…he 1) takes the Amtrak to and from college, 2) rides the bus to and from his summer job, and 3) relies on his friends to drive him to his social engagements.
Although he has said his goal is to get it in May this year, soon after returning home from his sophomore (!) year of college. He got a good deal of practicing in last summer before his interest/motivation fizzled out.
18 year old D had a (benign) tumor removed halfway into her first drivers ed class then took almost a year to feel well enough and have the time to reschedule it (busy, busy). Finished that this winter, but now H keeps insisting that D do all of the work to figure out how to schedule the driving test and she just doesn’t care enough to bother. She busses almost everywhere, but when she can’t I’m the one who drives her (not H). I really want her to get practice in driving by herself before she leaves for college, but tried to delegate the driving oversight thing to H (not entirely successfully.)
A few years ago, the answer was “Because we live in Germany”. But i made sure she got her license before she went to college. I would highly recommend it…it is much easier to have them practice when they are at home.
to incentivize them, tell them they are their own to visit friends.
Also look into a driving school if that would help.
In my state, all DLs under 21 are oriented vertically, so there is no way to alter them…
My older son took drivers ed the summer before he headed off to college, but somehow we never scheduled a driving test. After that he was never home for a summer. He lives in CA and takes the Google van to work. The supermarket is across the street from his apartment. Amazon takes care of everything else.
Younger son got the learner’s permit at the usual age. It expired and he got a second one. We just never seem to spend much time practicing so he paid for lessons at a local school. He made an appointment for a driving test last summer, but the school neglected to give him some crucial bit of paper so they wouldn’t test him. He put off the next test because there was four feet of snow on the roads and he hadn’t practiced. He now has a test scheduled for May I think. He’s a cautious driver, but has never been on a highway. Ack.
I got my driver’s license the summer after graduating from college. My parents had been overseas the whole time I was in college and I was in boarding school the year I turned sixteen. I had to get that license because I got a grant to drive around the country photographing firehouses.
We were a one-car family living in an area with excellent public transportation. Happykid didn’t need a license to get any place she wanted to, and she knew she’d never be able to borrow the car anyway. I think she was 19 when she finally decided to put in the effort to master parallel parking so that she could move from just a learner’s permit to the big time.
I guess when I was a kid getting my license, I never considered the fact I wouldn’t ‘need’ it. I could have done without it. We had busses and bicycles. My parents didn’t HAVE to add me to the insurance (but they could afford to, and did because it was darn convenient to have me run errands instead of them). I just felt like such an adult once I got it.
Maybe it’s a geographic thing, and always has been? Maybe the DL is dying a slow death? Uber-nasia?
My 18-year-old doesn’t have his driver’s license because, frankly, we don’t trust him.
My 17 1/2 year old doesn’t have his drivers license because we live in a town that he can get anywhere in a golf cart and he does. Also I have held off because he really won’t use it much plus our insurance rate will go up.
Couple of mine got it later, I believe, cause they liked being chauffeured. Who doesn’t enjoy door to door service? I didn’t mind because as we all know, some of the best talking is done in the car with them. When they start driving, conversation dries up quite a bit as does time with them.
Not my children but me. I grew up in NYC and never needed one (or could afford one). I college I relied on friends and girlfriends until I was a senior and nearing graduation.
Did your young adult nondrivers get an ID from the DMV? For voting, travel, bars, etc?
My D waited til she was 17 bc she wasn’t that anxious to drive and then when she got it she was all OMG WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG. My S got his as soon as he could. My kids love to drive. S doesn’t have a car away at school though.
My ds has a non-license ID from the DMV.
Mine didn’t get it until after HS graduation. They went to boarding school and never had the time to take the needed and mandatory driver’s ed classes. They had plenty of practice driving with mom and dad. When they turned 18, which was during the summer following HS graduation, they no longer needed driver’s ed to get a license. They self studied the booklet, practiced their parking some more, and went and passed the written and driving tests.
They were unmotivated to practice driving because we live next to the high school. I am happy to drive them where they need to go. It is safer. I was also happy not having to pay for insurance for 3 boys during high school (and thru college for one of them!) I’m a nervous, vigilant driver. No accidents. H has ADD, many tickets, many accidents. So far our older kids( 20-27 yo)have been safe (a couple tickets), but every year we hear of local 16-17yos dying in car accidents. When several classmates/friends die, driving looks scary. Still, you can get a permit at 14 here, and some parents are eagerly teaching their “just finished 7th grade” kids to drive. Two of my boys were out of high school and nearly 19 when they got licensed.
D1 didn’t because our car insurance would have nearly doubled. Once we switched (found an amazing deal,) D2 got hers in senior year. D1 then got hers on summer break from college. We weren’t in a rush because they were near their hs and we live in a walking area, near shops, etc. I didn’t get mine til after college.
I think my younger son got his DL before my older son??? …or maybe around the same time? not sure. Older son was a nervous driver and really would NOT practice. Younger son wanted to practice and got his permit on his 15th birthday and his license on his 16th birthday. With permit in hand, he drove nearly the entire way across the country with me. He still prefers to drive.
When older son got his license (after failing the test a couple of times), he still wasn’t a great driver, so we waited awhile to have him drive alone. He’s been a good driver the last several years, but did get into a rather minor accident last week. We’re both kind of glad it happened because it was a “wake up” call to be more careful during U-turns!!! He still prefers that someone else drive so he can have his nose in a book.
Ohmygosh this whole thread makes me feel soooooo much better! D is a late summer birthday so pretty much a whole year behind a good portion of her class. We are total rookies, didn’t think to do it right when she turned 15 and then the next summer exploded and she was crazy busy. I also legit thought I had it in me to do parent-taught drivers ed…NOT!
So we plunked down the $$ for drivers ed and omg four weeks of daily classes almost brought the house down but she did it! I’m just proud she has her permit.
And now she is looking at schools where I don’t think she will even have a car so now we are at the point of wanting her to get her license but realizing we may not purchase a car for her. In the beginning we were all old fashioned “you have to work and save your $$” and she has…but who are we kidding?! A full IB load, test prep etc = barely $4K saved up from her own savings.
She really has no desire to drive. Doesn’t like it. Doesn’t ask to drive. I/we are forcing her to drive a few times a week to get the hours.
SIGH.
My kids say it will be great for them, and for us when we are too old to drive! I realized that they are right… so hoping we can hurry that driverless technology along a little faster.
I actually treated learning to drive like learning to swim. While I wanted them to wait until they were 17, I did make sure they go their licenses fall of senior year (driver’s training in spring, practice over summer, test before the snow flies) so they would have about a year of driving before going off to college. It is like learning to swim – a life skill that I felt they should have. I admit, they are not great drivers. D1 because she is 26 and almost never drives. D2 has a learning disability, and is a pretty nervous driver. Don’t get me started on the issue of transportation to take the GRE subject test 40 miles away in 2 weeks – there is NO good public transit option, a cab would be over $100 each way, Uber won’t go that far out of the city, and she doesn’t want to ask her friends to take her that far… so she has signed up for Zipcar (which we both have anxiety about).
Mine just weren’t motivated. I MADE them get it before their permits expired so they’d have a valid state ID. S was 20 and D was 21 when they got their licenses. They loved having mom be their taxi–still generally prefer it over driving themselves. Smartphone navigation has really helped both of them get where they want to go.