Today I’ve been busy, so not so much time to cry. I’m feeling less guilty for taking “active steps” to end my dog’s life. But when I think about it, the pain hits deep.
How do these little creatures get so deep into our hearts? I don’t know why, but I’ve cried more after euthanizing my pets than I have after losing my Mom and brother. It’s certainly not that I value my pets more than my family, but maybe because my pets had no say in how things developed. My mom and brother had advanced directives, so I had no role in how things played out. Also, I felt like I lost them long before they died, due to cognitive decline over a long period. This particular incident was so sudden in terms of one minute not doing great but still pretty normal and stable and then quickly it’s time to euthanize. I don’t know, but I feel a little weird about my reaction now vs. with my family. Stoic with people, a mess with a pet.
Thanks for all the kind words.