I haven’t seen the documentary (don’t have Netflix), but googled it to learn more. Sounds interesting. I especially liked the discussion of different tools that therapists can use. There are a variety of approaches to therapy these days, some that didn’t exist–or I was unaware of–earlier in my life.
I spent the better part of my 20s in therapy trying to come to terms with a difficult childhood family situation. At the time I had no knowledge about alternatives; I thought all therapy was the same, and I just had to find someone I liked (and could afford!).
For several years I saw a woman whose method was the stereotypical “Hmmm [nod]. And how did that make you feel?” She said very little, just the occasional question and the even rarer comment. I guess I was supposed to figure things out by listening to myself talk. And though I did come to understand a lot about my family, it really didn’t do anything to alleviate my depression.
I’ve heard of people who spend decades in analysis with this type of technique. But for me, I eventually felt stuck and stopped therapy.
In contrast, at another time I saw a therapist whose sessions were much more like a conversation. He’d ask questions, comment on what I said, and even offer his opinion, not as in telling me what to do, but as a different perspective to consider. Granted, I was older and wiser, and was seeking help for a particular problem (though we ended up delving into much deeper issues), but I made more progress in 6 months with him than several years with the previous therapist.
My preference is for therapies that give me tools to deal with my life as it is now. That may require delving into the past, to aid understanding, but that alone is not enough. I can’t change the past, but do want to change the way I live in the present.