I get it. I went to Berkeley in the 90’s. I went because of the prestige and because I was the only kid in my class to get in. It was a horrible fit for me in terms of environment and I struggled.
That said, academically, it’s got a lot to offer and a highly diverse student population. If you put in the effort, you will find your tribe. They absolutely exist on a campus that size. Explore as the enviroment is also diverse. Find your favorite spots. Take the bart into the city as San Fancisco has everything. You can make any college work but you have to be proactive.
College is an adjustment to transition to adulthood. Hate/Love are just emotions. Try taking out the emotion and look at the university as merely a tool to achieve your ambitions. Don’t put your self worth on a college campus. That’s not healthy. Put your self worth on your ambitions, dreams, and accomplishments. If you focus on that, then you can be happy in any college campus you go to. I think you’ll do just fine at Berkeley.
“It was a horrible fit for me in terms of environment and I struggled.”
This is what I hear as well from many UCB grads, so if someone thinks it’s not a fit even after the six week summer program (which is supposed to address these feelings), you should take a hard look before you commit.
I would go with my gut. As a parent, it’s my job to help the kids figure things out but ultimately it’s their life. Attending a school that you feel is not a good fit is a red flag. There are lots of options ( a few were mentioned), what are the other schools you got into? Is there a chance you could still go there? What about taking just a semester off? What about going somewhere with rolling admissions then transferring out? What about doing a year abroad as a Freshman ( this may be the best bet if you plan to transfer anyway).
If you decide on just going for a year and then transferring it could be rough. You will have to do well academically. If the school/people bother you that’s going to be hard. Prestige isn’t relevant if you aren’t happy. And it is only prestigious to someone who also thinks its a good school. If you don’t like it for whatever reason you don’t like it. I am gathering from your post that perhaps the folks there aren’t people you would normally relate to. The Summer program is a taste so real students may be slightly different. I know nothing about the school but even I know that it has a particular reputation for being extreme in a single direction.
Since you are obviously a strong student I would really not suggest CC at this point. Knowing your major would help. Perhaps there is a great small college that would love to have you!! They might also be more open to someone who had a change of heart. Also, consider transferring after one semester. It would be something like, I tried it, I didn’t like it and now I know what I want. Unfortunately, if you are FA you have to consider transfers get almost zero FA so be careful there.
I think the OP is suggesting CC as that is somewhere she can go at the last minute.
I agree that you should decide if California CC to a Cal State or another UC is your path, or some other college entirely.
If so, then you may not want to transfer as you won’t get financial aid like you would as a freshman. You may want to take a gap year and then reapply.
A big urban campus like that is not for everyone. Unfortunately, you probably should have had a chance to figure that out earlier. My advice - attend in the fall with the intention of making absolutely the BEST effort you can to get all you can out of the experience. Dig into your classes, join organizations that interest you, do your best work. After a year, if you want to transfer you will have the grades and activities to put on a transfer application. My guess is, however, that after a year you will find you have settled in very nicely and will not want to move. Best of luck.
Give it another chance. I remember I wanted to transfer out of SUNY Albany after my first semester. Then upon Spring semester, I made changes like meeting new friends and being more outgoing. In the end, it felt like I was home again. Transfering from a CC to a four year was the hardest for me. Now, I’m so ready to go back in the Fall. I repeat to give it another chance. You’ll regret it, and UC Berkeley is a top public school.
i agree with @goldpenn and others who say give it a chance. Many, many students arrive at colleges and universities every fall thinking they don’t belong there. Either they think they belong somewhere “better” or they worry they’re not smart enough. Or the school’s too big or too small. Too urban or too rural. etc. etc. By spring semester, most but not all have gotten in a groove and are happy or at least happy-ish. That said, a couple of caveats:
Make sure you take a reasonable / light course load for the fall. Starting college itself is hard and you don't want to overload with tough courses first semester on top of that. If you do end up deciding to transfer after one year, you'll need a solid transcript.
IF Financial Aid is a big reason you're going to UCB - or if it would be necessary to get FA to go somewhere else as a transfer - seriously think about a gap year. Is there another school where you were accepted where you would rather go? After discussing with your parents, perhaps reach out to that school.
If by break after the first semester you are still extremely unhappy, make a transfer plan. You'll need to be cognizant of the deadlines, will most likely have to ask a professor or two for letters of recommendation, complete transfer applications, etc. You can apply - it doesn't mean you have to attend if you are accepted.
Keep talking to your parents about your feelings and concerns. Is there another relative or third party you could involve in the discussion who might moderate?
Plan on going this fall. Change your attitude. You are not there for the social life, you are there for the fantastic academics. You did not attend those classes this summer. You need to take as many courses as reasonable for you- a heavier than lighter schedule lets you drop a class. You only met with bridge students and staff this summer- the vast majority will not have done this, therefore most students and staff you encounter this fall will be different. You may not have fit in with the demographic of your summer program despite being eligible.
The campus will be the same but you are there for the academics, not the aesthetics. You may be pleasantly surprised by the peers in your classes as time goes on. The only reason to change schools after the first year is if you can’t get what you want in your classes. A big reason to stay is for those- a UC Berkeley degree means a lot. We presume you can handle the work load.
btw- I DID not want to go to my hometown excellent flagship (Wisconsin) either, but finances made it the best choice. Living on campus was a world apart from my suburb. I did my thing, did not need to be friends with roommates, just had to get along. The food would be no better at another school. You find friends with the same interest in your classes. You can join or not join with others in a dorm. The steep hills will be there (have walked the campus) but you get used to them and the content of the courses is what you are there for. No place is perfect.
Students with your credentials, ie who got into this school, may easily be bored with the course content at a community college. Do not undermine yourself by ignoring the opportunity to get more material for any given course or by resenting being there and not learning what you can. You get out what you put in- you may have the attitude that the campus sucks but you are still going to try for A’s.
Our kid’s choice of colleges was restricted due to finances. She was not happy about where she was going in the fall. To rub salt in the wound, she met a boy over the summer and would be leaving him behind. She continued to be unhappy fall semester and most of spring semester. Then, something changed. She broke up with the boy back home. She made plans to live off campus the next year. Sophomore year was a 180.
Now, a rising junior, she will tell people that she did not like her school at first, but now she really likes it a lot. In fact, she did not come home over the spring break or summer break this year; she stayed down at school.
We are relieved she found a way to make it work. Nothing changed about the school, y’know? She changed.
You may want to explore your issues of anxiety and depression and see if your parents will agree to send you to a therapist before school starts. I am concerned about some of what you have written. First, even being somewhat unhappy with a new place or a program, it is not typical to cry every single night. This may (not trying to diagnose you via message board), indicate a mental health issue that needs attention before you can be successful in college.
Second, if you go off to Berkeley with the idea that you absolutely hate it and nothing will change your mind, you likely will not be successful. Having people tell you what a great opportunity this is will not help if you can’t see that and/or if you are depressed. But realize that the bridge program is not freshman year. There will be very different people and classes, along with activities.
With a therapist, you can also work through the issues of what you don’t like about the school. If there are real, objective reasons (don’t have you major, too many large classes) but not preference reasons (don’t like the campus, too close to home), you may be able to convince your parents that you have a legitimate reason for not attending. Was there a school you wanted to attend?
It is a really big deal to get into Berkeley. It is one of the top schools in the country. Many parents would have a hard time with their kid not wanting to go because they “hate it”. Many students have to attend schools other than their first choice, even if they get into to their choice, for financial or other reasons.
Know that if you have depression or anxiety going to another college, even community college, may not change that. There can be situation depression, but a vibrant college campus like UCB in the California sunshine makes that a bit unlikely.
As pointed out above it is very easy to go UCB to community college. Not so easy the other direction.
Recognize that your feelings aren’t stupid. Your dilemma is real and others have experienced similar feelings. You have some power and choice here even if it doesn’t feel like it. You may not like the consequences of your choices but they are choices.
I suggest the following.
See if your parents will help you find a therapist to talk to about your anxiety. Tell them that you are willing to go to UBB but scared it won't go well because of your anxiety. Ask them to help you make the best effort to make this work which means therapy to help you pinpoint the issues. If this plan works do the following items with the therapist. If you parents won't go for the therapy idea and you don't have funds to make it happen without their help do the following on your own.
Think carefully about what exactly it is you don't like about UCB. Make a list. Be as precise as possible.
Brainstorm ways to cope with the items on your list. We can help you with that if you want.
Try to get family and friends on board with plans to help you give UCB a real, honest chance. If you can't make it work for you community college will always be there. Rejoice that you have an excellent backup plan that is within your power to make happen. That should take some of the stress off which ironically may allow you to appreciate UCB more.
I’m with everyone else, I would see if Berkely is different in the fall, plan to do well and transfer if necessary. Address anxiety issues now.
As for classes. I’ve seen kids get over their head in math and science classes. I’ve had friends who had never written a research paper and should have gotten more help from the writing center. When I was in college I liked to take a mix of large and small classes and a mix of classes where homework was due regular (like languages and math and science) vs ones that might only have a midterm, final and a big paper.