I also think the Midwest schools are worth looking at, as mentioned on your other thread. Kenyon is a fantastic college that will probably tick her boxes and does offer a few huge merit awards, but they are like gold dust. Oberlin will probably have the vibe she likes, but I’m not sure how large their merit awards are.
I know W&L was mentioned, but I am not sure the vibe will fit her, given your description of her. It’s pretty preppy. When I looked at a list of colleges with largest merit awards, W&L’s biggest still leaves a $15,000 or so gap for this family. But, will they cover the gap with their financial aid? This is where it gets hard to figure out.
You need a LOT of aid, so she needs affordable options above all else. She has choices of good safeties with the SUNY’s, so spend as much time as you can over the next few days researching other options for her to apply to. Keep checking this thread to see what else is listed.