I don’t think the college will necessarily reveal much.
I think you have to firmly separate your aggravation from the financial responsibilities. There’s a lot of the former coming through and for many reasons, the child needs to be spared this. It doesn’t build good relationships. He’s a child and no matter the X’s present influence, you want an improving relationship as he matures. And there’s only so much we can help you with venting.
Financially, if there’s a figure in the decree, presumably that was vetted in that state, before the court signed off. Let’s say it’s 10k. If the college leaves the family with an annual bill for 40k, you are not obliged to pay 20k, just cuz that’s half. Yes, some states can require your 50%. But that’s not an open-ended whatever. It’s usually held to reasonable publuc U costs in that state. And as said, your courts approved your number.
Corrected typos