I don’t think any place is convenient to many areas of LA. Seems like any time I need to drive around LA, it takes me 60 minutes to get there.
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I love this! My guy hasn’t done anything THIS far out of his comfort zone, but I’m hearing over and over that getting out of your comfort zone is a great way to experience great new things. Good for you for having the courage to do that!
Thank you so much for sharing. Oh, and being in a dump surrounded by great people with whom you are connected seems like an amazing college experience! I’m glad you had that experience
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There is a Metro station adjacent to campus. USC has a transportation fee that covers the “free” Lyft and “free” Metro.
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I agree about the job especially cashier at the coffee shop or bookstore. Something where he sees and interacts with people a lot. He sounds like a great person and I bet he will find his group!
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Hi! I know that the transfer students arrive when freshman do, and have orientation. My kid is not an athlete, although they are athetic and enjoy the active culture and great weather (they play ultimate on a club team and have traveled to tournaments with their team at Pomona).
They are in an air conditioned dorm, no preference for athletes. Mine would hate if they noticed athletes getting preferential treatment - as a theater artist, they noticed this dynamic in high school, and can’t stand it. If you think your kid would want to talk to mine with questions send me a pm.
No damper on talk…just all the legwork was on the kid. It was on me when I transferred after my freshman year. My mom was willing to listen and chat about it…but she didn’t do the search and selection part…at all.
There is plenty to talk about with the kid taking the lead on the process.
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I just wanted to chime in and let you know I understand what you are going through, as my daughter was miserable when she began college. I told her if she wanted to transfer it’s ok, but it’s on her to navigate (I would help if she needed it).
She stuck it out, became very involved etc and had a wonderful experience once the spring rolled around.
I know this was mentioned earlier, but sending a few transfer apps out will put him in control of the situation (my D did not). Hopefully a few months from now he will meet new people, join new activities, and decide to stay. You have been given great advice.
Hang in there, as a parent it’s incredibly tough to watch. I like the U of Rochester, and my D was an OOS student at UNC (difficult transition for her but she ended up loving it).
Something I don’t think has come up is transfer housing. Some of the schools mentioned, including most of the UC’s, do not guarantee sophomore housing. If your son is having difficulty meeting people at Tufts, you probably don’t want him starting off at a new school in an off campus apartment.
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Excellent point I might not have considered Thank you
Agreed. I want to support, but not to take the lead in either the decision to stay or go. Thank you
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Oh, I’m so glad it worked out for her. I am hoping the same!
Yes, it is brutal to watch our kids hurting.
A struggle they can quickly overcome is one thing. But feeling isolated is just awful.
I really appreciate this. I like the Ultimate Culture. Not his sport but he likes the vibe. We noticed that at Pomona. There is a kind of hard-working goofiness and camaraderie in that sport that exemplifies what I think he was hoping for in college. Ultimate players don’t fit a mold the way many other athletes do. The cheers are fun and silly. It’s very inclusive and at the end of the day, great players work very hard and have a lot of athleticism. I don’t know if that makes sense to you. Tufts students are often described as quirky and Ultimate players are sometimes described as quirky. He’s still looking for a quirky crew of fun loving, deep thinking, justice seekers. I appreciate the offer of a connection. I will ask him about that.
is the summer as brutal as I thought it would be?
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Thank you!
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Thank you.
I’m so glad things worked out that way for your son! Obviously I’m hoping for the same with my guy. I’m not on team stay or team go. I’m just supportive of his decisions. I don’t want him to feel stuck. But the ideal scenario would be that he finds what he’s looking for just where he is.
Of all of our kids, he is most academically inclined (which does not mean that those who are less academically inclined are less intelligent) and was most looking forward to college life. I think a little bit of this is that he had such high expectations going in.
Again, so happy for the way things turned out for your family. I appreciate you sharing your story and your words of encouragement!
Thank you so much for this comment. I don’t want to get too wrapped up in “elite” I think really academic and social engagement is a far better description of what is important for him. I used the word elite initially because colleges are categorized this way very often. Frankly, all the rankings make things for challenging for so many reasons.
I really appreciate your input. He’s not certain that he’d like to go into law, but I think it could serve him well, and he could use a degree to serve others.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
I wanted to read the whole thread before responding. I think your son and my nephew are friends. My nephew also is considering transferring. He is crushing it academically, not a partner… orientation- there are only a handful of preorientation trips and not everyone coming in and be on one. Then the first week orientation has a lot of one sides presentations and ‘ come to the lawn’ for a social. For some, kids can make their way. For kids like my nephew- an extrovert in known small circles of friends- an introvert in a large crowd-it is not easy one’s first year. He is also in a few clubs. He is drained by how much he is putting himself out there. He has made friends but overall does not have a feeling of belonging. He takes a freshman pass fail class taught by an undergrad senior- who is supposedly his advisor…?
While is hopes to transfer, he knows he might not get in and life has a way of changing. Inthink this tough year will create situations he hasn’t faced where he has to be uncomfortable and see an arc of improvement over time… but as his Aunt- it stinks to see this enthusiastic, fun, social hard working, Ernest kid be so down.
So my post is to say your son is not alone- looking to transfer is a great way to stay engaged so to speak… and… hopefully my nephew and your son cross paths if they haven’t already.
Excuse all the typos- was typing without my glasses. He is not a partner either…
This most definitely describes a lot of what my guy is going through. I’m not sure if you mean that my son and your nephew are actually friends or that they are friends in that they are sharing the same experiences. If you want to DM me, I’d love to hear from you.
In any case, I hope things get better for both of them and for all the freshman struggling out there.
Not a ‘partier’…
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