<p>Have her try golf. Get her started with a good teaching professional to learn the game the correct way. There is a LOT of college funds out there for female golfers! Also, your score is what it is. There shouldn’t be any disputing that a 72 beats a 93 (although I’ve seen plenty of parents try):D.</p>
<p>She has only played basketball and swam. She actually is getting a lot of playing time with her current and only second basketball organization. There are other problems with the current organization that make me think a lot of people will leave after this year, the organization’s first year. She got a decent amount of playing time in her first organization. I am not taking her from program to program and wondering why she is not getting more playing time. I am discouraged by the organizations having major problems with leadership. Like I said everyone but the coaches left the former program - it was not just about our family having problems with the program and lack of playing time for our daughter. I have rarely even spoken about playing time or anything related to it to the coaches, and never to this daughter’s coaches.</p>
<pre><code>I appreciate the other stories about problems in sports and have gotten some excellent suggestions. If anyone else has any ideas or stories, that would be great.
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<p>I always let the kids pick their activities within reason. They both volunteered at the zoo quite a bit with the ponies & rode as well. Oldest starting when she was 12 and continued through graduation, that combined with her dance, theatre & vocal pursuits took the place of team sports for the most part.
( also had fear of balls) :(</p>
<p>Youngest wanted to be in soccer from a early age, but she has tactile sensitivity and couldn’t tolerate the shin guards. ( but we hung onto them - this will be important later)
So she joined a rec league basketball team. Non restricting uniforms, and coaches that worked with the team to be very empathetic with her, even setting up plays so that they would bring the ball down the court and she would dunk it in. She stayed with that team throughout grade school, until the coach retired.
She tried soccer again, in 5th grade, and used the same shin guards throughout high school.(I did wash them, but she never found others she liked as well). Even though she was never a top player, that did not affect the way the coach or her teammates treated her. As a result, she improved a great deal, made some amazing plays and gained a great deal of confidence.
Being on these teams ( & learning to snowboard in 6th grade), made all the difference in her life.</p>
<p>Same coach in a rec league through high school. Amazing coach- amazing kids, still some of her best friends. Brought out the advantages of team sports.( parent volunteer coaches)
During middle school, she was on a school soccer team at the same time, but in high school the team was quite competitive, and she decided not to try out.
She and two friends attended a very small school in elementary and middle school, but wanted to attend a large high school. Myself and the other parents encouraged them to join the sports teams as that proved to be a great way of meeting other types of kids.
Her school teams were swim team, & track through high school. In the winter she skied, and she played a rec league rugby team for a few years as well.
In college her only competitive sport is running ( not a school team- but she is now pretty fast- often in the top five for her age, if not first) and plays on informal flag football & soccer teams & skis & swims.</p>
<p>We had a mandatory playing time rule in ages 6-9 little league baseball when I coached. After every game I went home and sat down, and immediately wrote down the player’s positions and spots in the batting order for the next game. It took me 20 minutes to do this. That order would be placed on the dugout fence at the next game so players didn’t come over to me and ask to play shortstop or pitch. Never had a complaint.</p>
<p>This reminds me of an incident that happened one time after a loss at an indoor soccer tournament. Our losing team got their equipment together and walked past the winning team and their coach. The coach was screaming at his players and talking down to them and saying things to them that I could not believe. That team and the coach were not around in two years.</p>
<p>Lovestheheat – find a rowing club and have your daughter try it. Clubs often have a “learn to row” day for the general public, and also one or two week learn to row programs during school holidays.</p>
<p>If your daughter is tall and strong, she is well suited to rowing, but people of all shapes and sizes participate.</p>
<p>Rowing is all about being fit - training includes weights, running, and “erging” (working out on the rowing machines) as well as rowing in boats.</p>
<p>Let me know if there are any other questions I can answer – we are in the Northeast, so the season is shorter as boats do not go out if the water is too cold for falling in!</p>
<p>I’ve seen high level youth sports from both sides as both a competitor then coach myself and later as the parent of a D1 athlete. I think as a parent you need to work hard to find a program or team with the culture that is right for you. Most club programs these days have websites, and while you can’t always believe everything you read that is a place to start. Do they have a team mission statement? Are they members of the Positive Coaching Alliance, a national network of coaches working to make youth sports healthier for all kids? </p>
<p>If you find a team that looks like a good fit talk to parents of kids in that program and perhaps parents of those who’ve competed against them if at all possible. What do they think of the coaches? How long have the coaches been there? Generally if many of their coaches stick around for the long haul they’ve built something good and the program is doing well. Before you change teams figure out what your daughter really wants and needs from the program. Then meet with the coaches and see if their expectations meet up with your needs. If she hopes to really excel in a sport she may well spend more time with these coaches than any other adults in her life except her parents. Make sure these are people you want her to be around a lot!
Finally, if she decides to move away from basketball I suggest you check out water polo. You said she has some competitive swimming experience and polo is a bit like basketball in a pool so she might love it. Good luck.</p>