<p>Both of my kids paid for their own yearbooks out of allowance/odd jobs. We have been upfront for years about why we don’t have a huge house and big parties, cars, etc. It’s so we will be able to get them to the college of their choice. They have never been big into things/clothes/electronic gear (except for the family computers. which we have in the home office). I feel very fortunate! DS2 will admit to having more expensive hobbies (skiing, karate tournaments, MUN) but is always offers immediately to put up some of his own money – which makes me feel better about the “matching funds” concept. He has looked for a job, but it’s hard when one is 15. Next summer should preove more fruitful.</p>
<p>*Designer’s name changed to protect the innocent.)</p>
<p>I know a family whose daughter’s prom dress was made by Betsey Johnson. Not Betsey Johnson the fashion house. Betsey Johnson the HUMAN BEING.*</p>
<p>:( oh does that mean it wasn’t really * Betsey Johnson?*
I have Donna Karan too :)</p>
<p>I love Betsey Johnson:D 
I used to wear her stuff when I was in high school and they sold it at Nordstroms ( not in the designer section- in the teenage dept)
So cute- but a little out there and some probably wasnt appropriate for high school( not with my body type- I was built like Betsey)
. But I still loved it.
Ive seen a spread of Betseyville in Mexico, not my style anymore but that looks fun too :D</p>
<p>I appreciate that I live in an area, and my daughters attended highschools where we don’t have that pressure to spend a lot to show that we care as much about our kids, as the neighbors do about theirs.
( Isn’t that what it is about?)
Heres a girl who found a dress for $7! her mom writes about it
<a href=“http://freshair.typepad.com/freshair/my_darling_daughter/index.html[/url]”>http://freshair.typepad.com/freshair/my_darling_daughter/index.html</a>
For some reason, when I take my younger D to used/vintage/thrift shops she doesn’t find anything, only when she is with her friends.</p>
<p>Even though older D attended an expensive private prep, I don’t remember any of the girls getting their hair expensively done for graduation or prom, let alone their nails, although shopping for dress for prom was frustrating enough that if I could have just paid out the money to have it over with I would have.</p>
<p>( well not really- D is very easy going , she actually tries things on that I suggest- whereas her sister will make snap judgement about shops and can decide that it isn’t even worth looking at in 10 seconds)- there was only one store that really had dresses- but D#1 is hard to fit- very petite in height and bone structure but very well endowed on top- she went with ballet pink seperates- which worked very well, but not the sort of thing you would wear again unless you were going as a fairy princess on Halloween, good thing they were marked down- but then I just bought a little sequin bag and chiffon wrap to match- and a tiara 
she even let me curl her hair and do her makeup- boy that was fun- for me anyway)</p>
<p>I do think it will bite these parents in the butt if it hasn’t already.
Yes it is fun to get dressed up, but what you are wearing and the car you take to get there- * really* shouldn’t be the most important thing.</p>
<p>I know Martha advocates that “presentation” is important, and I admit that when I was in high school and after, I spent a lot of time on my appearance, but I would have been better served if I had gotten my confidence from something deeper than what I looked like.
It took a long time to learn that.</p>
<p>My girls amaze me however, in that they are much wiser than I was at that age.
Thank goodness</p>
<p>I don’t think ‘a defining difference between poor and middle-class is planning ahead’. I know an awful lot of girls and moms who were out shopping desperately a week before before prom/big dance and we’re all about as middle-class as can be. </p>
<p>Your $40 for dinner isn’t going to mean (I hope) that you can’t pay the electric bill. I’m not so sure about the working-two-jobs single mom’s $40 for a manicure…besides, I live in a really pricey area and a manicure is $15. I bet they did acrylic nails and special art too!</p>
<p>well our school district defines " a future time orientation" as evidence of racism, but I can’t imagine not planning for things.</p>
<p>Desperate shopping I am familiar with, but I have gone out the day of an evening event & ended up wearing something I already had anyway!</p>
<p>We could afford to buy an expensive prom dress for D, but I started taking her to Loehmann’s and now it is a badge of pride when she scores a really great designer dress, that no one else has, for well under $100. </p>
<p>Her first winter formal, I told her she could spend a total of $100 on dress, shoes, (any required undergarments she didn’t already have) etc. We went to the January clearance sale and she found 3 floor length gowns, all one-of-a-kind, one was damaged on the bottom but needed to be hemmed anyway…all for $80!!! Now she won’t shop anywhere else. She makes it a hobby to see how much she can get for the least amount, so she collects the mailer coupons and goes during the big sale events. </p>
<p>I am so proud!!!</p>
<p>Recital dresses were always hardest for younger d. Always had to be sleaveless. And walkable, so she could move back and forth from the stage easily. And striking. And sometimes themed to the music (we needed Spanish for this one.)</p>
<p>This number cost us a big $14.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.skylarksings.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=22&products_id=51[/url]”>http://www.skylarksings.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=22&products_id=51</a></p>
<p>LOL, Welcome to our world these past 6 years. Son’s friend (girl) ran over her minutes to the tune of $800. Mom increased her minutes. Kids drive into the school in BMW, Mercedes, Corvette. A “bummer” is having to drive a 5 year old Accord. We have the AP test requirement as well, and have to pay ourselves. I just had to pay the school a $450 bill to get them to send son’s final transcripts (ok, about $50 was for prom, the rest for tests). Not to mention grad night ($300 per kid). Oh, and the school “trip”. It cost $5000 (Asia). Needless to say, we didn’t do that one.
Is it no wonder my sons wanted to go to public universities?
This is not reality!!</p>
<p>“A “bummer” is having to drive a 5 year old Accord.”</p>
<p>We have never owned a car that new, but we aren’t complaining. If you choose right (especially after they already have 125,000-150,000 miles, so that everything that is going to go wrong with it is already replaced), they age like a fine wine. Yes, we do give our local mechanic a thousand bucks a year, but better in the local economy than to General Motors. (We’d like to put him on retainer.)</p>
<p>You should buy your kids cars that match up with their birth years. ;)</p>
<p>^^^^how true! We have a 98 Accord with about 125K miles on it and it is an incredible car. Still looks great too!</p>
<p>Homeschoolers have a virtually free senior year.</p>
<p>(BTW, my wedding dress cost $35).</p>
<p>We keep our cars for at least 10 years. I’m still mourning the 1988 Volvo station wagon (245) that I replaced in 2001. It always started and ran perfectly, no repairs ever, but it didn’t have airbags.</p>
<p>That one sounds perfect for me! (I’ve never had a car with airbags.)</p>
<p>[Mini’s car](<a href=“http://www.fresh99.com/fred-flintstone-car.htm”>http://www.fresh99.com/fred-flintstone-car.htm</a>)</p>
<p>The latest model.</p>
<p>Looks a lot like mine, though mine’s not a convertible.</p>
<p>MotherofTwo, at our school you must take EITHER the AP test or a final exam. They want everyone taking the AP class to take the test, if for no other reason than getting the scores back helps the school to evaluate if the class/teacher is effective (for example, they found out the chem teacher was NOT effective when her students got As and Bs in the class, and 1s and 2s on the AP test). But due to the high cost of the tests they will not absolutely require the kids to take them. </p>
<p>As for expenses… our hs only has a junior prom. Junior Prom includes dinner at a fancy reception hall, a DJ, gowns, tuxes, limos and most kids have dates (a very few go in groups of friends). Seniors have a “banquet” instead of a full-blown prom. It’s held at a nice reception place, attire is cocktail dresses, jacket & tie - but not gowns or tuxes. Kids don’t take limos. Most kids go with groups of friends, only established “couples” usually go as dates. And year after year, the Seniors say the banquet was WAY more fun than the prom - because there wasn’t any pressure!</p>