<p>Welcome to the world of off campus housing. That is why I just love paying the college their "outrageous’ rates for their rooms and apartments for the kids. This is just the very beginning of issues that can arise between roommates. And just when I think I’ve heard it all, a new one comes rolling into my life. </p>
<p>The way it usually works, yes, your daughter owes nothing to her roommate. She got a sublet situation, the other gal did not. However, yes, there is the argument that common areas are being used, The utilities, I assume are going to be totally paid by the subletter.</p>
<p>I would tell your daughter to let the roommate know that she flat out doesn’t have the money and her parents (you) are in a tight situation and that it was essential for her to find a subletter. Tell her to have her parents call you if there is a problem and maybe the parents can work it out, because she doesn’t have the money. You are paying for this and it would have been a financial hardship to have had to pay for the summer. </p>
<p>Be aware that any damages or issues that arise in that apartment are going to be on you D’s head, like it or not. Right or wrong, it’s never good to be in dissention with one’s room mate. You can be so right you are wrong, in these situations.</p>
<p>The only rationale ( not justification) is that the roommate is not looking at this as a business arrangement at all, but a friendship where the two girls were <em>such</em> close friends that neither wants the other to be disadvantaged if one ends up with a subletting tenant and the other did not. As I said, if the roommate wanted to mitigate the risk in that way, it should have been discussed ahead of time. The friend says she would have behaved differently. Maybe, but it certainly seems convenient for her to first bring it up now. </p>
<p>The only circumstances under which I can imagine the roommate feeling a twinge of anything is if the tenant was a mutual friend/ found by an ad they both placed and happened to choose the roommate’s bedroom when she saw the space. Or if the roommate is the one who is typically very generous to a very lopsided degree - for example she has furnished the whole apartment, buys all the food, treats the friend to dinners and weekends and is not sensitive or aware that finances are an issue for the D. Neither entitles her, but it may help to explain the mindset.</p>
<p>Bottom line, there might be some circumstances where roommates would split the uncovered balance of the rent, but with the situation as described, and certainly with finances being a factor, the only reason to compromise is if the value of the friendship or an unpleasant living situation next year means more to you than the money or the principle.</p>
<p>Heck, no! Why should the OP’s DD take on more than her fair share of legal/financial responsibilities due to the poor planning on the roommate’s part? </p>
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<p>Again, why should DD go out of her way to handhold a similarly aged presumably ADULT roommate? </p>
<p>IMO, someone who is mature enough to manage renting an apartment should be well aware of issues of subletting and what lead-times/factors are involved without needing another similarly aged person to remind them. If she didn’t know and/or waited too long…that’s the roommate’s problem and sole responsibility, not the OP’s DD.</p>
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<p>In my social circle, one prerequisite of being a good friend…especially a close friend is that you don’t pull guilt-tripping BS or otherwise financially burden them out of a sense of entitlement based on a warped definition of friendship.</p>
<p>The few “friends” who tried pulling this on me and other friends ended up no longer being friends for that very reason. </p>
<p>Incidentally, the roommate’s behavior/guilt-tripping reminded me of a college classmate’s story of how his foreign language tutor tried to dramatically increase her hourly rates. Her justification was because she incurred large library fines. Classmate then retorted, “That’s your problem, not mine” and insisted she keep to her original rate or he’ll seek another tutor from the department. </p>
<p>First thought out of my head was “What an overentitled idiot.”</p>
<p>Quote: "I’m confused - they already lived in this apartment for a year and the summer is at the END of the lease? Did they already lease the new apartment for September? (Our students rent from June through May.) " -Sorry, I don’t know how to do the quote thingy…</p>
<p>Sylvan- I’m sure all schools are different, but at my D’s (PSU) the lease runs from August to August. In addition, my D had to sign her lease for this coming year way back in October, or she would have been stuck with the “left-overs”. As a result, students can potentially be stuck signing the lease for the following year before they are far enough into the current year to really know how they will get along with roommates.</p>
<p>Well, now DD has to cope with living with someone who is asking to be reimbursed for her summer lease, which isn’t what the DD signed on for when she set out to rent an apartment with F/R. :)</p>
<p>OP, does the living room/kitchen area come pre-furnished? One way to extend the olive branch might be for your D to volunteer to provide some of the pricier furnishings, e.g. a sofa or easy chair or a set of pans. It’s a good idea for roommates to own things outright as individuals rather than buying them together, so this kind of offer makes sense for all kinds of reasons. Even if your D were to offer to reimburse the F/R for some of the summer lease, it won’t ever be enough in the F/R’s eyes. Just don’t invest too much money–if someone, say, spills pizza all over the upholstery, or burns the pans, I don’t see the F/R offering to reimburse your D for part of the cost of the item.</p>
<p>My guess is that the F/R presented the situation a little differently to her parents. That is, did not tell them that she neglected to put in paperwork and only said that she and OP’s D were only able to find one person to sublet through the summer. In that case, the parents might reasonably think that the remaining rent should be split by the two girls. The F/R’s parent may also be tight on money. The F/R may not want her parent’s to know she did not act responsibly and so is trying to get the daughter to pay.</p>
<p>Clearly the daughter is not responsible, but things are not always clear to young adults.</p>
<p>How creative do you suppose the other F/R was about finding a subtenant for her portion? Maybe there are options for last-minute tenants even now, which she’ll only be motivated to seek if you hold the line. In this way, to preserve the friendship, perhaps your D could help “for free” by brainstorming this: other girl could readvertise anew in last-minute online bulletin board locations read by people in that community. I’m guessing that the tenancy switches over first of June. If so, there might be last-minute tenants out there. If theyre working from a student housing office, the other girl could contact that director to see if there’s a market of people who approach her last-minute; if so, how to contact that market? Does the housing office keep a list of names/phones of people who approach them now; if so, can they give her those names to chase? etc </p>
<p>Without getting sucked into the guilt trip or finances, maybe your D can protect the friendship (and her next year good vibes) by acting now like a friend, to help brainstorm ways to get the other girl out of a “spot.” Forget that the other girl created her own “spot” by procrastinating. Now is now, and everyone would be happier if that lease could be fully filled.</p>
<p>yep, Mom2and, oldfort seem to have a great point. I’d try a parent to parent communication. It might make things easier for your D next year. Get D to brainstorm helpful ideas while the parents clearly communicate the circumstances–failure to get the paperwork in promptly has caused this situation for their D. Your D is willing to help brainstorm ideas, pass out contact information if someone askes, mention to the person she has subleasing that you are seeking a 2nd person, etc. Not pay the half, just supportive friend with boundries.</p>
This is an assumption, really, since we don’t know all the dates involved or what subletters came to look at which units. It’s not like Susie Subletter is forced to take DD’s room because it’s first on the list of available places.</p>
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They were “friends” living in the same apartment. I don’t think “I filed to apply for a summer subletter, good to get in early” rises to the level of hand holding. In fact, it seems like something I would want to know as the F/R so I could say that Friend Tina is interested or make my heartfelt plea “please don’t let to a smoker”, which the “friend” could of course subsequently ignore.</p>
<p>I guess I would like to believe that the F/R and parents actually have some valid reasoning beyond “I procrastinated, therefore you should share”. Less inclined to condemn without hearing both sides, YMMV.</p>
<p>Oh, I forgot that the D submitted paperwork for a sublease earlier than the friend (and very separately!). The girls did not find a tenant through any kind of a joint effort or connection, which let’s that out as a possible rationale. </p>
<p>However, that doesn’t prove that the roommate was neglectful on her end. Not everyone knows what their plans will be for the summer so far in advance. And as pointed out, not all tenants are interested in the same type of apartment, the same location or in spending the same amount. There could be people who submitted paperwork after the roommate did who found people and those that filed earlier who have still not found anyone. </p>
<p>So I think calling the roommate neglectful is a stretch from the little we know. But that’s not the point - they were looking completely separately and had no previous agreement. </p>
<p>I agree that it’s not necessarily too late to find someone to sublet. Plans change or a new opportunity opens up for someone at the last minute.</p>
<p>Each girl signed a lease, presumably having read it beforehand. There is no surprise here. Each one is responsible for covering 1/2 of the total cost of the apartment. End of story. Why would this ever involve a conversation between parents? Are we going to let our kids grow up or not? This may affect the friendship? The one where one person is asked to pay more than her legal share?</p>
<p>First, both signed individual leases which means that each of their rent obligations are between them and the landlord/residential life…not shared. Thus, the demarcation of responsibility is clearly marked here. </p>
<p>Secondly, in every shared rental situation I’ve been in/known of…it was commonly understood and usually spelled out at the very beginning that if someone needed to break the lease early or wanted to sublet at a certain date…that’s his/her sole responsibility…friend or not. </p>
<p>That’s not to say we wouldn’t help if asked…but the sole responsibility is on the individual desiring to break lease early/sublet so attempting to get the rest of us to pay his/her share if they weren’t able to find someone would have been a non-starter.</p>