<p>Hi sunrise! Thank you for posting. I wish you continued improvement and that your new (old) treatment protocol is just what the Dr. ordered.</p>
<p>There you go, a small silver lining from your newest ordeal. Sunrise, you are always in my thoughts, even though I do not post here all the time.</p>
<p>I am thrilled to hear that you are home and much more comfortable. Like many here, you are in my thoughts often. Waiting to hear that the new cocktail is working. Hoping this new year is a sweet and healthy one for you and your family.</p>
<p>sunrise, I have tears of joy for you. It is so good to hear your “voice,” that you are home and that the doctors have a plan for treatment. Sending much healing light your direction!</p>
<p>What hopeful news! Welcome home Sunrise.</p>
<p>Sunrise, glad to hear that you are home, and that the tests give your and your doctors some solid leads as to how best treat this cancer. Onward and upward!</p>
<p>I’m also hoping that your husband’s medical issues are resolving–haven’t forgotten him in my prayers! Blessings on your whole family.</p>
<p>I am so glad you are home and I hope you are finding a way to get some rest and heal. I am thrilled with the latest medical news as well. You are in my thoughts often.</p>
<p>Fantastic news Sunrise! I’m glad you are home, I’m glad they found that your tumors aren’t resistant to that drug…so glad for you. Hope you get to enjoy this great weather and the company of your son. Hoping too that your dh is doing better. Like so many people, you are often on my mind even if I’m haven’t posted.</p>
<p>Sunrise, I think of you often and am so glad to hear that you’re home, feeling more comfortable, enjoying the company of your son, and in possession of medical information that can be used to tailor your upcoming treatment for maximum potential. Sending good wishes your way for you and the rest of your family.</p>
<p>last several months have been a humbling experience for me.</p>
<p>I have always thought that I could handle anything, and I could generate whatever hope and optimism I need to keep myself going.</p>
<p>To be perfectly honest, after months of all this this summer, my emotional (not to mention of physical) energy reserve hit a critically low point. It’s hard to stay upbeat and hopeful when you are either in pain or severe discomfort 24 hours a day for weeks and months without a break, let alone a near death emergency. </p>
<p>I don’t know what I would have done without my H. As self sufficient as I have always tried to be, I reached a point where I needed a transfusion of hope and positive outlook from somebody, and my H did it for me. In fact, he is the only one who can do it. I remain indebted to him to the degree words cannot express how grateful I am of him.</p>
<p>His health is not ideal either and this is really understating it big time. We are two fragile people right now trying to muddle through this together. I happen to be the sicker one, so he takes more burden. Luckily, my brother in law (my H’s younger brother) flew in, and he will stay for a couple of weeks - I hope by then I will be in a better shape. We have also hired someone to come 5 times a week to help me and help around the house.</p>
<p>Yesterday was the first day that my body was more at peace. I think I hit the lowest point a few days ago. I hope I am on the upward trend in terms of improvement.</p>
<p>Through out all this, I also got to understand why some people give up. When I was taken to MSKCC for fever last Friday, the worst nightmare I had was another surgery. At that point, a thought popped into my head… “If I have to go through all that again, a death does not sound like such a bad alternative”. It was a fleeting thought but that temptation was powerful - weeks and months of unyielding pain and discomfort crushes one’s spirit.</p>
<p>When all this is under control, when I can look back some time in the future (hopefully), I will know that I earned my right to call myself a survivor.</p>
<p>sunrise-kudos to your BIL for coming to help out. Sounds like good timing. Also wonderful that you’ve hire someone to help so that you can concentrate all your attention on getting better. I am glad that you are feeling a bit better. Best wishes for a continuing recovery for both you and your husband.</p>
<p>“Fear is a habit; so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves: I can!! and I will!!”</p>
<p>This quote reminded me of you, Sunrise! Peace and joy all the way from El Paso, Texas.</p>
<p>It was a fleeting thought but that temptation was powerful - weeks and months of unyielding pain and discomfort crushes one’s spirit.</p>
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<p>Understandable … but you have much to keep you here in the present, and this is what will help you through. Draw on the strength of your family, and of all of us here who send you thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>Sleep well, Sunrise. I imagine you surrounded by all of the men in your life, and now your brother-in-law, all trying to keep you comfortable. Ongoing physical pain and mental and physical fatigue take its toll. Similarly, healing and rest can make your spirits and optimism soar. I am wishing you restorative healing and rest and peaceful, gentle moments with your dear husband. He sounds so wonderful, Sunrise. Thank you for sharing with us.</p>
<p>Sunrise, I am a really good with prayer. I know it sounds like I am bragging, kind of wierd thing to brag about! Consider you on my list! I hope that’s okay…</p>
<p>It’s always wonderful to hear from you, Sunrise. Blessings and peace to you. May you sleep deeply and restfully tonight, and your precious husband as well. We are here for you and you don’t have to be strong for us. Sending lots of love your way.</p>
<p>Thank you again, Sunrise, for sharing such intimate emotions with us. What a gift. My thoughts are also with you.</p>
<p>Sunrise, I’m happy to hear you and your H are getting some help. It will surely make things easier for the both of you. As always, sending healing prayers your way. Keep the faith!</p>
<p>Reposting a prayer first posted by boomer22 on 12-13-2010, post #70 of this thread. I think it says it all:</p>
<p>"During my treatment I was sent this Buddhist prayer:</p>
<p>May all be loved
May all be sheltered
May all be healed
May all be free from fear
May I be loved
May I be sheltered
May I be healed
May I be free from fear</p>
<p>I wish that for you."</p>