it fullest in spite of the road blocks thrown in your way. Your sense of gratitude for and focus on the good in your life is inspiring. Thanks for sharing with us.</p>
<p>Wishing you, your H, and his sister renewed health and energy to pursue all the good things you so deserve</p>
<p>Sunrise - we are living in a temporary housing in NYC because we are waiting for our furniture to arrive from overseas. My firm is paying for it, but for the price of a hotel room you could have a kitchen, washer/dryer, 1-2 bedrooms. You may want to consider that. Your kids could use it when you and H are back in NJ.</p>
<p>Sunrise - you are such a blessing to me! Thank you for sharing. I pray you and you H do well with upcoming tx. Take good care!</p>
<p>sunrise-thank you for checking in again. I am among those posters who selfishly looks forward to reading your posts because they inspire me. I keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers regularly and like mommusic, when I am asked to add the names of people I “know” who need healing, you are always added. I am happy that you and your DH decided to do something good for yourselves and arrange to stay in the city for several days a week. I have to believe that it will help both of you to keep up your strength! Best wishes that the current protocol is the successful one.</p>
<p>Life is never what we hope for, is it? btw- you started this saga worried about your sons. How are they doing now? Hopefully they are doing well in their colleges and beyond. I’m sorry you and your H can’t fully enjoy being empty nesters. At least you were able to launch your sons so they don’t realize all of the day to day problems you are both facing. And finances are not a burden. You have a ton of social help from your CC “friends”. Tell your H he is included in our best wishes. Cherish each other- it sounds like a good marriage with the support for each other. Enjoy all of the little good things that make up your lives.</p>
<p>wis,</p>
<p>thanks for kind words. My kids are doing very well. This is something I have already considered a first priority: how to shield them and protect them from all this. Not by hiding things from them, but by being open about it but in a way that is grounded on reality and optimism. They know what we are dealing with, but they also know that we are handling it the best way we can.</p>
<p>So,far, they are concerned, but in their own personal life, they are moving forward, thriving, and being very successful both personally, academically, and otherwise professionally. S2 just got back from a 6 week cultural exchange program in Cambodia 100% sponsored by the USA government. Among all the places we have taken them to, Cambodia is not one of the places he has been to already, so it really worked out very well. Came back with amazing stories, including the experience of eating fried tarantula (eewwwwwwwww), and observations about that society in so many ways (one of the observations: everything works based on nepotism. He is so relieved that he is living in a country where meritocracy still rules to a large degree).</p>
<p>I am writing one of my periodic essays. Will be available in a couple of days. Writing has been very therapeutic for me.</p>
<p>I always look forward to reading your essays.</p>
<p>I hope you publish them as a collection in the future…I believe they would be so inspirational to others undergoing similar struggles to return to good health.</p>
<p>Sunriseeast, I’m just curious what type of cancer you are dealing with. I, too, have advanced cancer (Stage IV lung cancer). I’m in a Phase 1 clinical trial for an immunotherapy drug (MK 3475, an anti-PD 1 monoclonal antibody) which seems to be working. I consider it a moral imperative to let everyone who is battling late-stage cancer know about these types of drugs and to at least look into getting into a trial. As a cancer patient myself, I know how annoying it is when people try to suggest different therapies, but immunotherapy is going to put chemotherapy out of business. I really believe so. Anyway, even if you can’t benefit from it, perhaps someone else reading this can. I am happy to answer any questions.</p>
<p>I am a three time breast cancer survivor, I have a friend with lung cancer whose therapies have not workedthus far, so will pass this on. I just read an article on a woman wiht stage 4 triple negative BC who is NED, after trying several treatments. Thisis my prayer for you sunrise that the next plan is the “one”
Shorty so glad the immunotherapy seems to be working. gives us all hope!</p>
<p>sunrise: You have done many a mitzvah in your writings. tpshorty: You too may have written something that will help someone I know.</p>
<p>May we all regain and then keep our health. And may our children never know this suffering.</p>
<p>Amen to this: And may our children never know this suffering. </p>
<p>Thinking of sunrise and all those facing medical issues.</p>
<p>tptshorty, I am so glad that the treatment is working for you. Thank you for posting the information. I’m sure that it will help someone else.</p>
<p>ellebud: “And may our children never know this suffering.” This wish/prayer is so close to my heart. I half-expect that my husband and/or I will face major illness in the not-so-distant future, and I accept this. But the thought of my children dealing with cancer or another life-threatening disease is horrifying.</p>
<p>Really glad you’ve figured out a NYC arrangement that reduces the commuting for both you and your husband during a time when you have much more important fish to fry and don’t need the added fatigue of a long commute. </p>
<p>I’m also glad that you have each other – a great marriage is a tremendous blessing.</p>
<p>Hi Sunrise- So great to get an update from you and I am so happy to hear that your children are doing well! Also, I love hearing how supportive you and your husband are of each other. My guess is that you laugh and love a lot, and solve problems with your optimism and analytical skills. You are great! Sending wishes for a nice evening!</p>