So you ran the NPCs ?
You may benefit from a school with an open curriculum - Brown, Rochester, Vassar, Grinnell, Wesleyan, Hamilton, Wake in some cases. Kalamazoo is strong and would be a safety vs the others - and has big merit.
I, for one, don’t think research and clubs are necessarily easier at private schools. In fact at some higher end schools, clubs may be competitive. I think that’s hype that is not necessarily true. You can also start a club - mine did and she’s visiting her old school (graduated in May) this weekend and is happy to report the club continues to be active and contributing without her. She was at a mid size regional public.
Another option for you might be to consider a smaller public or even one with an Honors College. Or living in a living learning community.
It sounds like engineering may not be for you because you will have less academic flexibility.
In the end, the money call is personal. Obviously you need to be able to afford further schooling so the time to save is now. And you can even beat UMD pricing stat depending. But you also need to excel academically, and one environment may work for you better than another.
So it’s personal choice but for example, if smaller works better, there are other schools without the name brand you mentioned that will give you tons of opportunities and a fair price.
Best of luck.