My mom and I disagree about where I should go to college - PLEASE HELP!

<p>really? I did submit the NCP waiver, but I have not heard back from northeastern yet - do you think they will accept it? I told them that I did not with to include my father in the college process and that his financial info would have little impact because of his scattered employment and support.</p>

<p>should i be worried that they won't even accept the waiver? </p>

<p>I also called the school a while ago and they said that submitting the CSS profile late would not have an impact on the amount of my aid award, but that it would just take longer before i got the award letter.</p>

<p>By the way, New Paltz is an endearing town and a good school. Considering the financial aspects of the decision, I really think you could have a good four years there.</p>

<p>It's a much better school than Hartwick, which I wouldn't consider in this scenario.</p>

<p>We were in the same boat- it was Northeastern, SUNY bing, Providence and a few others. Daughter wanted to go to Providence or Northeastern. I called Northeastern because I hadn't heard what the FA was- they said it had already been posted on our account. So, I went online to their site to get the numbers....not great. their FA/ merit came out to 20000, but still way too much compared to SUNY. My daughter wasn't happy-she didn't want to go to BING. We went there and toured it...and guess what? SHe likes it! Even bought a sweatshirt! </p>

<p>SUNY's are such a good value. You really can't beat it. I was an artsy girl in school too. I went to a SUNY and teach art now. You will love your SUNY...if that's where you end up. GOod luck to you!</p>

<p>A lot of it depends on the circumstances with your dad. My niece's father has been MIA since she was two (if he works, it's under the table because he doesn't even show up with earnings for Social Security). My sister also has court orders for back supports, etc. so she has a documented history of her ex's failure to provide. </p>

<p>Every school is different. Just be aware that CSS/PROFILE schools may not be as generous as FAFSA-only schools because they expect both parents to contribute.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>OK, that is good to know. I guess I wont get my hopes up then. Thank you for the info!</p>

so far all of my colleges have covered everything except for student loans (nothing out of pocket)


<p>Woooow, stop and look at what you are actually being offered. Loans are not ... repeat NOT really aid. Loans are easy to accept when the economy is booming and all graduates get wonderful jobs with high pay (did this actually happen in recent human memory?) If is is posible that you might graduate without a job promise, then all loans are a huge risk.</p>

<p>also, my mom just found out that the office where she works is closing in june and she will need to find a new job. will this help my chances at financial aid at all? she might be able to find a job by then, but what if she cant?</p>

<p>ughh, i feel like I am going in circles here</p>

<p>one major reason that i like northeastern is because of the co-op program where i can get paid jobs throughout my college career (which I can use to pay some of my loans)</p>

<p>It will also help me get my foot in the door and increase the chance that i will be able to get a job right out of college</p>

<p>NEU co-ops are great... but don't count on your earnings to cover much more than just your living expenses during that time period. In the end, the better deal will likely be SUNY - check if they have an optional co-op program.</p>

<p>yes that is true. I dont think new paltz has a co-op program, probably just unpaid internships, but I will ask when I go to visit tomorrow. thanks!</p>

<p>You should definitely lean towards New Paltz. Northeastern costs a fortune and any money that you make via a co-op will not make a dent in the loans that you'll need to attend.</p>

<p>thanks for all your help, it just sucks that i might not be able to go to my dream school :(</p>

<p>but hopefully i will like new paltz and i will want to go there!</p>

<p>The financial question is very real and is probably the largest significant swaying point of your decison. But try and understand this, as much as your mother loves you it is probably difficult for her to see you leave home. That empty nest syndrome hits many moms especially dedicated single moms. Then think of all of the angst and sense of abandoment that your mom must feel from your dad and his family. As hard as it is to say good bye to you it must be harder still to be paying for you to leave and to live near the family that abandoned you. Its not rational or a reason to make a choice but do understand your mom's perspective because it is probably the result of her love for you and her efforts to protect you. Where ever you go do your best to stay close to her and if you somehow do go to NE do your best to reassure her. But really from everything you have said it does sound like NE is likely to be financially unrealistic.</p>

<p>thank you spectrum2, i never thought of it as "paying for me to live near the family that abandoned me". This has opened my eyes a little more and i will definitely give that some more consideration</p>

<p>Good Luck and I hope you find your dream where ever you go to school!</p>

<p>artsygirl, you're to be congratulated on the growth you've shown just on this thread! Let us know how the visit to New Paltz is.</p>

<p>Let us know how the New Paltz visit goes!</p>

<p>Artsy: Everyone here wants what you want for yourself. Believe me, it is the life blood of this parent forum- make dreams come true. But, there is reality too. You have wonderful options and New Paltz seems to be an excellent school, and once you are settled in, you will love, love, love school. Why? You are on your own, and no more negative noise from the divorce. Now, realize mom is losing TWO jobs this June, mom to you and her paying job. She is going to be a mess most likely, very big adjustments for her. Financial pressure won't help either of you. So be very conservative here, so you have options in your future, and/or you don't start a school that your family can't financially support all 4-5 years. Transfering would really set you back. </p>

<p>As for the grandparents in Boston, I would have an open mind here. Maybe they felt in the middle and could not contact you since their son was out of contact with you, and on top of that he was not sending support. No parent would be proud of that and might dodge the whole disappointing mess. As a young adult, you might find there is more to it, give it a chance. As for your mom, she is just feeling threatened from all sides right now, let her know you love her, and what ever college you attend you will be happy because that is the best she can do. And then be happy, you deserve it. Leave the baggage of your absent father behind. Don't give it the power to take anymore of the joy out of your life.</p>

<p>Good luck- dont go into any debt if you don't have too. That is all we are all saying.</p>

<p>Let us know how your college visit went?</p>

<p>thanks everyone! i really appreciate all of your support!</p>

<p>I just got back from my visit to new paltz and things aren't looking too good. I like the school and the campus a lot, but I am having a problem with my major. I really want to go into environmental policy, but new paltz has a major called "environmental geochemical science". I decided to have an open mind to this major, but today I realized that it is VERY science intensive. All of the classes would be in chemistry, physics, geology, and math. I just can't see myself surviivng through all those science courses! </p>

<p>I ran into the dean of admissions and asked him about the possibility of designing my own cirriculum, like somebody had mentioned, and he was very nice. He sat and talked with me for about half an hour! He told me that if I want to go into environmental policy, that I should consider law school, and then it wouldn't really matter what I majored in at new paltz (or any other school). I just don't think I know at this early point in my like if I will want (and be able to afford) to go to law school someday. The admissions guy seemed to be hinting that I wouldnt really be able to get the job I wanted with just their environmental studies minor that they offer.</p>

<p>I am so confused now, about everything. I am running low on options, and I am now more convinced that Northeastern's environmental studies major (they also offer offer a duel major in Env. studies and political science!) would be the best thing for me. But I am also now convinced that they are not going to give me enough financial aid.</p>