<p>AEG, thank you so much for posting an update. Your dad was a wonderful man, and he will be greatly missed. I wish I could give you a hug.</p>
<p>Thinking of you and your family tonight.</p>
<p>AEG - you are so kind to have followed up on this board while I’m sure your thoughts are elsewhere. Please know that you and your family are being held in many prayers. Your dad must be very proud of how you are helping out your mom.</p>
<p>AEG, thank you for the update and the memorial information. Thinking of you and your mom and sister and the rest of the G family. One day at a time.</p>
<p>PS to all: The credit union will be closed tomorrow, but will be open Friday. I’ll call them to get information on how to donate… I would assume that mailing checks along with a note indicating the fund number would do just fine, but I’ll get what info I can and repost it here.</p>
<p>One of the great poems of despair:</p>
<p>
[quote]
“No Worst, There is None”
by Gerard Manley Hopkins</p>
<p>No worst, there is none. Pitched past pitch of grief,
More pangs will, schooled at forepangs, wilder wring.
Comforter, where, where is your comforting?
Mary, mother of us, where is your relief?
My cries heave, herds-long; huddle in a main, a chief-
Woe, w</p>
<p>[Amazon.com:</a> Elegy: Poems: Mary Jo Bang: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Elegy-Poems-Mary-Jo-Bang/dp/155597483X]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Elegy-Poems-Mary-Jo-Bang/dp/155597483X)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>(The New York Times just named this one of the “100 Notable Books of the Year,” writing: “Grief is converted into art in this bleak, forthright collection, centered on the death of the poets son.” <a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/books/review/100Notable-t.html[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/books/review/100Notable-t.html</a>)</p>
<p>Thinking of you today, crabbylady. I hope that you are managing all of it.</p>
<p>Crabbylady:</p>
<p>You and your family are in my thoughts. May you find solace in one another and in the memory of a good man, a good husband and a good father.</p>
<p>The representative from Alaska USA credit union says that via mail is the only option for donating to the memorial fund, unless you’ve got an account with Alaska USA FCU (can transfer money over the phone) or are in Anchorage (can drop off payment at a local branch). Nothing online or via credit card set up.</p>
<p>Thinking of you and your family, crabbylady.</p>
<p>Very sorry for your loss. I pray some good may come out of H’s loss, and that your family are able to heal in time.</p>
<p>aibarr, thanks for your follow-up with this.</p>
<p>crabbylady and daughters, still thinking of you and your grief at this time with the hope that the passage of time will bring nothing but fond memories of your wonderful husband and father.</p>
<p>Following up on the last post, sometimes, it seems, the “passage of time” helps when one has lost a beloved; sometimes it doesn’t. </p>
<p>In any case, the first step, it seems, can only be to experience one’s “grief” fully. (As LTS became fond of saying [paraphrasing Robert Frost], “the only way out is through.”)</p>
<p>In our relentlessly smiley-face society, the experience (much less expression) of sheer unadulterated grief sometimes seems to be regarded as somehow being in bad taste (if not a sign of some sort of character deficiency). Here, as in other areas of life (think sex, for instance), we tend to be overwhelmed by intense emotions, rendered unable to experience and express them with any real depth.</p>
<p>On the subject of loss and grief, I can think of no more eloquent cry than King Lear’s after finding his daughter Cordelia dead:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[King</a> Lear: Act 5 Page 5](<a href=“http://www.web-books.com/Classics/Shakespeare/Lear/Lear5_5.htm]King”>http://www.web-books.com/Classics/Shakespeare/Lear/Lear5_5.htm)</p>
<p>“A celebration of life will be at 2 p.m. Wednesday.” </p>
<p>It would be lovely if we could send thoughts, prayers, good vibes, or what have you to CrabbyLady and her family at that time.</p>
<p>While we didn’t know him, it is clear that the world has lost a wonderful man.</p>
<p>Following up Karen Colleges note, this link to the obituary gives details of the Wednesday memorial as well as the fund which has been set up. [adn.com</a> | Alaska Obituaries, Death Notices and Tributes](<a href=“http://www.legacy.com/ADN/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=120690494]adn.com”>http://www.legacy.com/ADN/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=120690494)</p>
<p>[Dr</a>. Roger Gollub Community](<a href=“http://www.drrogergollubcommunity.org/#]Dr”>http://www.drrogergollubcommunity.org/#)</p>
<p>The memorial account is at:
Alaska USA Federal Credit Union
Account Number: 1429780
Routing Number: 325272021</p>
<p>Address of the Bank: P.O. Box 196613 Anchorage,
AK 99519-6613</p>
<p>What an incredible human being. My prayers and good wishes are with you and your family, crabbylady.</p>
<p>What a loss</p>
<p>Please accept my condolences on your husband’s senseless passing. He sounds like an incredible person and pediatrician. Take care of yourself in the coming days.</p>
<p>This fellow Alaskan read about this in our Fairbanks paper with much sorrow. That we both are CC readers reinforces your husband’s understanding of community and how we are so tied together. My father worked long and passionately with Head Start too, and many other community organizations. It was always “working together, we help ourselves.” My sister works with Native health in her physician assistant job for Interior regions, and I see that your husband was a leader in Alaska for this. I thank him for what he did for the people. I will be happy to contact Alaska USA (they have a branch here in Fairbanks) to help continue your husband’s work.
We are lucky to have had him so passionately working for the betterment of all. What a fabulous role model. I can’t imagine how you must miss him. Thank you for letting us on CC know about this. I am sure we all want to lift the hurt, even though we can not. I am so very sorry.
–Long long time lurker on CC from way far away, rare poster.</p>