My Son (HS Senior) Needs Full Aid for College and Suggestions for Computer Science/Engineering

Paying for College
1

Financial:
Student is oldest of 3 children, product of 11 year marriage. Father left in 2010, diagnosed Narcissist, took all $ from our accounts and for the past 8 years I have had to take him to court multiple times for enforcement.

During 8 years post divorce (2010-2018), he emotionally abused my three children and physically abused my youngest who has special needs. Student witnessed abuse. DYFS and restraining orders involved. I have full legal and sole custody.

My kids and I (mom) live in NJ, father relocated to Hilton Head South Carolina with his millions of dollars from his own business, shady accounts. Due to abuse issues, he no longer sees or speaks to my children. He is a millionaire and doesn’t contribute financially consistently.

Aside from court ordered monthly support (which he hasn’t been paying), he no longer has any responsibility towards paying for college tuition. This was a settlement I made with him in July 2018 in order to stop his abuse of my kids- I told him to keep his money because at this point, paying my lawyer completely depleted all of my funds.

I did work as a school psychologist but have been on permanent disability since 1/2015. I only get $1,300/month for myself and 3 kids. I am responsible for all medical/tutoring/therapy/college etc. I have no funds for his college education.

Student’s stats (my son)

NJ Public high school highly rated, weighted 4.7 GPA (In a selective Science and Engineering Program all 4 years of High School
SAT: Math: 790; Verbal 650 (1440)
Took 8 AP exams and scored 5’s
Science SAT 760, Math SAT 750
Volunteered 5 years at our temple as a teacher assistant for 3rd grade
Worked 5 years at our temple assisting secretaries, setting up events, helping in classrooms, tutoring students
NHS Junior/Senior year
4 years classical piano
15 years private art classes/sketching/painting/sculpting

2

He has strong stats, but likely could benefit from retaking the SAT to boost his Verbal. He should be able to get Test Fee Waivers from his school counselor, as well as some application waivers.

Which schools interest him?

Has he considered taking the ACT as well?

How did he do on the PSAT as a junior?

Sounds like you won’t be able to contribute anything for college. That’s understandable considering your situation.

Have you run any of the Net Price Calculator on the schools’ websites? I would start with the NJ publics since it sounds like you’d qualify for a full Pell Grant and whatever state aid NJ provides.

If you can run the Net Price Calculators on the NJ publics first and identify a couple of “Financial Safety” schools, then the other schools on the list can be matches and safeties.

in your situation, it’s important that you have a least 2-3 schools that you know FOR SURE that he’ll get accepted to AND FOR SURE get enough aid to cover all costs.

The rest of his list can be “let’s see what happens,” but should have a reasonable expectation for full aid… Cornell, Lehigh, and we’ll come up with more.

3

if the colleges use the CSS Profile (Cornell does) and requires the non-custodial parent form, you will likely have to get a waiver for this. You will need to contact each college to find out what they need from you to get this waiver. You might get the waiver…and you might not.

Just be prepared for this possibility.

Would he be interested in University of Chicago? That school uses only the FAFSA, and no info from the non-custodial parent is required.

4

Be sure you mention the restraining orders and DYFS, and that he hasn’t paid court ordered support in your request for waivers for non-custodial parent profiles at CSS profile schools. I wouldn’t talk about his diagnosis or finances with schools — just that you and your kids have no contact, the info on the orders/DYFS, and the non-payment of support.

If he could raise his verbal score, he’d have a better shot at schools that might meet his financial need.

I don’t think a kid with a 650 verbal has a shot at UChicago.

5

So sorry that your ex raided all of your accounts. I don’t quite understand how courts allow that sort of thing when there’s a divorce to be processed.

Be sure to apply to ALL of the instate NJ publics that have CS and/or eng’g.

@Thumper1 is right about seeking NCP waivers. I would start on those right away, contacting schools to find out what is needed, and asking if providing proof of Restraining Orders is enough. They may also ask for affidavits from your priest/rabbi/minister who can confirm that he’s out of your family’s life because of abuse, etc.

Aside from the instate publics which may give enough aid, we need to identify schools that will give full aid.

I think UChicago could be a good idea IF he retests and gets a 700+ verbal or takes the ACT and gets at least an ACT 33.

Also, for UChi, he’d have to be sure that he didn’t want eng’g since UChi doesn’t have eng’g.

Cornell could be an option if he retests and improves the verbal.

I’m concerned about air travel costs for this single mom, particularly around the holidays (semester end) when the rates go thru the roof.

I hope others will chime in here with east coast/mid-Atlantic not-too-far from NJ schools that “meet need” or would give a combo of huge merit and need based aid.

There may be some schools that would give nearly a free ride for this CS major, and if so, then a Pell Grant and small student loan could cover the rest.

I hope you have a judgement against him for back child support. I recently purchased a property and the title company found that the seller had a judgement (lien?) against his home for back child support. That had to get paid/settled at the close of the sale. I’m sure he wasn’t too happy about it, but I was feeling quite smug for the mom/kids who likely have had to go many years without proper support who were finally getting their rightful money.

BTW…since the youngest is still a minor, I wonder if you could sue him for damages for the abuse?

6

Agree with @intparent. Don’t mention your exH’s wealth when seeking NCP waivers. Just focus on lack of paid child support, restraining orders, etc.

What schools are on your son’s list?

7

Probably need to look at less selective colleges (he’d have to get in to UChicago to get the FA) that give good merit money like University of Alabama Huntsville. His numbers might get him a full ride there.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/2006094-2017-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-p5.html

8

Bucknell maybe?

And Rowan for merit possibility and NJ state grant in addition to Pell.

9

Run the NPC for Rowan and copy/paste the results here. This may be your financial safety school.

Has your son rec’d app waivers from his GC?

Merit awards often go to students who apply early in the app cycle.