<p>I had one that wouldn’t eat much. I made him sandwiches with very thin sliced bread and baby food as the spread. Cut them into little squares. </p>
<p>Just an idea …</p>
<p>Parental failure?! I think, sarcastically said, that this is what every parent needs to hear. Look at the adults around you. There are those who won’t let their food “touch”, who won’t eat cooked/uncooked vegetables, who will or won’t touch…broccoli, who won’t eat fish or meat or chicken or artichokes because their parents “failed” them in preparing them for perfection. </p>
<p>Would I make sure that all medical issues have been dismissed? Yes. Would I try and find foods that my child will eat (regardless of nutritional perfection)? Yes. Would I try and make meals and snacks pleasant and not a battle ground? You betcha. One friend had a daughter, age 12, diagnosed with failure to thrive. Gave her ensure. That became another battleground. There have been bouts with eating disorders.</p>
<p>Oh, and the daughters (we have three total) who ate a lot? Just to give space to those who try and control food intake so that the kid isn’t chubby? Both are athletes and one is a model/actress. And yes, they eat.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t let her go hungry. If she will only eat baby food, then so be it. Don’t they have transitional baby food that is chunkier than the first stage ones? From what I can recall, the jars can make for a complete diet. I’d suggest maybe leaving a few cheerios on the plate in case she feels like playing with them. And maybe expose her to other toddlers who are eating solids and see if that inspires her. And if your gut tells you something is wrong, trust your gut. And if your gut tells you that “this too shall pass” then relax. My first child could not tolerate solid food for a good while – he would eat it happily and then vomit it right back up. Doctor suspected an oversensitive gag reflex and was about to send him for comprehensive testing, when suddenly he started eating grown-up food - everything in sight – and keeping it down. Literally, one day was baby food, and the next was stew and meat, etc. At all costs, avoid a power struggle over food and just make sure she is getting the nutrients she needs.</p>
<p>Lots of babies aren’t ready for solid food in the first year and shouldn’t have cow’s milk in the first year. Studies have shown that the introduction of food in the first 6 months can lead to allergies and with some kids, it is too soon in the first year. My D had nothing but breast milk the first year - because that is all she would eat. Some of my older relatives who didn’t understand that she was getting plenty of nourishment put pressure on me to try cereal but she thrust it out with her tongue. Fortunately the pediatrician told me to put it away and not to introduce anything for a year because she was much more likely not to develop allergies or intolerances if I waited. I would not be concerned about a baby refusing baby food in the first year and early experiences of forcing food might create a pattern that is hard to break. The first foods my D loved were ones that most people don’t expect - no salt cottage cheese, plain yogurt and avocados for example. I added wheat germ to the yogurt later. She had no interest in salty or sweet or very flavorful foods for a long time. She loved the baby foods that many other kids wouldn’t touch. Be careful not to transfer your food tastes to your baby.</p>
<p>If she isn’t allergic to anything, I’d just let her eat what she wants for now. Maybe take her to grandmas or a friends and have a meal there—sort of reintroduce the baby food in a different enviroment since the high chair has become a struggle. Even the park would be fine if the weather is ok.
If the issue is ongoing, consider the allergy testing and GI work up, just to rule things out.</p>
<p>I am sorry you are going thru this…I agree about having a second opinion and perhaps some testing done. Maybe baby is just feeling the stress of meal time…you are stressed because she isn’t eating properly, at least according to charts and other expectations.
Only one of mine was a picky eater , but nothing in comparison to other children I have heard about. She wasn’t a milk drinker so I had to sub other calcium rich foods ( yogurt, fortified juices, etc. )
Because of moving around and being a military wife with few options , I was limited to who I could and couldn’t see for pediatricians.
The pediatrician we were forced to have in NYC was awful , and I could not switch…my daughter was a great eater , but petite…her growth charts were consistant , though always on the low side of percentile charts. Our families were filled with small people , though that was never taken into consideration with the doc…I found myself buying baby food with higher calorie content just to appease the doc…grrrrr…now in looking back I realized that I should have trusted my own instincts a little better. She was perfectly healthy !</p>
<p>I do remember that somewhere in my collection of baby books, someone wrote that babies will not starve themselves and we shouldn’t force them too much ( or something to that effect.
I do hope you have the freedom to get another opinion …doctors are not always right and compatible with your parenting.</p>
<p>Someone in my extended family said her Middle School kid didn’t want anything but milkshakes because “it’s too much work to chew.” I didn’t comment at the time although my mind was racing. </p>
<p>I share the story only to wonder if the toddler might have something going on regarding the jaw, teeth, gums, swallowing responses or whatever, making chewing uncomfortable.</p>
<p>My daughter was much the same and it was lactose intolerance. I agree with the other posters and keep trying foods, and don’t fight about it. My daughter survived on hot dogs for years!!! (until she grew old enough to know it was not a good thing). I would eliminate lactose from her diet for quite a while and see if her attitude improves…amazing that my pediatrician never considered it.</p>
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<p>You’re the best judge of your pediatrician. But I think that if your physician heard the story you’ve told us, and didn’t at least look into the possibility of underlying physical conditions, I would get a second opinion. Good luck.</p>
<p>Have you tried asking your daughter what she’d like to eat while at the grocery store? Perhaps you could make a game of it by taking a favorite doll or bear gocery-shopping. Ask her what the bear would like for dinner…show her the baby food jars in the store aisle, explain in a calm and fun voice about the foods, flavors and colors. She could pick a jar for the bear/doll, and then one for herself. </p>
<p>At home, you could set up a little “store” for the bear/doll and her. At meal time, ask what her bear/doll would like, play feed it, then ask her which jar she would like to “buy” from the store, and eat. Perhaps giving her the power to control her food might lessen the trauma of the past food debacle. If you can make it fun, she might forget the power play. A kiddie table, where dolls and bears could sit, (sans family)where it seems like a party instead of a family stand-off, might encourage a happy time. </p>
<p>Best of luck!</p>
<p>^^^ I love that idea :D</p>
<p>PhysicsMom, it’s not your fault.</p>
<p>I agree with all who have suggested you get her completely checked out physically. Someone needs to check not only her gastrointestinal system but also the tonsils/adenoids/ears/throat combination. There could be something that bothers her when she swallows.</p>
<p>I have a grand-nephew who has always refused to eat. He had some GI problems at the “lower” end, which have finally been fixed, but he continues to be very picky and eats almost nothing. For about 18 months, he was basically surviving with PediaSure, instead of food. He had also been prescribed something to help him digest food. He’s now three and a quarter and continues to be well below the 5th percentile in height and weight, but he has recently started to eat normally and is off the prescription.</p>
<p>I bring this up not because your daughter has the same thing as my grandnephew, but because there can be physical things that aren’t discovered until a mother is adamant that her child be completely checked out. In my nephew’s case, it took a good eight months of various tests until they finally figured out what was wrong.</p>
<p>Edit: I guess I find it curious that she screams because she’s hungry but still won’t eat. That is very unusual and suggests to me that she may have difficulty swallowing.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone that said do not, no matter what, make food a battleground. </p>
<p>I also agree that it is worth checking just to make sure that there is not an underlying physical issue that makes eating unpleasant. Having done that, continue to present her with a reasonable array of foods that she will eat, introducing something new every once in a while. Terry Brazelton once said something to the effect that if a kid will eat–IIRC–applesauce, crackers, and milk, s/he is not going to suffer malnutrition. </p>
<p>If your child currently only wants baby food, give it to her, and offer small amounts of different things occasionally. There are transition baby foods, or you can make things that have that kind of texture.</p>
<p>I vowed when I had my S that I was not going to spend the larger part of every meal debating what he would and would not eat, as many people I saw did with their kids. I instituted the “one bite” rule. Most of what I gave him to eat were things I knew he liked. I didn’t serve him things I knew he disliked, or was likely to dislike. (No lima beans or liver!) When I introduced a new food, he was required to take one good bite of it. If he didn’t like it, he didn’t have to eat any more. No argument. No cajoling. He could always have yogurt or something or that sort instead if the disliked item was all there was for dinner. As a result, S tried many foods and found that he liked them. His eating habits were much broader than the vast majority of his friends.</p>
<p>I have had way too much experience with this problem and the best advice given is definitely not to let food become a control issue. If she likes the texture, mush a banana for her. Their caloric needs are not as great as you may think. They all go thru these phases. My 14 year-old only decided to try peanut butter for the FIRST TIME this summer–needless to say she now brings a pbj to school every day!</p>
<p>Its your job to give her the food- its her job to eat it. (I used to say this as a daily mantra!!!)</p>
<p>This brings back memories! One of my sons was a very picky eater. When anything entered his mouth that wasn’t a familiar taste or texture, he’d vomit up the whole meal. We avoided restaurants(always ended badly) and allowed him to live on the few items that he’d accept. His brothers were close in age so we didn’t have much time to worry about this. He just outgrew it. Now he’s at an Ivy League college and eating everything. He has always been thin, food isn’t a priority for him.</p>
<p>My oldest was just not interested in eating-- he was healthy, just not that interested in the act of the meal. One thing I did was to put foods that he could eat within his reach – a bowl of plain cooked pasta on the coffee table, a bowl of plain cheerios in his room, a bowl of rice on his high chair tray while I was cooking dinneretc. I found that he would often try the new food on his own timetable without me watching --over the course of the afternoon the bowl of cheerios might disappear – I was always careful to monitor him, but I let him have some control over the timing and the food he ate.</p>
<p>PhysicsMom – I agree with the advice about not letting food become a battle.</p>
<p>Nothing really to add to the thread…except that I feel for you. Presumably you’re on this site because you have a student close to college age. AND you have a toddler? Bless you…I know I wouldn’t have the energy for that!</p>
<p>This reminds me – some kids are highly sensitive to the way things feel – e.g. wool clothes, waistbands, etc., etc. I suppose this could occur with food as well – that the texture of food is something she’s sensitive too. Just thought I’d throw that out there.</p>
<p>I can thoroughly sympathize with you, PhysicsMom, for I have lived through this. My little boy (a preemie) was food-averse for years. He fought coming to the table, even coming into the kitchen, let alone sitting in his high chair. If we did coax him to eat, he was often so upset he vomited. I dreaded every meal. It upset our older children and mealtimes were only stressful. Forget about restaurants or family events. </p>
<p>Our pediatrician ran out of suggestions. A diagnosis of undernourishment and depleted iron stores sent us to a feeding center at a children’s hospital in another state. At 36 months, our little boy was evaluated by a multidisciplinary team which included doctors, nurses, a variety of therapists, and social workers. After extensive testing and observation, they devised a plan for us. His problem was anatomical, textural and behavioral. </p>
<p>Some of the feeding team’s plan worked well, some didn’t. He came very close to needing a feeding tube.</p>
<p>With a lot of help and persistence, gradually he improved. </p>
<p>It took five years before eating approached anything like the pleasurable experience most of us know it to be. </p>
<p>He just turned nine. Now he loves to eat, though only what he likes. He still gags easily. However, when I think of all we went through it is music to my ears when he asks when dinner will be ready because he’s “starving!” There was a time he truly was!</p>
<p>Take heart, PhysicsMom. There is hope. There are places where you can get help if other less drastic measures don’t work. </p>
<p>I really feel for you. I know how upsetting and stressful this is to live through. I really do. PM me if you like.</p>
<p>What a nice post, je<em>ne</em>sais_quoi. That’s one of the great things about CC. For almost any family problem, some other parent here has faced it and come out on the other side.</p>