<p>The neighborhood is very friendly, with a mix of ages. There are many families with children, and new arrivals are usually young families, but many older and retired people as well. There is a community pool/beach/clubhouse where parties are held several times a year. Connie and her husband never show up, and other people in their generation told us years ago that they have always kept to themselves. Connie is tough, pragmatic, and businesslike. She is not well-liked - some people find her rude - but I’ve always gotten along with her. She did not inform anyone about the fence. Don observed the survey (which I did not know about until the stakes were pulled) and asked her about her plans, then called me to tell me about the fence. By the way, the workers were all over his yard doing the survey.</p>
<p>Some years ago Connie’s husband put up a toolshed. He asked whether we would mind if he put it up 1’ closer to our property line than the laws state. This worked better for him and did not make a difference to me, and I agreed. Our neighbors on the other side wanted to widen their driveway, because it was so narrow that they couldn’t get their cars through. Our houses are 9’ apart. Between us is their driveway and a narrow walkway and some plantings that are ours. They would not have been able to widen their driveway without our permission, and we let them widen it right to the property line. Our neighbors across the street did the same thing for their neighbors. I could give other examples. We are all living very close together, and there is a tradition of people working things out and making concessions.</p>
??? I don’t know too many people who have $1.8M to plunk down on a house, especially if the asking price is $400k too high. Doesn’t exactly sound like a problem with the property values to me.
And the litttle juvies , should they act out in school, have to face consequences. Sounds like they don’t have any consequences at home. Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t the OP and Connie build a set of stocks on the property line? that should solve all the problems! :D</p>
<p>To answer a point from many posts ago, we did not set up the sharing of the buildable lot. We bought a house 11 years ago that included half of the lot. I have no idea what the history is. When Connie was trying to sell a year ago, she asked me whether I would be willing to sell my half. It would have made her property more valuable if the building lot could be split off. We are not willing to sell; if a new house were to go up, we’d be squeezed between our current neighbors and the new house. Connie told me that when the previous owners of my house were ready to sell, they asked her and her husband to sell her half-lot, and they would not. No one wants to sell unless they’re moving away.</p>
<p>My conversation with Connie was perfectly polite, but we were both straightforward. I asked whether she would consider several alternatives, she turned them all down. I did state my position that the fence would be an eyesore, but in a matter-of-fact way. I’m not sure how I became a bully of elderly women! And I don’t see the letter (which is not yet written) as hostile, but as a business-like statement of my position and Don’s. Connie has every reason to believe, based on history, that I will not object if the fence encroaches on my property. Better that she knows ahead of time that I will. And I’ve realized from some comments in the thread that I should state that I will not allow workers on my property, too, for liability reasons.</p>
<p>Stocks! I love that idea! It’s always shocking to encounter a child who is absolutely not intimidated by adults.</p>
<p>The younger two children are in our public schools. I doubt that they cause any problems there, at least not yet. The older one is in the local XXX-American school (the family is from another country). </p>
<p>Connie and her husband have had an on-again, off-again, relationship, with several long separations. She has always spoken of him in a dismissive way, with a hint of scorn in her voice. This always bothered me, because he was a lovely man (to us, at least). So I don’t really know how she feels about him. She may love him deeply underneath the apparent attitude, or she may not. And he is the father of her children. It’s impossible to tell about relationships from the outside.</p>
<p>Oh, and I had decided during my long drive that I should pay for the re-surveying, even though the stakes would not have been touched if she’d informed me of the survey.</p>
<p>Also, about 2 years ago Connie held a small wedding for one of her children in her backyard, on our side, that included our half of the lot. It was beautiful, with a small classical ensemble playing, and tables set up on the lawn (including the part that belongs to us). We enjoyed listening to the music and watching the wedding from inside our house. No one asked in advance about using our property for the wedding, and it didn’t occur to us to even think about it.</p>
<p>And that… as Paul Harvey says…is the rest of the story. So much for the poor woman who lovingly spent her last dime in the care of her husband, and is defenseless against the neighborhood adult bullies. Sorry for the sarcasm here. It is just fascinating to me how these stories can take on a life of their own. OP, I am glad you are back to keep the facts straight and the theories in check.</p>
<p>The real estate market has really slowed down here, and prices have fallen, but reasonably priced houses sell. Connie’s house would have sold if priced realistically.</p>
<p>I would not have expected (or wanted) to be invited to the wedding. I’ve never even met any of her children. We’ve had a cordial relationship, but I’ve never been in their house and they’ve never been in mine. I am very close to neighbors on the other side, to two families across the street, and to some other people in the neighborhood, including some elderly people, but this couple never seemed very social.</p>
<p>I mentioned the wedding because it illustrates the way the extra lot has been treated until now - as a common resourse. Of course, we knew where the property line was - for one thing, we had separate lawn cutting services - and I always told my kids not to run on their lawn, but if they occasionally strayed a foot over the property line while playing a game I didn’t think much of it.</p>
<p>roshke, I like the idea of split-rail fencing with deer fencing. It would probably look better than the picket fence I was thinking of. I also think the cast-aluminum fences are beautiful, although they probably are too formal for this space. But Connie left no openings for other ideas; she is going to do what she’s decided to do.</p>
<p>Hey there NYMom - thanks for coming back and adding some clarity to the situation! I agree with jym…this little story had become quite embellished in your absence…lol!</p>
<p>Given that Connie seems to be a tough cookie and can probably take it (lol!) and given the precedent has been set where she might assume it would be okay to send workers on to your property, imho, it would be a good idea to send a letter letting her know that, for liability reasons, workers should not be on your property at any time. I don’t think it is out of line at all…and as I said, she probably won’t bat an eye at it, much less be offended or ‘feel bullied’. (And frankly, if she is…too bad is what I say.)</p>
<p>Hey, ldmom06-
Before I hit the hay–how’d you like the idea of the stocks and pillories? Lovely touch, eh? Then maybe if they do find some true bullies they can string them up too, after the juvenile delinquent neighborhood kids!</p>
<p>We have a family vacation house with neighbors who have inherited their vacation homes. No paid much attention to lot lines other than nothing too outrageous and with permission of the neighbor. The surveys of old were not all that accurate and the line was sometimes different if you start from the North vs starting from the South. </p>
<p>The house north of us is an exception in that it has been owned by 6 single women in the last 36 years. In 1998, SHE, put up a fence along the lot line. About as close as the lot line as you can get. Along this fence, SHE, put in a maple, five shedding pines, and creeping bayberry. The fence is placed so that we can no longer park our car along side of the house. For 80 years these two houses shared a driveway and a garage. Ten years later, and now the Third She, to own this house since the First She, likes the fence. We use the house maybe once every two months for only a couple of days each time. I have got the,Third She, to acquiesce to removing part of the fence, and the overhanging branches. I’m doing the work. The maple is unfortunately staying. </p>
<p>If there was enough spacing between the Houses, there isn’t in our case, put in the most gawdawful statuary, plants, rotten Vegas, manure piles, on your side. You can later move your stuff out but you can’t move hers. Think about getting a male dog to keep the fence posts fertilized. </p>
<p>I sympathize with you. We have always complained to the various owners about this fence. We had one She owner who allowed a renter to raise Emus and Ostriches, in the backyard of 50x30.</p>
<p>Wait-- I want a view of the renters Ostriches and Emus. Any still in the area? And when you say Vegas, do you mean the old chevy cars? I can hardly wait…</p>
<p>Hmmm…NYMom2…maybe the letter should include a “no emus or ostriches” clause?!! Although the ostriches could possibly have a good time terrorizing the little creeps behind Connie…</p>